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kelpie169 08-19-2012 09:12 AM

What to do with older siblings
We have 2 toddlers-one who's 3.5 and one who's 19 months. Our plan for what to do with them when I go into labor is rapidly becoming something I'm extremely hesitant about.
We had originally planned for my bio mom to watch them. However, lately she has been very distant and almost seems to be ignoring us.
She and her husband have an online shop that she basically runs (puttin at least 80 hours a week in) and has my sisters every other week. I understand they have a life outside of us. It's not that.
For instance, she and her mother in law wanted to throw a baby shower. This is our last baby and only girl. So they're very excited. However, they didn't ever start to plan. So my husband casually mentioned to my bio mom about 3 weeks ago that they needed to let us know when it was so we could actually be there. We recently found out that even though I'm not due til oct 1, at the very latest music will induce me at 39 weeks on sept 24. Medical reasons. But it's unlikely I'll even make it that long. We let her know since that impacts the shower obviously. He ha also let her know that the only days we can really do it would be Wednesdays or Thursday's since Jose are his days off. I can't wrangle both boys by myself and besides my anxiety is off the charts this time around and being around a lot of people and being the center of attention would make me lose it. Long story short they had apparently already planned it for sept 16, which is also my moms birthday and a Sunday. It just won't work and we told her so but it took her almost a month to tell us anything! I don't care one way or the other about the shower but she wouldn't answer any calls or gets for almost a month-what I I had been in labor? We have no one else to call and siblings aren't allowed in the delivery room at the hospital so I'd be there alone while y husband takes care of the kids. Which is now becoming a huge source of anxiety for me.
So I'm wondering what to do-or what we even CAN do. The boys are allowed in but not for actual delivery of I understood the lady I talked to before. But that still doesn't do me a whole lot of good if my husband still has to leave.

MommyMeads 08-19-2012 09:48 AM

Re: What to do with older siblings
I'm guessing your Mom is your only family option? I would just sit down with her and have a good conversation with her about everything. Express your fears about her being so busy and tell her you are just making sure she can still take your kids.
Or How about a friend? We don't live near family and always have a few friends on call for when I go in labor. I don't like having just one person on call since they could just be busy at the time I call. DH does not stay at the hospital with me after the baby is born though. He always leave once I am in a recovery room. He stops by with the kids once or twice but not for long and I pretty much see him and the kids when I get sent home.
Or look into hiring a babysitter or a drop in day care. Not exactly the best options but they work if you really need someone.

Nerissa 08-20-2012 08:49 AM

Re: What to do with older siblings
We have a couple neighbors that will come over if we need them. One is willing to do middle of the night even. She was on-call last time too and we ended up not needing her. My mom is an hour away and going by how fast the last one came that will not be enough notice. My grandam is 30 min away and could come to the house or meet us at the hospital also.

DH doesnt' stay with my at the hospital (and I am perfectly fine with that) the entire time, espeically at night. DS1 will go to school like normal, DS2 will go to daycare during the day like normal.

I have a back pack in the van loaded with a bunch of stuff for the boys, snacks, toys, ect plus some cash incase they ended up at the hospital with me to keep them occupied until someone gets there.

graciebb 08-27-2012 09:59 AM

Re: What to do with older siblings
I was just going to ask about neighbors!
I have 4 older kids, ranging from 11 to 6 years old. I feel they are all old enough to stay at home. I will have my lovely neighbor check up on them every hour or so to make sure they haven't destroyed my house! lol
When I lived in Illinois my dad and step-mom would watch the older kids for me. But I also had a scheduled induction with my first 3 pregnancies so it was pretty easy to coordinate when they would go over there. After I gave birth, my hubby would bring the kids up to the hospital and they would all stay with me there.

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