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-   -   I just need to vent! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1343889)

*Kai&Mommy* 01-26-2012 05:24 PM

I just need to vent!
 
***This is a bit long,but who ever takes the time to read-thanks.
I first just want to point out that my son is my world...I work & try so hard
To be the best parent I can be, raising him in all the right ways!
I have had in home parenting classes since I was 10 weeks pregnant. I always feel there is a new goal I'm striving to meet as a parent, and that's no bad thing. I'm not just raising a child I'm teaching a new genaration. I work so hard on my son & never feel like I'm doing
Enough, at times though I feel exhaused. Also I'm a single parent...

So begins my rant, I had a family member come into town a few weeks ago let's just say she can be...spiteful,just one of "those"personality types. I ignored any past rudeness and just wanted to try to get along. I exerted my self to speak to her even to go shopping with her. I packed everything in my bag and got ready to go-toys,formula,diapers wet bag wipes ect ect. Got out and realized I forgot his bottle-crap. Was not out shopping to long,he never cried and was FINE. I finished up shopping and told her we would stop to eat. I opted for Mexican,my son was ready and he loves Mexican-he loves any kind of food. So as he always does he ate half of my plate full of food.
My son will not stop eating so I usually cut him off at a certain point-once I see him slowing down.
I noticed from then on when she was here for the rest of her trip she kept trying to over feed my son "he needs to eat till he's full" I noticed he started getting sick and constipated after she would do this.
So to make a long story short she went home and a few days later I get this e-mail... How many bottles does my 11 month old need? was the title.
It was this letter she wrote going on and on about how my child is not developed mentally (I'm putting this in nice terms you guys). Then wen't on to say I was starving my son,I did not know how to care for him that i'm stunting him,that most babies are lively and happy,he is lack lustre and slumped over. That I should be feeding my child till he burps,that i should be stuffing him.
You know what made it even worse-I found out she forwarded this to everyone in my family that she could. I felt aweful. I felt upset then I felt angry!
A few days later I noticed my sons father questioning me about how much I feed our son,how many bottles and that.."I should be stuffing him till he's full" humm..doesnt that sound familiar.... yes,I'm pretty sure she forwarded the letter to him on FB as well. It seems like everyone bows down to her and goes along with what she says as to just avoid an arguement and too make her happy. I feel like i'm stuck in an eposode of "mean girls" or somthing, I feel so hurt and even though I think I AM a good parent I feel like her letter is in the back of my head- That I'm not good enough. I just don't know what to do and I feel like what if everyone thinks I am that way? :cry: This also hurts a lot because my son is small for his age,he was born a few weeks early and this has always been the issue,not one my doctor is very worried about though. He is meeting all his mile stones, very smart also,starting to try to walk also. This just brings up so many emotions, I've come such along way alone and to be treated this way and for her to tell others these things and for them to believe it also it's just all I can take. :rant: Thank-you for listening!

MCR 01-26-2012 05:31 PM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
:hugs: it's hard to prove yourself a good parent when someone is undermining all your good efforts. If his Dad is so concerned, have him come to the next doctor visit so the ped can tell him that your baby is fine and you are doing a good job. Stay strong and cut the ***** out of your life, she isn't helping any. I'd also delete her from facebook she doesn't need to be in your business

jac1976 01-26-2012 05:31 PM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
:hugs: I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It is never fun when someone questions our parenting abilities, but then to have their nonsense copied to everyone in the family is horrible.

I know a little how you are feeling. My sister spent last summer trying to convince me that my son was way too skinny- because you could see his ribs. I pointed out the fact that he has a belly, and her response was kids in Ethiopia do too, it's because they are starving. It was hard to ignore her, but I just reassured myself that as long as the doctor isn't concerned, I shouldn't be either.

And hopefully this doesn't start any sort of debate, but I FF'd both of my kids and certainly remember times when I forgot their bottle or was out longer than I expected. It happens. Please don't beat yourself up over it. It sounds like you are a wonderful parent.

*Kai&Mommy* 01-26-2012 05:46 PM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MCR (Post 14533381)
:hugs: it's hard to prove yourself a good parent when someone is undermining all your good efforts. If his Dad is so concerned, have him come to the next doctor visit so the ped can tell him that your baby is fine and you are doing a good job. Stay strong and cut the ***** out of your life, she isn't helping any. I'd also delete her from facebook she doesn't need to be in your business

His father & I are separated & we live across the countryfrom each other. Also in a dispute right now so she's really helping by sending him such a letter :banghead: shes not on my fb or his but at one time was. She I guess took the time to search for him on old messages. I'm just floored by all of this.

The3LittleBerkhs 01-26-2012 05:51 PM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MCR (Post 14533381)
:hugs: Stay strong and cut the ***** out of your life, she isn't helping any.

This is what I'd say to you too :hugs:

loving my family 01-26-2012 06:13 PM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
You could always have the ped type up & print out his growth chart. & his over all health analysis for what sounds like you will need to have done in the future for court, sense you are in a dispute with your ex.
As for your family treating you so rudely to send a mass email out, I have no words...but only hugs I am sorry.

Almacham 01-26-2012 07:00 PM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
:hugs:

mibarra 01-26-2012 09:31 PM

I agree get the info from the ped for custody purposes.

I tend to be pretty no nonsense, but I would tell her this:

You do everything you can to be the best parent possible, and are confident your son is growing well. You do not have to justify your parenting to her or anyone else. You don't appreciate her rude, presumptuous attitude, and until that changes, you and she are done. You will niether respond to phone calls or emails until she demonstrates respect for you as a parent and a person.

Family is a privilege, not a right. :)

*Kai&Mommy* 01-27-2012 07:05 AM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mibarra (Post 14535014)
I agree get the info from the ped for custody purposes.

I tend to be pretty no nonsense, but I would tell her this:

You do everything you can to be the best parent possible, and are confident your son is growing well. You do not have to justify your parenting to her or anyone else. You don't appreciate her rude, presumptuous attitude, and until that changes, you and she are done. You will niether respond to phone calls or emails until she demonstrates respect for you as a parent and a person.

Family is a privilege, not a right. :)

Well Said! :thumbsup:

Agla 01-27-2012 07:17 AM

Re: I just need to vent!
 
Even if she was worried about your son she tried to intercede in a way that was hateful not helpful.

She is toxic. Cut her out.
I'm sorry to say but I think she probably called child services on you too.

There is a certain matriarch in my family who is brutal like that. For some reason people put up with her bs. I cut her off and she did end up apologizing but I keep her at a far distance and I do not disclose any info. to her.

People are afraid of her and it makes me crazy that I'm the only one that has stood up to her.


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