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nbert921 08-22-2012 09:12 AM

Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
I currently have a 15 month old dd and am expecting a newbie in 2 weeks :goodvibes: . However i'm really stressed about maternity leave and the lack of a paycheck.

Also, i may have to switch to part time instead of full time to watch our kids more as my salary would just cover childcare for 2. Right now my mom and MIL watch my daughter, but with 2, my mom will no longer be able to watch our kids (she already watches my nephew as well, so 3 is too many) and so i don't want to have my MIL watch 2 kids 5 days a week-i just don't feel that is right. So DH and i have thought about me working part time and his mom will watch the 2 babes 2 days a week.

I'm just really getting stressed about not contributing to our family financially...especially with the added cost of another child. I tried for the past few months to get a higher paying job and went on several interviews, but nothing seemed to work out. i'm going to start applying for new positions once i'm on maternity leave in hopes of finding a higher paying job that i could still afford child care and have money left over. It's just very stressful.

DH and i went through some very hard times together where we couldn't even afford groceries. he recently got a new much better job, but i never ever want to know that life again nor do i want my kids to know that life.

i just don't know what to do. i want to continue to contribute and i just don't feel like part time is going to be enough considering how little i make to begin with! i just don't know what to do...

abunchoflemons 08-22-2012 09:36 AM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
Oh I know. My hubby watched our 1 kid in summers part time (30 hrs a week) & now nothing. I undedrstand that. Do u think u feel up to watching a kid in ur home?

abunchoflemons 08-22-2012 09:54 AM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
I brought home not much.....

Nerissa 08-22-2012 09:59 AM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
((HUGS)) Daycare is expensive--one reason we timed this third baby so that our oldest is in school full time. No daycare needed since I get off work before he gets home and DH doestn' go to work till after he goes to schoo. so we still only have to pay for two. At least till summer.

Realisticlly if your entire paycheck is going to daycare there isn't much point in working. I would stay home and figure out other ways.

could you watch a couple kids in your house to bring in a little bit of money?

nbert921 08-22-2012 10:58 AM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
that is a good idea to try to find some kids to watch. i never really thought of that. i did consider getting a full time job at a day care so that my kids could go for free, but i know that they dont pay very well at all. i just hate having this stress when i'm prego. i don't want my little bean to feel it, too.

hannahmama 09-04-2012 11:33 AM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
that worked really well for me when my dd was tiny.

MomMe3 09-04-2012 01:30 PM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
If you're just making money to pay for chilcare it makes more sense for you to stay home and try to find alternate ways to earn money. Could you watch someone else's child? Could you work part-time but take an opposite shift from your DH so that someone is always there to watch the kids without any extra expense?

MomMe3 09-04-2012 01:31 PM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
Also, do you not qualify for disability? I know not all states or employers have it.

ETA: 6 weeks of my maternity leave was paid by disability through my state. Another 6 weeks were paid through family leave (which only some states have).

WannaBeGreen2011 09-06-2012 07:59 PM

I was stressed about it too! I got 6 weeks paid at 80% of my paycheck, then took 6 weeks extra of FMLA off unpaid. It was hard with only 1 paycheck for 6 weeks. We still had to pay daycare for the older. Once I went back to work, my paycheck barely covered daycare for both kids plus gas for my car. That's it. The only reason I kept working was because I carry our insurance and hubby's job doesn't offer insurance.

Now that we've moved, thankfully, my parents are able to watch my youngest son so we just pay for one in daycare. My paycheck now covers his daycare, my gas and toll tags, and absolutely nothing else. Some months with 5 weeks I actually "lose" money since daycare is more expensive. So I'm in the hole about $160 on 5 week months. However, once again, I carry the insurance so I can't quit. It sucks!!

In a few months I will hopefully start looking for a new job closer to home with fewer hours that still offers insurance...

From my iPhone, probably while BF'ing.

loni1090 10-07-2012 05:40 PM

Re: Stressing about mat leave...just need to vent
Do you have short term disability or and vacation to use after the baby? Can you work weekends, or any days you DH is off? Or different hours opposite of you DH? Or maybe work longer hours the 2 days you MIL is watching the kids? Like 10 or 12 hours? My friend ran a daycare for all the coworkers of her DH until the kids were in school.

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