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-   -   do you get alot of unwanted advice? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1413970)

cassie.sattler 07-01-2012 04:29 PM

do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
i never knew that when i became pregnant i would get so much advice from my family. most times i had already read up about it so everything they continue to say is old news to me. i am curious to know if they do this simply because my fiancÚ and i are both 20 and still young. what ever the case my lo is happy as a clam and a very calm content baby.

do you guys get alot of unwanted advice? if so how do you handle it? do you listen to them or do your own thing?

AniMommy 07-01-2012 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassie.sattler
i never knew that when i became pregnant i would get so much advice from my family. most times i had already read up about it so everything they continue to say is old news to me. i am curious to know if they do this simply because my fiancÚ and i are both 20 and still young. what ever the case my lo is happy as a clam and a very calm content baby.

do you guys get alot of unwanted advice? if so how do you handle it? do you listen to them or do your own thing?

It's every first time parent who gets advice. My favorite is get sleep now!

I listen with half an ear. If it's something really horrible, I smile and nod and change the subject.

happysmileylady 07-01-2012 04:41 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
Part of it is that you are first time parents and part of it is that giving advice is how people make conversation with parents. Parents like to talk about their kids and other folks commiserate, sympathize, give advice, and generally talk about their own kids in response, as part of the conversation. It's generally not something to take offense at.

qsefthuko 07-01-2012 05:05 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
All the time. I still get unwanted advice and I am 36 with 3 kids. Recently I was told I should bring my stroller as it would be less of a hassle than my sling. My stroller is a pain in the butt to bring with us. My sling is so easy to use and takes up no space as I just leave it on.

I am breastfeeding and was told I should just extract milk to feed when out and about instead of stopping to feed baby. Never mind I told them my lo doesn't know what to do with a bottle.

hellodebbie87 07-01-2012 05:45 PM

Yep, doesn't matter how old you are or how many kids you have, unwanted advice will always be readily available. ;) Just smile and nod, most of the time they're just trying to be helpful.

cassie.sattler 07-01-2012 05:51 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qsefthuko (Post 15336464)
All the time. I still get unwanted advice and I am 36 with 3 kids. Recently I was told I should bring my stroller as it would be less of a hassle than my sling. My stroller is a pain in the butt to bring with us. My sling is so easy to use and takes up no space as I just leave it on.

I am breastfeeding and was told I should just extract milk to feed when out and about instead of stopping to feed baby. Never mind I told them my lo doesn't know what to do with a bottle.

i hate when that happens. crunchy mamas dont stand a chance! the sling is soooo much nicer but we had to buy a stroller so if people babysat or took owen places they wouldnt have to "break their back" with a sling... so they got a gigantic stroller instead. my mom got my an "udder cover" and i have to wrestle it to the ground with my kid to try and cover everything so i decided to give it a proper burial in the donate bin.. if someone sees my nipple to damn bad!

Brooke789 07-01-2012 05:54 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
Not really. I nipped that in the bud with my mom. If she offered her 30 year old parenting advice I told her why it was wrong, outdated, etc. She stopped. :)

Luckily, my MIL never really offered any advice (she had a MIL who was always criticizing her...). So, never had to worry about her.

chandni3 07-01-2012 07:04 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
I actually like getting advice. I have gleaned some great advice on here. I take what I like and forget what I don't. I have to try hard to not give advice though. I"m always so eager to share things that have worked for me.

megenic 07-01-2012 07:33 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by chandni3 (Post 15337066)
I actually like getting advice. I have gleaned some great advice on here. I take what I like and forget what I don't. I have to try hard to not give advice though. I"m always so eager to share things that have worked for me.

Yes, this is a tough one for me as well! I`m a total know it all and hate to take advice but loooooooove to give it, LOL.

I think I must actually LOOK like a know it all, because people have rarely offered me advice on parenting. Either they think I won`t take it, or they`re afraid I`ll bite their heads off. :giggle2:

Aine 07-01-2012 07:37 PM

Re: do you get alot of unwanted advice?
 
here's what i think: if you're getting a lot of advice, then you're somehow not projecting the vibe/feeling of confidence--of mama-bear, don't-mess-with-me security in your choices. either you're looking for approval from those around you (subconsciously, perhaps), or you feel a bit unsure of/nervous about your choices deep down.

i used to get pushy, repeated advice about things i was really quite sure of, but i was rather timid and shy in general--so i must have come off as unsure and weak to others. i've noticed that it doesn't matter as much about being young or not-as-much, having one child or plenty--it's about your persona--how you interact/relate with the world.

if they bother you, don't be shy about telling them (politely!) that you've got it handled. then change the subject, and don't waver ;)


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