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AzulMariposa 08-07-2012 01:55 AM

taking custody of children in family
This may get long. My BIL is planning on divorcing his wife. She just gave up their house and moved back in with her mom, and took the kids with her. BIL cant stand it there so he is an his parents. Her moms house is not a good place for the kids. The 5 yr old has severe asthma, and there are 4-5 chainsmoking adults ib the house at all times. The 2 yr old is allergic to dust mites and they have made no effort to clean the place up to help her heal. She is covered in sores. Everytime I have been there there have been multiple piles of animal feces in the floor, bugs all over the kitchen, etc. The children are always filthy, and they only use one diaper per day on the two yr old. This is a doublewide trailer with at least 9 people living in it, and if we get more than an inch of rain the driveway floods and they are stranded.

I had not done anything about this in the past because they were trying to get the kids out of there. Not saying I would have taken as long as they did, but I really hoped they could keep the family together. We all helped them as much as we could wgen they got their house, painting, refinishing the floors, etc. We pooled together and got them a washer, dryer, fridge & stove. They lived there a little over a month. Apparently it is too hard for her to take care of her kids, so she moved back in so everyone else could do it.

I would love for my BIL to get custody, but he has not had a steady job in years. Because he was living at her moms with her and the kids, he missed work due to flooding, and also had to call in anytime the kids had to go to the dr because no one else would take them. Now he lives at his parents, and her aunt had called CPS on bogus charges against my FIL, so the kids will not be able to live there anyways.

I was just wondering what if any experiences you all have with this type of situation. We are considering becoming foster parents anyways, but thought that it might help to do it now so they can have somewhere familiar to go when it gets crazy. It is guarenteed to get crazy with her family involved, they tricked her into giving up custody of her son shortly after he was born. We would not keep the children away from the parents, just provide a safe place.

pcjs 08-07-2012 07:28 AM

Re: taking custody of children in family
If both parents consent, you can get guardianship. CPS will only make you a kinship foster parent if the children are at risk of being placed in foster care or are in foster care. They will not license you just in case.

newmommy13 08-07-2012 09:06 AM

Has anyone called on their current living arrangements, diaper situation, etc? Thats very concerning but noo one can do anything about it if there is no report.

FindingMercy 08-07-2012 10:05 AM

I would be asking the parents if you can care for the kids. I would also probably call and report their living situation.

AzulMariposa 08-07-2012 08:03 PM

So kinship care could be arranged if they are put into foster care? I thought that I would have to already be a foster parentt to be considered, especially since the older one is already "in the system" thanks to their moms aunts lies.

I know when my cousins were taken due to lies from their moms family, We could only get the child that had not already been investigated. The girls went to a foster home. We then had to have an inspection to make sure we had space for them all and i think my parents had to get backround checks and such. I was in high school at that time.

CherryPie 08-07-2012 08:27 PM

Re: taking custody of children in family
Not sure if it is the same where you are, but they can place them with you as their foster parents and do an expedited homestudy and then you have to take your PATH classes within a certain timeframe. You don't get a board payment until you complete the classes.

That being said, you don't have to do the kinship foster care option. There is another option where they do an expedited home study and then back you while you file a petition for custody. They can file a motion to expedite the hearing so it will happen in a few business days vs a few months.

pcjs 08-07-2012 10:35 PM

Re: taking custody of children in family
It really depends on the workers and agency but generally if they are in care, at least here you have to be a licensed foster parent but they will do it for free. Like you are saying, if they haven't entered the system, its different. Talk to the child's worker.

AzulMariposa 08-08-2012 12:13 PM

Thanks. We would love to foster any children, but since we are aware of this situation occuring, and can only have a total of 5 kids including bio-kids, we will just have to wait until the opportunity arises.

If I or someone else report the issues now, they can easily be denied and/or fixed before a social worker visits the home. Would it be better long term to report the issues everytime they occur, or wait until a worse situation (like being stranded due to high water or not taking child to dr) They also drive without car seats and allow the five yr old to sit in dads lap and drive, but only when not in town from what i can tell. I guess i am just curious when the best times to call are, in terms of getting the children out of dangerous situations.

Fashionably Green Baby 08-08-2012 12:31 PM

Re: taking custody of children in family
How would they have time to fix the situation? You call and cps shows up unannounced I believe. I guess I don't know as I have never been involved or known anyone who has been involved personally but CPS showed up at my neighbors door and she seems pretty shocked so I don't think she knew they were coming. If the house is always filthy etc then they will see it. If it isn't always filthy then maybe you have just seen it at it's worst but from my experience people who allow there to be piles of feces on the floor aren't the type that are cleaning regularly so CPS should be able to see the mess when they arrive.

AzulMariposa 08-09-2012 10:04 PM

A friend of mine recently got a call first. I am not sure as i have also never been involved (knock on wood) I dont know. Her aunt who has custody of her son is going to school to be a social worker and kbows exactly what to say to work the system. BIL was just here, talking about moving to Mississippi for a girl from a chatroom... just don't understand how people can walk away from their kids.

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