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-   -   Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :( (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1438655)

Xythnia 09-01-2012 01:54 PM

Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
I have 2 beautiful kids. One born at home, by choice, when I was 15. I have been pro-natural birth since I watched my Mom give birth to my sister, breech, at home, when she was 41. DD was born at a hospital's "birthing center" 4 years ago. I had no worries with this pregnancy and assumed it would be short and smooth like the others.

The last 2 months I have felt "kicks" straight into my crotch and behind. I knew they were kicks. But it never even dawned on me that this was a WARNING that she was breech! My clinic midwives never noticed or checked position...until 3 days ago. Suddenly, panic! Transfer to doctor! Scheduled c-section!

Four days ago I was whining that I would prefer a homebirth, that I have to push her out on my back and that I need to write my plan of what the hospital is NOT allowed to do to my daughter.

In the last three days I have tried to find a doctor who will deliver breech (insanely difficult...too much liability is all we hear...), spinning techniques, acupuncture, moxibusion, prayer and as much positive energy as I can muster.

So now I am trying to come to grips with my first surgery ever, disappointment at my midwives and myself, fear over inability to nurse, healing time, the fear that the baby NEEDS to be c-section (and maybe that is why she will not flip...) and just this overwhelming feeling of loss. My husband is trying his best to console me, which is hard since I am usually the rock in the household.

I must say, many of the posts in this forum are not helping calm my nerves either! Any suggestions to those who have been through it, after natural birth(s)?

Done at 3 09-01-2012 02:12 PM

I just had a c section almost 3 weeks ago after 2 natural births. I was terrified but honestly, there was no reason to be. It was so much better than I had imagined. I was able to nurse within 15 minutes and my milk came in 2 days later, same as it had with my natural deliveries. I would encourage you to get up and walk as soon as they will let you. I took a Strong dose of pain meds and walked a few laps in the hospital about 8 or so hours after surgery. From what I understand it makes recovery faster. I have no other c section to compare it to, but people kept commenting how easily I was moving around a week later. I have a bit of discomfort here and there, but had discomfort from episiotomies and pelvis issues as a result of DS2's delivery, so although different, I wouldn't say worse. I took comfort in knowing my baby was safe and the choice was what was best for him. Good luck!

happymama1 09-01-2012 06:16 PM

Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
:hugs:

I've had one natural birth, and 2 c-sections. Honestly, my c-sections weren't that bad. You will most likely be a good candidate for a VBAC if you have another baby.

Sorry it's not working out the way you'd like.

jaelynsmommy61607 09-01-2012 06:47 PM

Are they willing to try and turn her? This is just me but I wouldn't schedule a c section. I'd wait until labor starts. That way you know she's ready and had every chance to turn.

jesajane 09-01-2012 07:00 PM

Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
I had a natural birth and then a c-section. my daughter was breech but we didn't know until after i labored at home most of the day. 8 cm dilated and then an emergency c-section. i was scared but it went really well. they do push you to get up and walk around afterwards. i was able to nurse within 30 minutes, i guess. not really sure. it was pretty quick.

but emotionally, it threw me for a loop. i lost faith in my body's ability to have children. compared to the natural birth which left me empowered and confident.

with time, you will be able to accept it. things happen that we can't control. the end result is what matters - you will have a beautiful, healthy baby to love. he/she doesn't care how she got here. she just wants to be in your arms.

good luck with your decisions and your delivery.

Xythnia 09-01-2012 08:05 PM

Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
Thank you for the replies. They would not attempt to turn her as I was 39w+4d when they found out she was breech. I was able to have them schedule it for 2 days after the due date but I am going to wait til labor as I want to ensure she is ready to be earthside and so my body hopefully isn't confused suddenly going from baby to no baby inside.

Still trying to encourage her to flip, but steeling myself to the c-section. I am also the sole income source on non paid maternity leave and yesterday was my son's 18th birthday. Way too many things happening at once. Normally, I can deal with a lot so but all this...

The positive stories are a great relief. Thank you.

jaelynsmommy61607 09-01-2012 08:44 PM

I hope she turns! I had to get back to work at 6 weeks pp with my csection. It was alps harder than returning 6 weeks pp with my vbac.

clothdiapercrunchy 09-03-2012 08:39 AM

Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
I have to have a scheduled c section in May. Mine has to be scheduled :/. I had two vaginal births (both were homebirth transfers though). I cannot imagine what you are going through to find out just days before. Im struggling enough at 5 weeks pregnant. Im just here to offer encouragement. I don't know if it's an option for you, but we will have a doula... She is helping me to have a c section birth plan. I wish you luck and I hope all goes well...

Xythnia 09-05-2012 11:35 AM

Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
Update now that I am officially "2 days late" per the professionals and not feeling as fearful and emotionally twisted as before...


1. I cancelled the schedule c/s - I told them the guesstimate I gave them originally and my own record of my last period do not match. They said they would keep the original dates. Um, ok. If they adjusted, my due date would be closer to the 13th! I want her to be as ready as possible for this world. I also want my body to know it gave birth!

2. Dumped the doctor. After discussing things with DH and trusting his bad feelings about our newly assigned doctor, he is out. Plus, it makes ME nervous that after DH's confrontation with the doctor, his presence in the OR might make the doc uncomfortable. I do NOT want someone cutting into me uncomfortable in any way!

3. Switching hospitals. Phoenix Baptist Hospital was decent with DD1s birth. Tried scare tactics on me to make me get induced, kept pushing formula on me big time and I HATED the painful fist to the stomach to force my uterus to contract "faster" - but otherwise, since I was vocal and took no crap, it went well. She did not leave my room the entire time.

However, for c/s they take them to the nursery for 24hrs, you can see them every 2-4 hours on request, no skin-to-skin immediately after, no immediate nursing, arm restraints are standard. NO. I refuse to *schedule* a negative birth experience for Violet and myself.

DH is so awesome, he saw me on the phone listening to the nurse with tears in my eyes. He grabs his tab, started searching and found recommendations on Babycenter for Scottsdale Hospital - Shea Medical Center. I called them. They do immediate skin-to-skin on c/s! They don't HAVE a nursery! The child stays in the room with you for any/all procedures! They "strongly support" breastfeeding! And amazingly, they are little distance but a straight shot for DH, who is not as familiar with most of that area.

Working on the flip every day til she is ready. We are going to tour the facility today so feeling hopeful. If anything, this has been a HUGE opportunity for DH and I to grow closer together, see how we deal with being in situations were control is not totally in our hands, and help us to be stronger, more vocal individuals.

We call DD1 our "glue" because we only stuck through our rough first year+ due, in large part, to her. We are calling this one our 'love child' because we panicked on finding out we were pregnant and fully engaged in giving her up for adoption. :cry: It was just fear that we couldn't do it/afford it/etc. After the decision, we didn't talk about the adoption plans OR the pregnancy at all for 5 months. Then, realized I could NOT give up my own child, and when I told him he cried - he had realized he didn't want to either but didn't want to impose his will on "my" body. Totally emotional constipation - I cried the whole weekend. We've been 125% into the journey every since.

Can't back down yet. I think a good path has been set in front of us...we will follow and see were it leads...

keidlog 09-05-2012 05:02 PM

Re: Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
 
Good luck to you. I had a c- section with my first, and hoping for a home birth this time. There are providers here who will deliver breach vaginally (my friend did it at home with a dr last year!) is that a possibility?


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