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-   -   How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1388548)

donnyandmelissa 05-02-2012 10:34 AM

How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
Or is it okay to let him cry now. For the past few days if my 9 month old son doesn't get his way he starts slapping things or us and if he is near the floor he will throw himself down and scream...

For right now we haven't taught him share. We thought we would wait until 1 because he is SOOO strong willed. My daughter who is now 4 LOVED LOVED LOVED to share starting at like 6 months we would say share and she would hand stuff to us. He is so different. And I understand that.

But I don't want to let him get away with murder. Some things are dangerous, off limits, etc.

qsefthuko 05-02-2012 10:43 AM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
Both of my boys have been and are very strong willed. I remember my first son at 6m. He couldn't reach something so he did a deep throated scream/growl and beat his little fists on the floor. I try if at all possible to redirect them. When this doesn't work I will simply pick them up and try to comfort nurse to calm them down. Recently I held my 10 month old in a 50 second time out because he wouldn't leave the outlets alone. The more I tried to redirect him the angrier he became. He also refused to be comforted with me holding him or nursing. After the time out he settled down to nurse and then was willing to be redirected to his toys. He seems even more strong willed than his older brother.

pcjs 05-02-2012 10:44 AM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
At that age, I just said no very firmly and put him in his PNP or crib (usually the PNP). If he's on the floor with a screaming tantrum, I just left him (still do) or move him somewhere safer.

qsefthuko 05-02-2012 10:47 AM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
I also wanted to add the more strong willed my child the more sensitive to disaproval they seem to be as they get older. As my older son became old enough to understand I often just had to remove them from the situation and give him a stern look and say very dissaprovingly and firmly THATS. NOT. NICE. when he would do something naughty. Then I would walk away. This was around 3-4 years of age. Until then a time out to regroup and reflect on better behaviour seemed to work best. Spankings only seemed to antagonise both of my older children. So I don't recommend them. Especially for strong willed children.

kelpie169 05-02-2012 10:49 AM

If mine throw themselves down then they stay there and we move away. We let them have their tantrum and when they calm down we talk to them calmly about why they were upset. The latest is that my 15 month old is trying to refuse to sleep and nap. He throws himself down on the bed and screams. I just wait it out. There is a point where I know he'll start to nurse and then hell go to sleep. My 3 year old on the other hand, if he starts hitting or biting or acting aggressive he goes int the crib for his time out. Neither or mine really started tantrums until they were over 1 though. Generally if there's aggression there's time out. If they're just upset or frustrated or tired, we just leave them be. They can snap out of it much more quickly.

We tried the holding to comfort thing but since they're both VERY strog and I'm pregnant, that stopped fast with their kicking y stomach.

doodah 05-02-2012 10:51 AM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
I would remove him from the situation (but not necessarily isolate him or anything) and just let him be upset and cry. No attention for mini-baby tantrums. I dont force kids to share, they do it on their own when it is modeled repeatedly for them. However, I wouldnt allow taking from others or slapping. If they are upset and want to cry and roll all over the floor, thats okay. I just go about my way, step around them and they learn pretty quickly that tantrums dont get any attention around here. Right now I have 5 under 5 here all day and we rarely have any full blown tantrums from any of them. The youngest is 11 months and she tried a few but it just doesnt pay off in this household.

ikitakunai 05-02-2012 11:30 AM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
The only thing I would put a crying baby down for a minute alone at that age would be a bite while nursing. If the "tantrum" (which is really the only way he can communicate) is about something unsafe, etc. I would remove the situation, not the baby. My 6mo will fuss a little to indicate she wants to play with my camera, eat my food, chew brother's papers...I just say, "oops, that's not safe for baby, let's put it away," and move her on to something else. If it was something like crawling to an outlet, I would either be on the floor helping her or realize it was time to change activities.

so I wouldn't let him cry, I would comfort and provide appropriate activities, he's too young to make those choices (2yo still have limited impulse control, constant no's won't work).

JennTheMomma 05-02-2012 01:14 PM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
A tantrum is not the same thing as CIO. CIO is for sleep training (which I'm against by the way). A tantrum is emotions coming out without having the words to express themselves. When my kids have a trantum I let them know that I'm there for them and then I let them have it. I don't make them go to their room or anything, they can have it wherever they need to.

JennTheMomma 05-02-2012 01:14 PM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
A tantrum is not the same thing as CIO. CIO is for sleep training (which I'm against by the way). A tantrum is emotions coming out without having the words to express themselves. When my kids have a trantum I let them know that I'm there for them and then I let them have it. I don't make them go to their room or anything, they can have it wherever they need to.

EmilytheStrange 05-02-2012 02:14 PM

Re: How do you handle tantrums at 9 months old? Especially if you don't do CIO?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by doodah (Post 15037214)
I would remove him from the situation (but not necessarily isolate him or anything) and just let him be upset and cry. No attention for mini-baby tantrums. I dont force kids to share, they do it on their own when it is modeled repeatedly for them. However, I wouldnt allow taking from others or slapping. If they are upset and want to cry and roll all over the floor, thats okay. I just go about my way, step around them and they learn pretty quickly that tantrums dont get any attention around here. Right now I have 5 under 5 here all day and we rarely have any full blown tantrums from any of them. The youngest is 11 months and she tried a few but it just doesnt pay off in this household.

this.

the younger they understand that tantrums don't get them what they want, the better. I like redirection, sometimes. But redirection doesn't exactly teach them anything, so it just depends on the circumstances. You want to play with my phone? ooh.. look at this shiney whatever. Okay.

But tantrums? No.. they need to learn very young that tantrums do not get them shiney toys, etc.


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