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-   -   More OB help- so stressed out! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1364280)

CutiePatootiesMama 03-08-2012 03:20 PM

More OB help- so stressed out!
 
I know I have posted a lot about my ob dilemma, but I still feel so stuck! Here is the story....

This practice has 9 doctors and 1 midwife (who is not allowed to deliver). I am 28 weeks and have seen 4 of the doctors. The wait time is generally 15-45 minutes plus another 10-15min spent waiting in the exam room for the doctor. I am usually seen for about 3 min by the nurse and another 3-4 minutes by the doctor.

At first I was pretty happy with the practice, but then started noticing their blog posts on their website. Nothing that is a huge deal, but a few things that stood out to me for example : they stated that they are "not afraid of using pitocin" (which is fine when necessary but I get the idea that interventions will be pushed) and that although some people are concerned about newborn circumcision there is really no valid reason to be, so they will still proudly perform newborn circumcision (not making any statements about my feelings on circ, it just seemed that they were belittling people who were concerned). Also, at my first appt the nurse asked if I had an epidural with dd1 and when I answered yes she said "that's the only way to go!". They also asked me to wean dd1 from breastfeeding. Anyway, I put all this together and decided that if I want a natural, intervention free birth, this might not be the place for me.

At 23 weeks I contacted a birth center. I decided to be put on their waiting list. To be put on the waiting list, I had to have my records sent to them. I used the record transfer request form provided by the birth center (what they instructed me to use), which I found out was a mistake and I should have just asked for copies of my records. Anyway, that misunderstanding on my part led to my ob office closing my account and filing with my insurance company saying that I had left the practice. When I came in for my next appt they informed me of this. I explained to them what I meant to do, and they were a little bit short about it which made me feel more uncomfortable with the practice.

Today I went in for my 28 week appt. When I got to the nurse's station she couldn't find some of the papers that were supposed to be in my chart and asked me where my yellow sheets were (??!). I told her I didn't know, but maybe since I had given them a record transfer request it had something to do with that. She replied with "Ohhh, so you SAID you were leaving and closed your account and THEN decided to come back?". I told her it was a little bit confusing and that was not what I meant to do, but it was essentially what ended up happening. She said "oh" and started filling out more paperwork. I apologized, told her that it was a mistake on my end, and that what I really meant to do was have a copy of my records sent somewhere, but I requested the wrong thing. She answered "Or maybe it's because YOU SAID you weren't coming here anymore and then you decided to come back!". I was kind of taken aback by that comment and pretty much stopped talking. She led me to the exam room where I met a new doctor who was very brief and didn't mention a word about the record transfer confusion (which is fine, but it has been such a big deal to the nurses and receptionists, I thought the doctors might have heard about it too by this point).

So anyway, all of this may not seem like a big deal, but I am completely uncomfortable delivering here now. I already felt like the doctors didn't have time for me, and now with the transfer confusion I feel like I'm going to get "yelled" at about it every time I come in. I think that there is probably not much chance that I will get into the birth center since someone would have to leave for me to get in, and this late (I'm due in May) it is not likely that someone would leave.

I am tempted to try to find another OB, but how am I supposed to be sure that I won't end up in another predicament like this one. Or, what if I do switch to a new OB and then get into the birth center?
Should I call the birth center and let them know what's going on and ask what they think my chances are? Should I stick it out with my current OB? Should I switch to a new one? I don't want to dread my delivery, and I really feel like if deliver with my current OB I'll just end up getting an epidural and not having the birth experience that I want because they're going to make me feel stupid for wanting something different.

HeatherlovesCDs 03-09-2012 11:31 AM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
I'd switch if I was that uncomfortable. Start asking around to friends or family or researching online. You can make an appt and have your records transferred after you actually meet the new practice. That way you don't accidentally transfer before really wanting to transfer again. I think you are right that your chances of getting in with the birth center are low. I'd assume that you aren't going to get in and if that happens, great, then cross that bridge when you come to it.

Good luck with your decision. :hugs:

magdalynaa 03-09-2012 11:39 AM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
The advice I got here for similar problems with my OB, which I think was good advice, was to find a new provider if you're that uncomfortable. My new OB's philosophy is a lot more in line with mine, and I'm glad I switched.

z2akids 03-09-2012 01:59 PM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
Certainly you should not stay with a provider that you don't trust.

But, I wouldn't worry about your previous transfer request issue becoming a problem with the doctors. I think it is likely that in a practice that large the doctors don't even know about the issue.

shortcake2386 03-09-2012 02:04 PM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by z2akids (Post 14777920)
Certainly you should not stay with a provider that you don't trust.

But, I wouldn't worry about your previous transfer request issue becoming a problem with the doctors. I think it is likely that in a practice that large the doctors don't even know about the issue.

:yeahthat: fwiw i was dropped from an ob practice bc my insurance refused to cover my daughter's 20 week stillbirth(said they didnt cover abortions???) and we kept appealing. the financial department of the big(9 location) practice dropped me without even consulting my dr. she didnt know until i called the nurse to find out what was up. so i doubt the doctors even know. and by next week the office people wont even remember it was you:2cents:
but that is weird that they "dropped" you just bc someone else requested your records.

mommypockets 03-09-2012 05:38 PM

I switched obs at 41+ weeks! If u r uncomfortable, leave.

CutiePatootiesMama 03-09-2012 06:41 PM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
Thanks everyone, I guess switching would be my best bet. Now the problem is finding an OB that I would be happy with. From what I can tell the experience is not going to vary much with the OBs around me. I'm going to ask around at church on Sunday. I was also thinking of driving out to the birth center on Monday. They have a cloth diaper store connected to the birth center so I could shop a little bit and then head over to the office and ask them 1) what the wait list looks like and if there's any hope of me getting in and 2) if not, are there an OBs that they would recommend. Would that be weird?
When I talked to the midwife who owns the birth center she made it sound like I had a good chance of getting in, but since that day no one else has said anything except "you're on the wait list". The mw who owns the practice said that she had been saving a spot for a woman who never came back, so while I was standing there she crossed that woman's name off and put mine in and told me to get my records to her asap (I did. I got them to her the next day) so I'd like a little more info on what's really going on.

tygr2410 03-09-2012 07:11 PM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CutiePatootiesMama (Post 14779351)
then head over to the office and ask them 1) what the wait list looks like and if there's any hope of me getting in and 2) if not, are there an OBs that they would recommend. Would that be weird?

no, that sounds like the best option:thumbsup: surely they have a few favs that they refer patients to who no longer can be treated there

HeatherlovesCDs 03-10-2012 06:32 AM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
Asking the MW is the best plan yet! Definitely do that. I'm sure they have OB's the refer to when they need to and for people they can't get in. Good plan! :thumbsup:

CutiePatootiesMama 03-10-2012 09:21 AM

Re: More OB help- so stressed out!
 
Oh, good! Thanks! Asking the MW seemed like a good option to me but I didn't want them to think I was crazy. Lol!


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