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2+2macht4 03-09-2012 02:39 AM

I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
but I am.

I had a horrible birth last time that ended in emergency c section. I am terrified of birting and the idea of vbac.

I am equally terrified of having a repeat c section in a country that gives you ibuprofen post op and does not use pain meds. I do not even know if it is an option, my last obgyn said if I wanted another c section I would have to pay out of pocket as it would be elective not needed.

I am not happy to be pregnant. I am scared. I did not even know if I wanted to have more kids after DS and I am terrified of spending my whole pregnancy in fear.:cry:

DalesWidda 03-09-2012 03:18 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
What happened during your first labor? What was the reason for your c-section? I had a c-section with my first. I hated it, they put me under general because they couldn't get the epidural in. It was awful. I educated myself on the pros and cons of a VBAC and I am soooo happy I did. I can answer any questions you might have? What scares you about a VBAC?

DalesWidda 03-09-2012 03:19 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
wait,,,,are you pregnant? I am trying to decipher your post, LOL!

2+2macht4 03-09-2012 03:26 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
Hey, yes I am pregnant. About 5 and a half week, due in November.

I do not know exactly what happened last time, my new obgyn has requested my medical records to look over the chain of events.

Short version is my water broke, then said I was not progressing fast enough then induced, I got to 4cm got an epidural and then they slammed me with more induction meds. I ended up havinga full blown panic attack screaming how terrified I was and for someone to help me, they cgave me valium to shut me up, said I was to weak and would geta n elective c section when the doc had time, gave meds to stop contractions and when they finally started doing surgical prep like shaving they chcked me and my cervix was swollen shut and I was in the op with the head surgeon out of bed less then 20 minutes later. The epidermal did not work and I was put under general anesthesia.

I am scared of having a panic attack again and not being able to deliver. I am scared of the pain of delivery. I am scared of once again being in delivery and being scared and feeling like no one is listening when I say something is wrong. I am even more scared about vbac with the risk of uterine rupture.

EskimoStitches 03-09-2012 03:31 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
It sounds like you could really use the help of a doula, there are a lot of people in training that do births for free. I am not at all trying to suggest that your experience was not horrible, but maybe having someone else there for you to focus on and calm you might help things work out differently. Panic attacks can kick anybody down and when you are already having so many hormone changes as one does during labor, I just cannot even imagine.

2+2macht4 03-09-2012 03:35 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
I am overseas, doulas are not common here, I only found 2 doula in all of germany on the german website :(

Midwives are the norm here. My last midwife was satan incarant

EskimoStitches 03-09-2012 03:36 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
Ugh. That really sucks. Is it at all a possibility to "go home" to have your baby?

2+2macht4 03-09-2012 03:38 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
No, I am a permanent resident in Germany in the German healthcare system. I dont have healthcare in the US.

DalesWidda 03-09-2012 03:42 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
oh my goodness, how frightening. You definately need the support of a much more caring midwife or OB. How is the general attitude for VBACs in Germany? I know you said that having a c-section again would be out of pocket for you so I'm hoping that there is more support for VBACs available. Just remember every pregnancy is different. My first one was a failed induction too. The doctor broke my water at only one cm! I had no idea at the time that what she had done was just pure stupidity and laziness. She wanted me to get that baby out before dinnertime, lol. Anyways, yes it was scary the first time but the second time around I armed myself with information and I got a doula and I had the birth I wanted the first time around. But you are in Germany and I've seen you post on how the general disposition and attitudes are different with Germans, so I don't know what kind of advice to give you other than find a caregiver you can fully trust. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's scary when you lose control of a situation and that's how I truly felt during my first pregnancy.

EskimoStitches 03-09-2012 03:43 AM

Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified
Ah. do you have choices in your providers? I really don't know how things work over there but I would confide in your current dr and be ready and willing to change if you don't feel they can meet your needs, which go a lot farther than just taking care of your pregnancy. Be completely ready with a written birth plan and I'd present it before you roll up in labor and ask your husband to support your plan and fight for you so you don't have to. Maybe consider some meditation or hypno type of pain management and don't be afraid to say, "This is my labor, my body and my baby. This is going to go my way and that's the end of it." Some Drs will take that and let you do what you need to do. Some, might not. I had issues with one nurse in all of my pregnancies and deliveries but no other medical personnel gave me any issues. I was very clear in telling them that I'd tell them what I needed and when I needed it and I'd not stand in the way of their monitoring if they didn't stand in the way of my needing to do what I needed. Now, I have never had a section so that is something I cannot speak of but if you are fighting for a vbac, you just gotta grab yourself by the scruff of your own neck and say, "I want this and I'm going to fight for it." If you have a great DR, you wont have to fight hard.

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