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peaceloveowls 08-28-2012 05:05 PM

Single Mommies
Do we chat here ?Or is there another forum for that?

I am leaving my current arrangement with my soon to be ex . We have basically been co parenting for almost a year.

We are moving on. It's been a long time and this is overdue.
I am about to really be single moming it with 4 kids.

Single moms talk to me please.

How does CS work and do I have to take the kids to court with me during ANY of the judgements ?

We are going to have joint custody.

I have been looking for a job.
What do you do to bring in money if you do not have a job ?
I live in a kind of considered rural area and with so many college students there's not really alot out here job wise :(

Thank you for chatting with me.
I am a little terrified about jumping off the board into the pool :giggle2: but this is the best for the kids and myself. It really is. Mental/ Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical and I am no longer letting this happen to us any longer.

nothingtosee 08-29-2012 08:20 AM

Re: Single Mommies
I don't know what to say about the job situation, it took me 5 months to find one after I moved out, and we just lived on my savings until I got it. Even now that I have one, it's always a battle between paychecks.
I don't think you usually take the kids to court with you. I know for all of my CS issues, ds wasn't allowed to attend. How it works is that the ex sends money to the state, then the state sends it to you. In my experience, the state is way less reliable than my ex was at getting me my payment, since he's one of those that's always on time for everything and would rather starve than not make a payment.

All I can say is that it's tough, but it's so much more peaceful alone than in a bad situation.

abunchoflemons 08-29-2012 08:39 AM

Re: Single Mommies
Kids no go. I'm married but my oldest I'm dealing with for a long time. Court will look to see what's best 4 kids. My case it was me being main parent. State has guidelines 4 support setting. State can with hold from his check & pay u. My ex not working 4 few yrs & if he worked & gets refund u get too if he gets behind same with unemployment pay. I'm still waiting on my warrant & see what happens with all that cuz mines in contempt of court. R u going to move to bigger area to b able to work? I got state child care assistance, wic because kid was little, hawki (free or cheap insurance 4 kids in iowa) but I think most states have similar program to getr kids insured & that's dental too. I would make sure u or laywer on top of stuff cuz my moms walked all over my dads because his wasn't up on all of that. Hope urs goes well if paid visits in store 4 ur ex like mine I would b stickler on it. Let me know if I can help. If u low & on title 19 u not pay csru to help but otherwise in iowa its 25.00. Lawyer gets stuff passed faster. U got to keep up on csru cuz so many cases. If behind his liscense can b suspendedv& passports & bank accounts to get u $. But if work 4 cash & no bank out of luck I guess.

abunchoflemons 08-29-2012 08:41 AM

Re: Single Mommies
Take part in state assistance because that's what its there 4. I did & I was in school so I got money 4 that & it helped 4 kid stuff too cuz I tried to go cheap way on books.

abunchoflemons 08-29-2012 10:39 AM

Re: Single Mommies
I would also keep written track of stuff. Like I have list of stuff I have gotten (little to nothin useful) & any conacting on using visitation (none) so that might tip judge on his/her decision.

Suzi 08-30-2012 02:51 PM

Re: Single Mommies
Cs varies so much by state and by counties within the state. Here they look at they type of joint custody (whether its 50/50, 70/30...) and how much each parent makes. But, I know they also figure something for a parent even if they are unemployed. It was minimum wage and not quite 40hours/week but don't remember for sure anymore.

They also look at earning potential as well. My ex had been making more money than me but that was because he was working 50 hours a week. We actually had the same basic per hour wage. But, I had also started a master's degree so there was argument that I had more earning potential. We ended up using a mediator in the end to avoid so much in court costs.

I was already working so sorry I'm not much help there. Good luck! Glad you are doing what's right for your family.

abunchoflemons 08-30-2012 03:29 PM

Re: Single Mommies
Mil pays 75 for 2 even though she not work but iowa states a specific amount if u pay even sahparents.

moonlightblonde 09-08-2012 07:45 PM

Re: Single Mommies
Subscribing =) similar situation.

EcoNaturalBaby 09-25-2012 08:28 AM

Re: Single Mommies
I'm a single mom of four and I left for the same reasons you stated. It's hard financially but worth it emotionally. Feel free to pm me any time : )

hardcoreMama 10-08-2012 09:55 AM

Re: Single Mommies
I am a single mamma too. My DD is 3months. I left her dad when I was 7mo preg because of the emotional abuse. He did get physical but the mind games and making me feel like acrazyperson was horrible. He still does it. He took me to court over a month ago for visitation but I will not see any child support for moths :/ I am in same job boat too. I am on unemployment sine I got laid off right before I got preg. But I am trying to get my eggs in a basket to become an LC by the time she is in school. Until then, I suppose I will let unemployment run out and then collect state. What else do we do, right?? It is very hard. Hang in :)

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