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-   -   Backtalking preschoolers... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1382509)

mrseum 04-19-2012 05:50 AM

Backtalking preschoolers...
 
How do you deal with it? Ds1 will throw me "don't worry about that, it's ok, don't tell me that, I'm not going to" ect ect... And I I try to talk to him about it just gets worse. I'm so fed up with him I want to check out more than half the time; which obviously doesn't help the issue! I have no clue how to address the issues!

alsatia23 04-19-2012 06:42 AM

Re: Backtalking preschoolers...
 
I'm in the same boat, my 4 year old is quite mouthy. I'll be watching this thread for responses.

mrseum 04-19-2012 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alsatia23
I'm in the same boat, my 4 year old is quite mouthy. I'll be watching this thread for responses.

Haha, mine will be 3 on the 28th!! It's so
Outta control, I'm at such a loss :/ kids need to come with manuals!

doodah 04-19-2012 07:00 AM

Re: Backtalking preschoolers...
 
I tell kids that I dont talk to people that dont speak kindly to me (thats my kids and my daycare kids). Then I ignore them until they can rephrase what they want in a kinder way. Even if they don't want something, like something "yucky" at meal time, I dont do a thing for them until they can calm down and say "no thank you" in a polite way and not "that stuff smells like poopy and I dont want it!". The main thing is to stay calm, make sure they have the words and role-modeling for appropriate behavior and then make sure they get absolutely nothing for the back talk. Trying to talk to him more, convince and cajole is just feeding attention into a scenario where he should be getting no attention for that behavior. Its not about checking out, but calming ignoring the bad behavior and re-enforcing the good behavior.

danielle 04-19-2012 07:02 AM

:popcorn:

My daughter strikes the classic arms folded NO pose and turns away from me lately. I confess I want to throttle her. I don't actually do it but grrr. As if I don't have enough to do.

doodah 04-19-2012 07:06 AM

Re: Backtalking preschoolers...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by danner (Post 14971194)
:popcorn:

My daughter strikes the classic arms folded NO pose and turns away from me lately. I confess I want to throttle her. I don't actually do it but grrr. As if I don't have enough to do.

See in this case, I would say "Okay, you can be upset but you still arent going to get what you want be being unkind. Let me know when you are ready to use kind words"....then walk away.

pcjs 04-19-2012 07:29 AM

Re: Backtalking preschoolers...
 
I'm sorry, but I have to giggle as read what you wrote. We just have to laugh at some of the stuff our son does as he thinks he is so cleaver and then we realize he's copying us. (then we realize we have to change what ever it is) He's a bright kid and just copying someone. "Its ok" "Don't worry about that" - do those things sound like something you would say. Try changing what you say and he'll copy the new stuff.

If you find the manual, can you send a copy our way.

my2sweets 04-19-2012 07:41 AM

I say 'excuse you'. I have dropped the try that again part as it is understood now and 9x's out of 10 will rephrase it. If they start to baketalk after i tell them to do something i cut them off and say 'dont agrue. Do what youre told.' The 4.5yr old will continue to talk sometimes. So i'll say 'it doesnt matter' 'youre agruing' 'go' ect. I use to think i needed to hear them out, hear their side to make sure they knew i cared, ect then someone on here pointed out that that only encourages the backtalking! It was a light bulb moment for me. They know i care! and they dont need to be sassy me. When i say jump they need to jump b/c Im the mom and diserve the respect. I also look at it as a job skill. If their boss tells them to mop/take out the trash/talk to the mean client/ect telling him all the reasons they 'cant' will probably get them fired. And as for knocking the food I cook....'thats gross!' 'its nasty!' gets your plate removed! I gave dd2 1 'that hurts my feelings. I worked hard for that and you havent even tried it. 1bite then you can say no thankyou if you dont like it' The 2nd time she got 'thats rude. How do you know?! Say that again and i wont let! you eat it. Say no thank you!' 3rd time i cleared her plate and told her since she was done to go get jammers on. Watch out biggest.fit.ever! I did let her eat a single banana before bed-after she got on jammers, calmed down and apologized- but now if she doesnt want anything she says 'no thank you'

paper_girl_76 04-19-2012 08:34 AM

Re: Backtalking preschoolers...
 
I will just ignore it. Mostly what mine are doing is looking for attention so I refuse to even acknowledge it when they start acting like that. It seriously frustrates dh to see me "letting them disrespect me" but I guess I see it differently than he does...

ETA: I just realized you were talking about younger kids...mine are older, I never really had a problem with my kids until they were 5-6 or so, but I agree with doodah"s posts.


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