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-   -   Private BM sharing question (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1346692)

jessicacarol 02-01-2012 12:11 PM

Private BM sharing question
 
So I have a huge excess of milk that I wanted to donate. I found a woman on Eats on Feets that wanted it. We started to make plans and first she asked me to drive 2-3 hours o meet, yikes! I turned this option down and now she plans to have me ship it, she pays...much better option for me. So now that we are working out this plan I have SO much anxiety. What if I need this milk? What if she does not pay me the $40-50 it will cost to ship? Why doesn't she ask me any questions about my health, how I store the milk, do I drink/smoke? I would be very paranoid about getting milk and feeding it to my Lo, why doesn't she appear to be? I cannot believe I am being so protective over my milk....I think it really bothers me that we will not meet, I will not meet this baby, I will have no idea who she is and how she uses my milk.

I need a little encouragement to go through with this, tell me about your milk sharing experiences or tell me that I am just being paranoid. Please?!?

tibeca 02-01-2012 01:56 PM

Re: Private BM sharing question
 
She should be paying you in advance, via paypal, for shipping. I certainly wouldn't give it to her and wait to receive shipping monies.

And its okay to be unsure about giving away your liquid gold. You know your own health and its okay to feel freaked out about her not asking questions. But honestly, it isn't your kid that will be getting the milk, so its not something you should worry about.

blathnat 02-01-2012 04:00 PM

Re: Private BM sharing question
 
I have a low supply and have had several different milk donors. One is a good friend, I've seen her and her baby and I know her habits so I was totally comfortable with her. For the others, I met them on human milk for human babies on Facebook. I tend to go with the theory that if they are feeding their own child breast milk then they probably have healthy habits, because who would deliberately risk their child's health. I also think that if someone is posting on a forum like eats on feets or hmhb that they are probably fairly crunchy with values similar to mine. I do ask about health habits, smoking, drinking, etc.. but I never asked for any test results.

I can't speak to shipping issues since I've always just driven to the donor or arranged a pick-up with a nearby friend. I'm lucky that there seem to be plenty of people willing to help within a 1-2 hour drive.

Kudos to you for thinking about donating! As someone who relies on donor milk for my son to thrive... my donors mean the world to me and I am so appreciative.

VeganCupcake 02-01-2012 05:35 PM

Re: Private BM sharing question
 
Only you can decide if you may need the milk later. If you aren't ready to give it away, then that's ok. Maybe you'd feel better if you had a stash for donation and a stash for yourself.

When I have shipped milk, it has been charged directly to the recipients FedEx account--I didn't pay for it in advance at all. Maybe see if you can set something like that up. It often saves the recipient on shipping costs if they have an account, too.

None of my recipients have ever asked me about any medical testing, my health, smoking or drinking, drug use, etc. (One prospective recipient did ask, but then didn't take any milk--hopefully not because of my answers! :blush: I'm a pretty clean-living person.) They have all met me in person when coming to get the milk, though--so they can see me and my babies. I wonder if it feels sort of like a taboo to the some recipients to ask about testing or drug use--as if it's acting ungrateful or something? I certainly don't mind being asked those things, but I can see that it might feel that way to ask.

I dunno--just like I don't think that women are pumping themselves full of drugs, then pumping milk and donating it to other babies, I don't think most people are seeking out breastmilk and then using it for nefarious purposes (aside from a few ******izers). I think it's just mothers looking for milk for their babies who often don't do well or stay healthy on anything but breastmilk, and they can't provide it all themselves. It's not an easy situation to be in and I feel for them.

Aleesh_Mom 02-01-2012 08:17 PM

Go with your gut. I'm more paranoid, and my first thought from your story was they were taking the milk to sell (illegally) so the less work they did, the better. If I was accepting a donation of anything, I'd take it upon myself to drive to pick up or pp the money first, and never expect or even consider putting the donor in a position to cater to me. As long as you go with your heart and gut things will work out fine!

doodle19 02-02-2012 08:49 AM

Re: Private BM sharing question
 
When I ship milk they usually send me a cooler via USPS and have Fed Ex prepaid label thing inside. All I have to do is drop it by Fed-Ex

jes750 02-02-2012 09:22 AM

I donated for about a year through milk share. The mama I donated to asked me every health question under the sun (understandably) and even questions on how the milk would be stored. They lived several hours away from us and she never once asked me to go out of my way at all. Every couple months they would drive down to our house and pick up the milk. She also supplied all the milk storage bags. She even tried to pay me multiple time (didn't accept it). Very sweet family.
I would for sure ask for the shipping fee up front. I know I sure would be asking lots of questions if I were using someone else's milk...

jessicacarol 02-02-2012 08:06 PM

Re: Private BM sharing question
 
I think we worked it out, both of our first times! I just kept putting the responsibility beck on her and she's done the work.....600 oz out the door next week (400 still in the freezer!)


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