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-   -   16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :( (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1428328)

iwiamandaiwi 08-05-2012 11:27 AM

16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
My son is 16 months now and I really want to let him self wean. Bfing is a huge sorce of comfort for him and EVERYONE around me is pressuring me to wean him and giving me grief that I dare to still bf after a year. Many thought a year was too long and seem to look at bf as something you only do with newborns. I don't know where they are coming to this conclusion but it is so hard to stand up for myself and my son when EVERYONE around you is telling you that you are wrong ;( I want to cry sometimes when my baby is crying to bf and my husband basically tells me that I am a bad mother for letting him and that I am spoiling him and he will grow up to have problems because he is still bfing :( I mean i don't plan to bf him until he is preschool or anything. Honestly i do plan on having him weaned before he is two but i just don't think that he is ready yet and I really feel that all these nasty things they are saying about emotional damage and everything would be true if I STOPPED him cold turkey. He likes to do it when he wakes up in the morning and from his nap and maybe a few random times during the day but it really isnt that much.

Belbaby3728 08-05-2012 11:57 AM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
Hugs mama, What's your husbands logic behind calling you a bad mom? Is he jealous? Tell him to read some info on breastfeeding! You are giving your baby the best thing you can! Getting as far as you have is huge!! WHO recommends 2 years now. I would not wean your baby! So many people just don't realize how good extended breastfeeding is for babies, and mamas too as it decreases chances of breast cancer! If I were you I would get an info packet together on all the benefits and anytime someone gives you grief about it hand them the packet to read and say I am doing what is best for my baby and myself. If other people don't like it, that is their problem!! I have only been breastfeeding for 7 months but plan to go till my dd stops on her own and if someone has an issue with that, that is their problem! Again, hugs, I am sure it is not easy having support. My dh and family are great in that aspect.

TaraB 08-05-2012 12:04 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
personally I think you need to address the hurtful words your DH is saying to you. right or wrong he is saying it in a mean way which is not supportive.

Extended breastfeeding is great as long as the baby and mama are still good with the relationship. I think it is awesome that you have chosen to do so and have stuck with it.

Maybe pull some facts about extended breastfeeding so that when asked why you can quickly explain. No need to debate. Just say here are some facts and this is what I have chosen and what is right for us.

iwiamandaiwi 08-05-2012 12:05 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
Thank you, that is a really great idea :) I think my husband is just letting his mom influence him. He is a very easily influenced person and it can be irritating at times. I am not going to let anybody keep me from bfing because not only is it good for my son but it makes him happy. He is so miserable when I refuse him and I mean, not that I am an advocate of giving in to your kid just because they are unhappy but when there is no good reason not to make them happy then I hav eno problems giving in, lol. I guess I am just having a hard time with the fact that NO ONE is supportive and everyone seems to think I am doing some sort of disservice to my baby by bfing him past like 6m. Thanks for the support, I really needed it :)

mibarra 08-05-2012 12:19 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
Yeah, if you can get DH on board it will make a huge difference. He needs to support you. :)

themamageek 08-05-2012 12:31 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
Many parents don't consider breastfeeding until 2 to be "extended" breastfeeding. It's just breastfeeding. Americans have the lowest age for weaning in the world, I believe, and this mentality (that it's bad) is partly why.

I think you need to talk to your husband because even if he disagrees, he's handling it wrong, but there is nothing wrong and there are so many benefits to nursing your son right now. He's still a baby. My rule of thumb, and what I tell people who are nay sayers (when I bother to reply) is that if a baby would still be on formula, they'll be getting breastmilk. Why am I going to pay out money for something I get for free?

tibeca 08-05-2012 01:09 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
Look for a LLL group near you. You'd really benefit from the mother to mother support and they can recommend books that may help you solidify your stance on this. Sometimes knowing other people that breastfeed toddlers can help you give the confidence to do what is right for your child.

tibeca 08-05-2012 01:09 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
double post

Greenebean214 08-05-2012 01:30 PM

Hugs, I would be really upset if DH wasn't supportive! When it comes to people outside our immediate family, my solution to naysayers is to not bring it up. It's none of their business, really. But your hubby needs to back off with the rude comments. There are only benefits- to baby AND you. Have a heart to heart and ask him to keep his negativity to himself.

iwiamandaiwi 08-05-2012 01:34 PM

Re: 16 months and still p/t bf but getting grief :(
 
thanks ladies. I have tried talking to him but he won't budge. I have already decided that I am not going to let his ignorant opinion stop me from doing what I feel is right. It is just hard not having any support on the matter. It is like they think I am abusing my child or something by bfing at this age. It's rediculous, he will not be emotionally damaged because he is bfing. i mean he won't even remember it and his little body will gain so much from it. anyways thank ladies, I really appreciate your support :)


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