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-   -   kinship care in canada.. (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1349396)

DillyDay 02-06-2012 04:51 PM

kinship care in canada..
 
i just need advice from anyone who has done kinship care in canada.

back story on this is such.

My sister 3 years ago, told social services to come take her children, or she woul do gr3eat bodily harm to them. they were in foster care for 2 months before my mother took them. my mother had them for 3 years and this almost broke her marriage apart. she can not do it again. my sister is now currently pregnant with her 3rd child, and has threatened to give the other 2 away again and go live on the streets or something with her baby... or give the baby to the father and take off. while we are mostly chalking this up to her depression and the fact she has not found the right pill to get it under control again, we are not putting it past her.

so.. i just need advice from someone who has done kinship care. i can not have my mother break apart her 20 year marriage, for these children. and these children need to be in a safe home. which i was thinking would be my house. i love them to bits.

please please do not quote me. i may need to delete this should anything happen with my family.

dogmom327 02-06-2012 08:15 PM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
I'm not in Canada but we were involved in a kinship care situation with my sister and it took a toll beyond anything either my other sister or I is able to do again. No matter how much we love our nephew, dealing with his parents is beyond a nightmare and we have to preserve our own family safety and sanity.

It is awesome you are willing to step up and it sounds like you probably have some idea what you are in for given the toll it took on your mom. But I'd encourage you to think long and hard about this. You weren't specific about what took the toll on your mom but is the situation going to be better in your home?

Best wishes mama. These situations are always awful.

pcjs 02-06-2012 08:18 PM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
Take them and don't think twice. It isn't the kids fault what their mom is going through with depression. Just know its going to be hard but doable.

DillyDay 02-07-2012 11:25 AM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dogmom327 (Post 14600123)
I'm not in Canada but we were involved in a kinship care situation with my sister and it took a toll beyond anything either my other sister or I is able to do again. No matter how much we love our nephew, dealing with his parents is beyond a nightmare and we have to preserve our own family safety and sanity.

It is awesome you are willing to step up and it sounds like you probably have some idea what you are in for given the toll it took on your mom. But I'd encourage you to think long and hard about this. You weren't specific about what took the toll on your mom but is the situation going to be better in your home?

Best wishes mama. These situations are always awful.

the toll it took was that my dad did NOT want those kids in the house. they are not bad kids, my dad just wants his peaceful hermit lifestyle where he can sit in front of the wood stove and nap with his dog at his feet. can't do that with the children running around being kids, and making kid messes. my mom on the other hand, can handle having kids running around she loves being a gramma. but wanted the gramma role. and my mom sunk into a depression knowing she would get 1 hr max visitation with them every 2 months in the foster care system up here.

i just need good data to convince the boyfriend that taking them would be a good thing, and that our lives would be better for it. (a 9 year old to help do dishes? and who LIKES doing dishes? and a 6 year old who wants nothing more then to help out with chores? HECK YES!)

so i can take them just yet. she has to put them into the foster care system before i could take them. and if i take them. she will NOT be getting them back. ever.

newmommy13 02-08-2012 04:04 PM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
they sound like great kids! but...never say never in foster care. good luck and i hope everything turns out ok!

eahcapemay 02-09-2012 01:09 AM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
I don't want to put your life on blast or "out" you- but how would you handle a homestudy? I don't know if the home study team would even know or not but if they found out I don't think you would elligable to adopt/foster care in some states in the us. No idea about Canada. I really hope that this is non-issue and that you can get these kids.

please don't quote me as I will delet this post if the op asks.

newmommy13 02-09-2012 08:09 AM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
Wow.

DillyDay 02-09-2012 03:17 PM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
those posts if your willing to search them, i have outed myself on here. so no worries on that. i am still looking for people who have done kinship care in canada though. so i know where i can go from there.

mgmsrk 02-09-2012 03:51 PM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
You want to know about receiving the foster care stipends as a family member? If that is the question it changes by Province/Municipality. I think in all you will need a home study or the parent's sign off if they are considered competent by CS.

Is the home study likely to be a problem, size of house, income? Is the PP just in a tizzy because you are gay? Who flipping cares. I'm grateful to be going back to the US but one of the things I will miss about Canada is that it is so hard to come across a religious nut(unlike the US where you can't walk 10 feet with out running into a preaching idiot) and that the people in general are more tolerant of the fact that people are different.

DillyDay 02-09-2012 06:40 PM

Re: kinship care in canada..
 
thank you mgmark! this is all theoretical at the moment. but in case something goes down with my sister. i just wanted to know what experiences others did have when doing this with the foster system.

i think they are more in a tizzy because of my current choices in how i am living my life. you can find the thread if you look up the ones i posted. or in non-traditional forum.


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