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-   -   Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1428613)

keonli 08-06-2012 08:06 AM

Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
We both work, and I honestly don't think we can get by with only one of us working, unless DH finds a better paying job in a state with 11% unemployment (odds are stacked against us). We work opposite shifts. Come January, there will be a baby added to the mix and my maternity leave will be over. Half day kindergarten is our only option in our state. So here is DH's schedule. Please let me know if you think it's doable.

DH comes home at 5 am.
I leave for work at 7:30 am.
DS will wake at either 9 or 10 am and I will have breakfast/lunch ready for them.
School starts at noon. DH has to drop DS off (bundle baby up in winter too)
Pick up at 2:30 pm (again, will have to bundle baby up and go)
I get home at 4:45 pm.
DH leaves for work at 6:30 pm.

Interrupted sleep pattern because of baby/feedings, of course. DH is insisting that he can handle this schedule, which will start in late January. I have my doubts. It seems like a lot to handle, especially with a 6 week old and a 5 year old.

We can try to get the in laws to help, but they want to be paid. SIL offered to drop DS off at school and pick him up if needed, but she works with an unpredictable schedule. My mother is willing to move in, but DH is resistant to that because he wants to raise this baby himself (my parents helped out with our oldest). Also, my sister is due 3 months after me and she's always been the type to heavily rely on my parents for help even though she doesn't work.

What do you think? Any tips/suggestions?

Fishie Kisses 08-06-2012 08:26 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
I don't think he should. the longest sleep cycle he'd get is 4 hours, assuming baby actually cooperates. It's not healthy IMO. I don't have any other solutions though :(

doulamomma 08-06-2012 08:30 AM

it doesn't look like he would be getting nearly enough sleep. plus the baby us supposed to do what all day? the baby might sleep a lot in the beginning, but will quickly need a caregiver who is up and interacting with them. I would also be worried that baby would sleep so much during the day, they wouldn't sleep well at night. I don't see how it would work

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keonli 08-06-2012 08:38 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
DH is being stubborn. He only sleeps 5 hours straight right now and has been like this for about 5 years now. He refuses to believe he can't handle this schedule. We shall see...I will do a test run during my maternity leave.

badmisterkitty 08-06-2012 08:40 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
If he is able to fall asleep right away when he gets home in the morning, it might work, especially if he can get that extra nap after you get home. But if he needs any time to wind down at 5 am....not so sure.

He's a good dad for wanting to try, though. :)

champatlife 08-06-2012 08:46 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
I think it sounds difficult. I think it would heavily depend on him. My husband used to have a similar schedule and there was no baby. Get home between 4 and 7am. (every day different, so you never knew how much sleep he could get) my DD woke up around 7 and 8. (she was 3 at the time). I always wondered how much time he spent dozed off on the couch while watching her, he'd try to plan a trip to the park or pool a few times a week. She napped in the afternoon, so he did get a nap before leaving for work. He had to be at work at 4- and I would pick her up from his work after I got off. I know he was dog tired with this schedule, but typical work week was Sunday-thursday. So he did a lot of sleep catch up Friday night when I got home, and slept in super late on the weekends, and I'd get up with her, but I know he "loved" when he had to leave two months for training because he would sleep from the time he got off until until an hour before work.

I don't think my husband personally would be able to do it with a newborn (at least not with the personalities our little ladies had)... BUT the newborn phase doesn't last forever, and he could try and adapt her schedule to benefit his. I think most women do a lot better with sleep deprivation than males, when it comes to newborns. Could you always try it, and if it doesn't work evaulate what needs to change to be able to work.


ETA: I would think if you guys can find a way for him to nap the full time your son is at school, he might be able to balance it.

pumkinsmommy 08-06-2012 09:00 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
I was thinking about this when I saw that you were expecting, congratulations!! I think you should let your mother stay for a about 2 months. Your husband drives so far for work that it is dangerous for him to get that little amount of sleep. Can you son take the bus?

leadmare 08-06-2012 09:08 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
Aside from any issues with baby and enough sleep for your DH, what concerns me most is how this schedule will affect your relationship with your husband. Everyone is different, but for me, I would not be Ok with this situation. With the stress of a new baby, sleep deprived adults... We'd be asking for trouble. Just something to think about. Remember you and your dh's relationship is super important!

keonli 08-06-2012 09:30 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by pumkinsmommy (Post 15506718)
I was thinking about this when I saw that you were expecting, congratulations!! I think you should let your mother stay for a about 2 months. Your husband drives so far for work that it is dangerous for him to get that little amount of sleep. Can you son take the bus?

Thanks for thinking of me and my little family, mama. We had a 5 year plan, but didn't take into account half day kindy. :blush:

Buses are not provided for half day kindy, but the school is only 2 blocks from us. I did find that the YMCA a mile down the road offers after school care and transportation, though, but getting DH to agree might be more problematic. Stubborn, stubborn.

Quote:

Originally Posted by leadmare (Post 15506771)
Aside from any issues with baby and enough sleep for your DH, what concerns me most is how this schedule will affect your relationship with your husband. Everyone is different, but for me, I would not be Ok with this situation. With the stress of a new baby, sleep deprived adults... We'd be asking for trouble. Just something to think about. Remember you and your dh's relationship is super important!

We've had this opposite schedule deal since DS was born and it actually works in our favor sometimes LOL! But yes, I agree that our relationship is very important, which is why I'm willing to find another alternative to DH becoming sleep deprived. He does feel it's important to "father" his children and actually parent them, which I can understand, but I don't want to put his health at risk either.

champatlife 08-06-2012 09:58 AM

Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by keonli (Post 15506892)



We've had this opposite schedule deal since DS was born and it actually works in our favor sometimes LOL! But yes, I agree that our relationship is very important, which is why I'm willing to find another alternative to DH becoming sleep deprived. He does feel it's important to "father" his children and actually parent them, which I can understand, but I don't want to put his health at risk either.

Has he been doing this same schedule for quite awhile already? if so I guess it would just be adding a new baby into the mix? because if he's already simi used to not sleeping for great lengths of time, and taking care of one little one. I think that will help a lot with the transition.


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