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-   -   Wondering about adoption (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1342705)

Remington's Mom 01-24-2012 05:01 PM

Wondering about adoption
 
If there is already a thread on this I apologize!
My husband and I have been talking about adoption. I've started to look into all that is entailed in the process, and have gotten lost and confused. Does anyone have any good resources?
I wanted more information on adoption with in the united states. I admire those whom foster but I don't think we could do it. Although it is a wonderful thing.
Thank you for any feedback!

bug2003 01-24-2012 08:35 PM

Re: Wondering about adoption
 
There are various ways to go about it.

Agency:
Research and find an agency you are comfortable with. It might be a national agency or one that's local to you. The agency has expectant moms come in that are thinking of placing for adoption. They work with these e-moms to help them decide if placing is what they really want to do or if they want to parent. The e-moms get to decide who they place with if they choose to go that route. Because of this, the wait can be incredibly long or very short depending on what the current e-moms are looking for in a family for their baby. As an adoptive couple, you will have a profile that the e-moms can look at.

Facilitators:
These are not an agency, although there are facilitation companies that are run sort of like agencies. Pretty much it's a middle man that finds e-moms and helps connect them to adoptive couples. Again, the e-moms choose who they want to place with.

Through an attorney:
E-moms will sometimes contact attorneys to help them find a family to place their baby with.

Completely on your own:
Depending on your state laws, you can advertise that you are hoping to adopt. Some people have even bought ads at movie theaters that play before a movie starts or billboards indicating this. Most just go the route of having a blog and/or an online profile and by word of mouth. Once you are matched with an e-mom this route, you will need to hire an attorney to help you through the legal stuff.



We did a combination of an agency and on our own. Our agency calls what we did a designated adoption. We found the e-mom through adoption pass along cards (essentially business cards that had our adoption info on it that we gave to family and friends to pass to those they heard of that were considering placing) and she was okay with using our agency, so all our girls' birth mom did was go in and tell the agency that she wanted to place with us. They had her fill out some forms and did some counseling with her. She had a caseworker and we had our caseworker. Both were present at the hospital when she signed relinquishment of parental rights. From the time we turned in our initial paperwork to the time we were placed with the twins was about two years (it was about 18 months from the time we had all the paper work, background checks, etc and were approved to when we were placed with). One of my friends was approved to adopt and were placed with two months later, so it really varies. I suggest that whatever route you go, that you try to spread the word via word of mouth, a blog, etc, even if you are using an agency, attorney or facilitator.

Badonkadonk Knits 01-24-2012 10:59 PM

Re: Wondering about adoption
 
As the above poster explained, there are many different avenues when adopting within the US privately (meaning not out of the state system). Really, the first step is to have some discussions with your significant other and make some initial decisions on what avenue you think would best fit what you are looking for. There is no right or wrong...but some options you may be more comfortable with than others.

We started making decisions first by talking to people we knew who had adopted to gain more general information, just as you are doing by posting here. Also, if you know anyone personally, take them to coffee and ask the questions that are rolling around in your mind. We then made some calls. For us, it was between private adoption through an agency or through a private attorney. I did a lot of online research specific to our state and local area. I called and spoke to an agency that we heard high remarks about, as well as setting up an initial consultation with a very highly recommended private adoption attorney. It cost us about $300 to meet with him, but we gained SO much information from that one meeting that we felt fully confident in making solid decisions. Ultimately we went with him, and a mere 6 months after our meeting with him we were matched with our son's biological mother. 2.5 months after that we held our son in our arms at birth. It has been one of the biggest blessings of our life.

Good luck!

Remington's Mom 01-25-2012 03:33 PM

Thank you both!
I think talking to someone who's adopted personally is a great idea (although we don't currently know anyone I am going to ask around)
I appreciate the knowledge you both have shared. Wanted to gain more direct knowledge from those who've experienced it, so I'm glad you responded. Thank you.

jbh099s 01-26-2012 12:27 PM

Re: Wondering about adoption
 
A thread like this should be stickied. I think lots of people check out this section looking for the start up info and might find a sticky really helpful. Although it is nice to get an intro to the new faces! :)

FindingMercy 01-26-2012 01:42 PM

Re: Wondering about adoption
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jbh099s (Post 14531044)
A thread like this should be stickied. I think lots of people check out this section looking for the start up info and might find a sticky really helpful. Although it is nice to get an intro to the new faces! :)

I've thought the same thing MANY times. We should just make a good resource sticky of all the types of adoptions and ways to go about each kind.

dren09 01-27-2012 04:30 PM

Re: Wondering about adoption
 
The PP shared some great info!!! If you are looking for an agency, I would highly recommend American Adoptions. We used them to adopt our son (who we named Remington, so ironic about your username!!). If you have any specific questions let me know

mommaofboys 01-30-2012 08:34 AM

Re: Wondering about adoption
 
You might consider adopting through your local foster care system. That's what we are doing. There is a huge need!

aumismommy 02-01-2012 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FindingMercy

I've thought the same thing MANY times. We should just make a good resource sticky of all the types of adoptions and ways to go about each kind.

Yes please!!!!


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