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-   -   Am I the only one? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1336103)

jaxoncasemom 01-12-2012 07:59 AM

Am I the only one?
 
For a detailed story of my son's birth please visit here : http://peacockwings.wordpress.com/jaxons-story/
^^That's my blog :D



I was very nervous about having a vaginal birth and in fact didn't want the drugs. But being only 20 and everyone telling me I would need the epidural I gave in. Long story short.. I had to have an emergency cesection (I mean rushing me down the hallway, I was in the twilight zone emergency). I could hear people talking around me, but I couldn't speak. The doctors spoke how they had to get Jax out because he was close to death or dead and that they needed to get him out or I would be going along with him.

While I am extremely happy that all went well and he was a healthy boy, I still feel some sadness because I didn't get to have the birth that I wanted. While talking to my doctor, I asked if I ever had another kid if I could have a VBAC she said she would not perform one and that she wasn't aware of anyone that would.

I feel so sad that my baby had to be born this way. He didn't get to breastfeed till like 3 hours after he was born, due to I had to have Xray, because they hadn't had time to count instruments. Don't get me wrong me and my child are happy and extremely close.

What are my options if I have another child, is Csection the only way?

KiltedKingdom 01-12-2012 08:12 AM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
:hugs: Sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted.

Why did you end up needing a c-section? There are lots of women who have c-sections then have vaginal births afterwards (my sister is one of them).

I've even heard that the risks after having one c-section aren't very great, but they increase exponentially after having 2 or more.

ETA: I just read your story. If it were me, I would refuse induction for as long as possible and attempt a vbac. It sounds like the fetal distress was a result of the rushed labor, hopefully next time will be a better experience for you.

jaxoncasemom 01-12-2012 08:31 AM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
Yes it was most likely fetal distress. I hated being induced, I had went in that thursday (I gave birth on Tuesday) and was sent home with 2 min apart contractions and was told to wait and lay down and try not to encourage anything until my induction on Tuesday. Needless to say... Thursday to Tuesday was MISERABLE for me!

I wish I had had the money for a home birth now that I look back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KiltedKingdom (Post 14438315)
:hugs: Sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted.

Why did you end up needing a c-section? There are lots of women who have c-sections then have vaginal births afterwards (my sister is one of them).

I've even heard that the risks after having one c-section aren't very great, but they increase exponentially after having 2 or more.

ETA: I just read your story. If it were me, I would refuse induction for as long as possible and attempt a vbac. It sounds like the fetal distress was a result of the rushed labor, hopefully next time will be a better experience for you.


mom2cse 01-12-2012 12:14 PM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
If you do need another C-section, planned are often so much different from emergency. For various reasons, all three of mine were planned, so I don't know exactally what an emergency c-section is like, but my planned ones seemed much easier than your section. After they did the spinal, they allowed my husband in the room for the entire time. I was very "with it" the whole time and could tell medical staff if I was feeling nautious or having any other problems and they could address it. I remember my children's births and they all never left the operating room until I was holding them. It was frustrating that I did not get to hold them or even get a good look at them until they were about 15 minutes old as I couldn't leave the table and the nurses were tending to them in another part of the room. I did however, get to hear every squeal, squeek, and cry and as soon as the babies were ready, they brought them over for my husband to hold and for me to admire. I was able to hold all of them once the procedure was done and then we all went to the recovery room where I could breastfeed right away (usually 1/2 hour to 45 minutes after birth).

If a VBAC is an option you should certainly look into it, but please don't fear that another c-section will be as challenging as your son's birth.

Good Luck!

Abbaloosa 01-12-2012 01:14 PM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
Do your own research....I just had a VBAC after two c/s. My OB was not positive about it but "let" me try...the other partners in the practice supposedly wouldn't have even allowed it. The only negative I had going was that I had never labored or delivered vaginally before...I had an unproven pelvis. First baby was breech, second came 14 months later and I regrettably opted for a repeat c/s.

The rupture risk doesn't increase much at all from one to two to three c-sections. Read ACOG's articles about it. Just stand up for yourself...the OB's will tell you something completely different than what the actual hard facts do. Being induced does increase the rupture rate though whether you are VBAC or not.

linzbear 01-12-2012 05:03 PM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
You can totally VBAC next time, mama! Check out the ICAN forums and find a provider who will be supportive of a trial of labor. I would definitely get a new OB or midwife for your next birth, I would not be able to trust your present one after your past experience.

mariamommy 01-12-2012 08:56 PM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
I'm sorry you had to go through that, I have very similar feelings about my cesarean births. VBAC is definitely a possibility. Start your research about it, ICAN is a great resource. Check out http://www.theunnecesarean.com/ too.

mibarra 01-12-2012 09:15 PM

I had VBAC after a completely valid 'crash' section, my doc (who did both) was supportive, explained the risks and let me choose. However, he did mention there is such a thing as a true emergency C section where sometimes muscles get torn, and you really may not be able to have a VBAC. My suggestion is to find a supportive doc you trust and get a 2nd opinion. I would definitely do VBAC again. BUT remember when you look at statistics that they apply generally, not necessarily specifically, meaning just because VBAC is often safer doesn't mean it's the right choice for everyone. :)

Computermama 01-13-2012 12:18 AM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
First off, no, you are definitely not the only woman who looks at the c-section, regardless of the necessity of it or not with regret and a feeling of loss. There are plenty of us, it's a very common thing. It doesn't mean that you love your baby less or aren't happy they are there, the pain and regret is over the loss of the feeling of accomplishment of bringing your baby into the world not over the baby itself. It's like having a wonderful marriage, despite having a terrible wedding - you love your husband and the fact that the wedding was ruined doesn't change the fact that you love your husband, but you're allowed to be pissed that the wedding was ruined.

As to if you have a choice of trying for a vaginal birth again that will depend on how the section was done (transverse low incision vs classical vertical incision), and what caused the distress in the first place. If you have a standard transverse incision, and the distress that you went through is a freak thing that is not likely to recur, then yes, you should be able to have a VBAC. If they had to do a classical incision, or if the episode you had in birthing is something you're going to have again (without knowing what happend, I can't tell), then c-section may be your only option. There's very minimal increased risk in vaginal birth for women who've had previous c-sections vs those who havn't, so just having had a section would not automatically preclude you from having a vaginal birth, but the circumstances that surrounded yours might, depending on what they are. So I would talk to your doctor and do some research. Chances are very good that you still will be able to choose how you birth.

mariamommy 01-13-2012 10:02 AM

Re: Am I the only one?
 
Quote:

It's like having a wonderful marriage, despite having a terrible wedding - you love your husband and the fact that the wedding was ruined doesn't change the fact that you love your husband, but you're allowed to be pissed that the wedding was ruined.
THIS is an awesome analogy to make sense of it!! thanks for sharing!


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