If you have a child with ODD...
What does your day look like?
Help me walk a mile in your shoes :)
My oldest is having some issues, and while I DO NOT think he has ODD I'd like to hear a little of your day so I can compare what we're dealing with (that I see as fairly minor) to behaviors you mamas deal with consistently.
Lots of anger. Yelling when not getting her way. Obsession with getting things. To name a few. Day after day. ;(.
We homeschool so getting her out of bed is a task, she is usually miserable. If we ask her to do anything she freaks out. She can be a sweet heart and very kind, but its very tough. We do not medicate her because we have had issues with medication when she was younger. We do lots of "go to your room to calm down" days.
Keeping her busy is a must. If sheis busy and doing things she likes her temper is more likely to be in check.
She is 14 and was diagnosed with add and ocd very young (age 3/4) and odd at 6. I personally am not sure her diagnoses are correct and I lean more toward aspergers, as it shows quite differently in girls than boys. But either way, she is very defiant and mad a lot of the time. It is very hard for me, because I worry it stems from her biological father and issues there, but we are working on those things as best we can.
I love that kid more than anything, but it is so tough to get yelled at by a kid so often especially when we know how sweet she can be.
Re: If you have a child with ODD...
Oh, Katie :hugs:. Thanks for the reply. That helps a TON!
Where he DOES show some of those behaviors, I don't think they're to the extreme of ODD.
He is hard to wake up and the morning routine is a HUGE struggle (the number one reason I want to homeschool!). He is quick to get angry and will argue. He DOES have to go to his room to calm down. He is volatile with his brother.
However... he's not openly defiant to me or other adults, he completes his chores when asked and LOVES to please/be a helper, he's not obsessed with getting things and his reaction when told no, in my opinion, is age-appropriate.
DH thinks we may be dealing with ODD... *I* think we're dealing with a 5 year old who has some BIG changes going on at home and needs some extra loving and guidance right now. So, yes, that DID help. I want to be able to compare with DH what is normal behavior for a kid who is struggling vs. a kid with a pretty significant special need.
ETA: Katie, or any other ODD mamas, did you struggle with PLing? Mostly voiding in defiance and/or purposeful bedwetting?
Re: If you have a child with ODD...
My oldest was diagnosed ADHD and ODD at the age of 8, I think? We never felt comfortable with that diagnosis, it didn't seem to fit to me. This past year he was diagnosed with aspergers, ADHD, and anxiety. Makes perfect sense to us.
Anyway, he does get angry, and melts down. He can't handle unexpected schedule changes, or when things don't go his way. He doesn't transition well, mornings are awful (getting out the door). He is explosive, but IMO has never been defiant. He melts down when things get to be too much... I can see the triggers now. Not sure any of this helps you...
Everything is just no. It's exactly as is sounds - defiant to the nth degree. Ds was dx at 6 - the psychologist was pretty certain after the 15 minute "staredown" after asking him to do something specific and ds was NOTNOTNOT having it.
I kinda feel badly now, but I was thrilled that he did it to someone else and I wasn't that "crazy mom" everyone thought I was. He is wonderfully charming and sweet and giving.... to everyone else! lol
As he's gotten older, I don't think he's changed so much as our parenting has. We cannot rush him or life is officially over for the day. We cannot pull him from one activity to do something else (can you pause your show to -insert chore-?) without an epic meltdown. It's a slower pace but it works for him.
Everything we say or ask has to be challenged to some extent. Everything is someone's else's fault. If the focus is not on him and how spectacularly awesome HE is, he needs to try and ruin it. We had this today at his brother's hockey tournament. He was a miserable wretch because his ipod died and I would not drive him 45 mins home or drive to walmart for a charger- and of course it was Dad's fault it died cause he didn't remind a 12 year old to plug it in last night. lol The reasoning is that since he is now bored, we all need to suffer.
I make him do a lot of googling and reading. I will NOT argue with him. If he argues (and only if I know I'm right) I tell him to look it up and get back to me. ;)
Sorry- that was long. It's been one of "those" days. I'm so glad I'm at work! :giggle:
Any errors are my phone's fault. It hates me.
Have you talked with your doctor about the concerns?
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