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-   Moms of Many or Multiples (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=181)
-   -   Whatever happened to "Congratulations"? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1427264)

*Hadassah* 08-02-2012 02:08 PM

Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
I'm happy to be expecting #5, and have just started telling people. I can't believe how thoughtless they can be, though thankfully nothing really cruel. Still, most of these people are from church... maybe I expected more from that crowd. I suppose it's gotten worse with the last few babies, but seriously:

"And you're happy about that?"
"Is [dh] ok with it?"
"Why???"
"Wow, so you'll have, what, 5!! now?"
"You need a TV"
etc. etc. etc.

I feel like I should be ashamed or something. The few people who've been genuinely happy for me are the ones who knew about the little one we lost last year. I'm still just as pregnant with a real baby as a woman having her first - why are #1 and #2 the only ones people can be at least polite about anymore?

They even say these things in front of my other children... it saddens me. I hate to think of all my husband is or will be hearing too...

ktmelody 08-02-2012 02:46 PM

Yup. I learned long ago that people just dont care. They just want to pry into your sex life and ask silly questions that an idiot could figure out.

So now I am open, and dont care what others think. I dont even plan on telling anyone next time. They wil figure it out on their own. I jut recently told everyone that i have no plans to stop having kids anytime soon and to lay off the ridiculous questions. Lol

Each child is a blessing worthy of celebrating. Congrats from me! 5 is so
Much fun. :)

m0mof6 08-02-2012 02:53 PM

Hugs. Even my mom was like that with #6 and she had 7 of us. :( what's funny is now we continually have people asking if/when we are having more and YDD is only 12 months old. :lol: at the moment we are not planning any more but you never know. The kids are asking for more :lol: esp. MDS.

3princesses+1 08-02-2012 02:54 PM

Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
I agree completely. I, too, am pregnant with #5 and the reactions are similar to yours. I think that people assume that once you have "your boy and girl", etc. that a person is "done". We had 3 girls in a row then a boy for #4 and people were like (and still are for that matter) "oh, you FINALLY got your boy" as if I wasn't happy with just my girls ro would have been disapointed with another girl. Unfortunately we live in a very selfish society...at least that's the only explanation I can come up with. If they are not the ones who will be paying for and raising the child(ren) why should they care how many we have! :)

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!! EVERY child is a blessing! :)

hollyecat 08-02-2012 02:56 PM

Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
Oh Mama... Congratulations!! I love that you're expanding your family and am sorry to hear that you have gotten so many negative or quizzical replies. I hope to have a large family and most people who find that out give me the same replies. It's just not socially "kosher" to have lots of children any more. It's unfortunate, and it's time that we begin correcting people for this thoughtless and inappropriate attitude toward women having lots of children.

I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy and healthy, precious LO! God Bless.

mommy24babes 08-02-2012 03:05 PM

I got so sick of the comments when pregnant with 3&4.
We were at a friends house warming and some idiot says " number 4? Don't you know what causes that?!"
I replies snarkily that " ya we're really good at it too"

Dh on the way home told me it sounded $/utty.
I burst into tears and took a good half hour to calm down.
He has never experienced the comments to the same degree I have and didn't understand why I would be so rude.
Do others find they get the brunt of the comments?

musicalisa 08-02-2012 03:09 PM

Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
This boggles my mind. The only time I EVER react with anything other than an enthusiastic congratulations is when I know that the newly-expectant mother did not wish to have any more children. And obviously these were quite close friends who I could be candid with and who had shared the news with trepidation.

At any rate, congratulations to you and best wishes for a smooth and healthy pregnancy!

*Hadassah* 08-02-2012 08:22 PM

Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
Thank you for the encouragement and kind words. I'm sorry any of you have had to also hear similar things or worse. :hugs:

Sonoran Bloom 08-02-2012 08:53 PM

Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
Congratulations!! :lostit:

Every child is an exciting blessing, no matter what number. :hugs:

luvsviola 08-02-2012 08:55 PM

Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?
 
Congrats mama! I have 3 and when I say I want one more, people act like I'm nuts.

"You'll never be able to afford to take them to Disney now"
"How are you going to pay for 4 weddings?"
"How are you ever going to find time for them?"
"Guess you'll never have anything nice again"

People just don't think before they open their mouths.


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