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-   -   Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1386199)

Designsbybequi 04-27-2012 01:30 AM

Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
I need some major advice here. My fully potty trained 3 1/2 year old has started peeing 1-3 times a day as if she's wearing a diaper! My husband and I argue a little about what to do and it's very frustrating. She crawled into bed with us this morning and peed on him so he's a little peturbed. I'm just really confused and want to know why and we need a solution quickly. Here are some details and I would love any tips!
It's been happening for about two weeks. I'm close to 8 months pregnant and have been suffering with a uti lately. She is my stronger willed child, not at all a people pleaser like her older sister so the strategy has to be different here. She potty trained on jelly beans and after a month, I told her she was old enough to just use the potty without candy and seems some regression started then. Cavities are an issue so I don't like candy incentive and she's old enough now! We moved in February and she regressed some then but was fully trained again in March. She doesn't seem to have a uti bc she holds it for hours and doesn't complain of pain. She poos on the pot, the problem is the pee. When she goes in the house, I have talks with her about what needs to happen and have her sit on the toilet for awhile. I read you don't want to associate negative consequences to 'accidents' but I'm not so sure these are accidents. She just doesn't seem to care. The hubby thinks we should provide negative consequences now but I want to exhaust all positive reinforcement ideas before doing that?? I just know I need to fix this problem soon! Thanks for any help!

tallanvor 04-27-2012 06:56 AM

Re: Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
Sounds to me like there's just a lot of change going on and she's reacting to that. I think the best way to deal with it is to either just keep cleaning, or to give her the option of going back into diapers.

If you don't already, you could also try having her clean up the messes (even if you have to reclean). I have heard some parents that said that was harsh, but I fail to see what's harsh in it.

GreenHome Sewing 04-27-2012 07:16 AM

Re: Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
I know this isn't optimistic, but my five year olds does similar. He is a spiteful peer most of the time, but I find it everywhere.he finally stopped wetting his bed, but gets up every morning and Pees in the living room instead.
I will be thread stalking.

Janet4 04-27-2012 08:12 AM

Re: Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
I don't have any advice. I'm now potty training my 4th child. I've read & believe that you can't force a child to go on the potty. Only that child is in control of their bodily functions. If the child perceives a power struggle, he/she will always win. I've also read that sometimes regression is passive/aggressive behavior. The child is too young to recognize it as such. What they really need is to know that you love them anyway (tough sometimes). So, whether it's regression b/c of changes or any of the above reasons; one of the worst things you can do is get angry, make them feel guilty, etc...those reactions will only continue the cycle. I think you're right on with the positive reinforcements.

I wish I had some practical advice for you. I know cleaning up messes is VERY tiring & frustrating. If she's willing to wear training pants or dipes again, maybe use those for a time? My 3rd child wet the bed for years, & my dh would get frustrated. He thought that making her feel guilty would somehow encourage her to learn how to hold it overnight. I tried really hard to NOT make her feel guilty, but I DID have her help me strip & wash her bedding when needed. I explained that when we make a mess, we clean it up. The was not a punishment, just something that needed doing.

Hang in there!! It will get better!

Designsbybequi 04-28-2012 05:01 PM

I thought maybe it was a sign she needed attention so I made a poster and she now gets a ton of praise and a sticker when she uses the potty. I told her when she doesn't have an accident for seven days I'll buy her a Lalaloopsy doll. I put a picture of the doll on the poster. When she's in the bathroom I try to be there the whole time. She had one 'accident' today when I was putting the youngest to sleep!! But seems to be doing better though or at least happier. I think only time will tell if the increased attention in this department will help. I made her clean up the accident today too which was new. We are on day 2 of the new approach. Keep the ideas coming though!! I'm just still so confused as to why she was fully trained- even night trained- to this??? That's why I'm thinking with me being pregnant and sick and her being the middle child- she may be getting left out a little or feeling that way? I homeschool the oldest and she has expressed she wishes she homeschooled too. She may be feeling left out. I'm glad we are having a fourth so she can share middle position!!

EmilytheStrange 04-28-2012 08:26 PM

Re: Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
Everything I've read (in books, not on internet forums), says to make them clean it up.

You can also get her pretty panties that she can wear in the morning. If she pees in them, she gets drab white panties as a replacement. The books say to throw away the 'accident' panties, but I don't know if I'd do that for pee - definitely for poop.

She has been going through a ton of changes and she's about to go through a ton more with the new baby on the way. So, I'd give her a ton of slack.

I wouldn't give any negative consequences for the peeing because you'll make it a power struggle and lose. But there does need to be a neutral consequence. She cleans it up, she wears ugly panties, etc.

The chart you're doing is another idea I've seen in a lot of books and I hope it works for you. Make sure you don't give in if she misses a day. Start the whole week over. Really make her understand that girls who pee in their pants don't get prizes.

Designsbybequi 04-30-2012 08:16 AM

Day three- no accidents!!! Yeah, and so far on day four- no accidents either. She even went on her own once without me. I try to be there everytime this week to get her back on track. I just hope this sticks for next week!!

Janet4 04-30-2012 08:56 AM

Re: Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
Great to hear good things happening!! Keep hanging in there:)

beautifulboyz 05-01-2012 07:15 PM

Re: Why is my 3 1/2 year old peeing all over the house?! Help!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Designsbybequi (Post 15018927)
I thought maybe it was a sign she needed attention so I made a poster and she now gets a ton of praise and a sticker when she uses the potty. I told her when she doesn't have an accident for seven days I'll buy her a Lalaloopsy doll. I put a picture of the doll on the poster. When she's in the bathroom I try to be there the whole time. She had one 'accident' today when I was putting the youngest to sleep!! But seems to be doing better though or at least happier. I think only time will tell if the increased attention in this department will help. I made her clean up the accident today too which was new. We are on day 2 of the new approach. Keep the ideas coming though!! I'm just still so confused as to why she was fully trained- even night trained- to this??? That's why I'm thinking with me being pregnant and sick and her being the middle child- she may be getting left out a little or feeling that way? I homeschool the oldest and she has expressed she wishes she homeschooled too. She may be feeling left out. I'm glad we are having a fourth so she can share middle position!!

That was my first reaction, that she was seeking attention in some way. Way to go mama!

Designsbybequi 05-01-2012 11:13 PM

Huge bummer today. We had a couple more hours left of sunshine so I told the kids to turn off the tv and go outside to play. My dd2 didn't want to and threw a fit so I let her stay inside while I took the other 2 outside. When I came in to check on her she had peed on a non washable chair, the carpet in that room then ran peeing into her bedroom peeing on three rugs on the way and the carpet in her bedroom. One rug was brand new! Honestly, I threw away her sticker poster and cried for about an hour. I'm going through too much right now to deal with this. I only cleaned up half the mess today and will do the other half tomorrow. Then my husband and I got in a huge fight about a ton of other things right then and still haven't made up. I didn't even want to go outside because I'm feeling so sick but felt they needed fresh air. I'm still so bummed and don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I just feel nothing will work and there's pee everywhere. I just went and threw away our large area rug that she peed on 5 days ago and the smell is still there. That was another huge bummer. For any Christian moms out there, we all need major prayer.


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