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-   -   Parenting the 5 year old attitude *update in op* (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1396866)

maddys_mama 05-21-2012 04:02 PM

Parenting the 5 year old attitude *update in op*
 
I'm about to lose my mind :banghead: Dd is good about 75% of the time.....but that 25% of the time when she's not? She's AWFUL. I mean, really really really bad. I don't even know where this is coming from. Her whole attitude has shifted in the past 2 weeks. She certainly wasn't anything close to an angel before but this is just ridiculous. She's rude, she's openly defiant, she screams at the top of her lungs at me, she tries to hit/slap/kick me (she has NEVER been a hitter. EVER.) She only does this at home but she also does it to dh (minus the physical aspect of it.) I kept her home from her preschool class field trip on Friday because her behavior was THAT horrific that morning. 45 minutes of screaming like she was being beaten, trying to slap me whenever I tried to talk to her, throwing (soft) things at me, hitting/kicking her door and walls, etc. I recorded a bit of it and sent it to my mom. She was astounded and had no advice for me (besides telling me to look up oppositional defiant disorder, which she doesn't seem to meet the symptoms of.) When she finally calmed down, I told her she wasn't allowed to touch me for the rest of the day. That upset her, but I explained to her that I don't like when she hits me and because I don't know when she's going to hit me, she can't touch me at all. She did fine for the rest of the day....and then picked up where she left off the next day.

I'm at a total loss. She's had two huge changes recently (moved cross country in March, started preschool in April) but nothing that closely coincided with this change. She can have a horrible awful 30-60 minute long fit....and then be a perfect angel for the rest of the day. Dealing with her is exhausting and I'm starting to see my almost 2 year old mimicking some of her behaviors. We follow through with our threats to take things away and we try our best to praise her good behavior. I do not spank her...mainly because spanking her during these fits would be out of anger and I'm not okay with that. She gets put in her room when she's throwing these fits....but then I just spend the whole time putting her BACK in her room. She can scale baby gates so that's not an option to try to keep her contained.

I don't think it's nap related (as in she needs one) because there doesn't seem to be any specific time she's doing this. I actually tried getting her to take naps last week to see if it helped any and it didn't. And there's been no change in her diet, so that's not the culprit either.

Does anyone have advice? I seriously don't know what to do with her :cry:


Update! I brought her to her doctor today and he took my concerns seriously. He said she's absolutely showing signs of oppositional defiant but it's hard to say at this point if it's temporary and related to the move or if it's the beginning of something long term. I'm keeping a log of when she eats/when she throws fits to see if there's a correlation. He gave me the name of a few counselors to bring her to but I'm not sure how to decide. Of the three he gave me, two are in our insurance network. One is a marriage/family counselor and one is a mental health counselor/social worker. Is it safe to assume the family counselor might have more experience with young kids?

monkeymama07 05-22-2012 11:52 AM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
I could have wrote this right down to in november we moved 275 miles....ugh .... Liam was born 10/07 also and we are there :/

Hes really a good kid but when hes bad he is AWFUL.

lots of hugs and one on one time seem to help I think he tends to feel he needs to compete with everyone/everything for attention.

KdEMomma 05-22-2012 12:07 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
Does she seem to really regret her behavior or seem upset by being so mad or aggressive? Or is she exhausted after she calms down?

maddys_mama 05-22-2012 12:40 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeymama07 (Post 15133392)
I could have wrote this right down to in november we moved 275 miles....ugh .... Liam was born 10/07 also and we are there :/

Hes really a good kid but when hes bad he is AWFUL.

lots of hugs and one on one time seem to help I think he tends to feel he needs to compete with everyone/everything for attention.

:bighug: I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with it, but I'm sorry you're having the same issue. It's so ridiculously frustrating!



Quote:

Originally Posted by KdEMomma (Post 15133464)
Does she seem to really regret her behavior or seem upset by being so mad or aggressive? Or is she exhausted after she calms down?

She doesn't seem to really regret it nor is she very upset about her fit. She's more upset about whatever was taken away because of the fit. She'll apologize but it sometimes feels more like she feels she has to, not because she actually means it. She IS usually exhausted though. I'm beginning to wonder if the only reason she eventually calms down is because she's so exhausted.

I caught her trying to spank her brother twice yesterday. The second time was not even 5 minutes after I spoke with her about how we do not hit others (which was right after the first incident.) She just didn't care. She said ds wasn't listening and that's why she spanked him. We do not spank in this house. I don't know where that behavior came from. She claims she "learned it" but can't tell me where.


I mentioned the issues at home to her teacher. She assured me she hasn't seen any of this behavior at school. Dd's behavior at school hasn't changed at all. Apparently, she's very patient and easy going at school! She is going to talk to the other teacher in the classroom though. She's concerned that perhaps this frustration is stemming from school and both teachers will keep an eye on her and see if there's something bothering her there that she's not expressing.

KdEMomma 05-22-2012 12:52 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
Hmm...I was asking because I thought maybe blood sugar issue. Sounds kinda like what I went through but I would always be so upset with myself (regretful) that I would break down and cry. Just a real emotional rollercoaster, then I'd be exhausted. Something to keep in mind. She doesn't have to eat a lot of 'sugar' for it to be an issue, natural (fruit) sugar sometimes caused me to go a little crazy too.

maddys_mama 05-22-2012 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KdEMomma
Hmm...I was asking because I thought maybe blood sugar issue. Sounds kinda like what I went through but I would always be so upset with myself (regretful) that I would break down and cry. Just a real emotional rollercoaster, then I'd be exhausted. Something to keep in mind. She doesn't have to eat a lot of 'sugar' for it to be an issue, natural (fruit) sugar sometimes caused me to go a little crazy too.

Hm I hadn't thought about that! She eats a lot of fruit, mainly apples, bananas, strawberries, and oranges. Would those possibly cause an issue?

luvsviola 05-22-2012 01:00 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
We're having these issues too. DD turned 5 in January. OMG we are going to kill her. Time outs don't work. Praise doesn't work. We are a spanking family, but it isn't working either. We are so frustrated!

KdEMomma 05-22-2012 02:14 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
It's something to maybe monitor, make sure that she had plenty of protein to go with the sugar. Cheese, pb, whatever to try and even out the sugar intake. Low/high blood sugar and make you do crazy stuff. Good luck!

KdEMomma 05-22-2012 02:18 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
FYI These fruits have the most sugar in them: Melons, grapes, strawberries (if they aren't from the grocery, those most of the taste/sugar has been breed out of them), and apples. Bananas and oranges not so much.

percussionsmith 05-22-2012 02:25 PM

Re: Parenting the 5 year old attitude
 
Rewards for when she is good. Lots of "journaling" in the forms of her drawing and then telling you about it. Lots of one on one/special time. Routines. Healthy eating.


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