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-   -   Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440063)

myall4him2 09-05-2012 10:04 AM

Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Well, my oldest dd is sick this morning, so I'm quarantined to my room with the baby while dh takes care of her, no better time than to sit down and write Esther's birth story.

I want to start at Esther "beginning", so I'll summarize it quickly for you all so this isn't insanely long!

DH and I have been married for 7 years. We never really talked about how many children we would have. I think we just assumed we would stop with two, but the Lord had other plans. The Lord planned #3, and #4 for us without us knowing lol Each time I would have a baby I would always wonder if we were done, but there was a part of me that was never sure. I just didn't feel at peace about say "Yep! We're officially done" and then making that decision permanent.

When child #4 was almost a year I started feeling that desire for another child again. I'm sure many of you know that desire. It's a deep desire. You can't make it go away. You can't ignore it. It's indescribable, but it's very very really and strong. When, dh was absolutely positively against having anymore children. He was doing his doctorate, he's a middle school teacher, a coach, and we already have 4 children. He was feeling overwhelmed with the idea of more. I tried hard to respect that, but again, this desire just doesn't go away. We started to fight about it. I was an emotional wreck. Everyone around me was getting pregnant, but me. Everyone else was having that desire fulfilled, but me. It really started to create a gap in my relationship with dh. This is probably the toughest thing we've had to deal with in our marriage so far!

Finally I came to the point one night where I just HAD to surrender it all to God. Don't get me wrong, it was still hard for me emotionally. I would get up in the mornings and have my devotional and read a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife". My goal was to pray for him the way the book told me to, which meant that I did NOT pray that God would change DH's heart about having a baby. I prayed that God would use my DH at his workplace to minister Gods love, I prayed that his heart would desire and seek after God even more, I prayed for everything else except to have another baby.

One evening on the way home from walmart, I just broke down in tears to my dh. The conversation went along the lines of that I was still having a really hard time with this. That the desire was still really there and I felt like he was ignoring this "need" that I had. DH didn't say much on the ride home, and when we got home I remember going to my room and shutting the door and just pulling out my Bible. Sounds religious, I know, but really, it was my walk with God and remembering His scriptures that brought peace to my heart and helped calm me down. Knowing that His ways are perfect for me, He'll never leave me, He hears the cries of my heart. DH came to the room and asked me to come to the living room. Reluctantly I did.

He then started to tell me how God was giving Him a peace about having another child. That the more he thought about it, the more he could see things working out.

My jaw dropped.

I think there were a few minutes when I was just absolutely speechless.

Once I got over the shock, I asked if he was sure. Like over and over again. lol I didn't want to just get "my way", I wanted him to want this to. So that month, we conceived baby Esther (without every having a pp period from my last baby!).

Anyways, from day 1 I wasn't feeling well. I've never been so sick so early on with any of my other pregnancies. I started feeling better around the 2nd trimester but my body still felt very tired and drained, pretty much all the time. My husband is a teacher, so around my 3rd trimester he was home for the summer and could help with the 4 kids. I think I pretty much slept the summer months away. My body was just seriously worn out. I had been nursing and/or pregnant for the past 7 years straight.

Even though I was so tired, we were still very blessed with a healthy pregnancy and baby!

Around 36 weeks I started feeling this extreme pressure and pains in my groin area. It hurt to walk. It hurt to even move my legs. I went to the OB the next week to find out that her head was RIGHT THERE. I got excited thinking that should would possibly come early! Although in pain, I decided to catch up on the house, keep it in good order so when the baby came it wouldn't be a mess. Everyday, I stayed on top of the house no matter how awful I felt. It was spotless every night when I went to bed. 37 weeks went, 38 weeks came and went, 39 weeks came and surely this would be the week! I've never been late! Well, it too also went.

40 weeks came. At this point I didn't think the baby would ever come. This was my 5th baby, I should know that ALL babies will come at some point, but I think it was a protective barrier I put up, so that as each day passed I wouldn't get more and more discouraged. It was very hard emotionally for me. My body wasn't even contracting that much. I would have maybe 4 contractions in a 24 hour period. We started doing things that might help kick start labor. Evening primrose oil, dtd, walking, etc. The only thing that seemed effective was dtd. It caused contractions almost everytime, but then they would fizzle out. I had an appt at 40 weeks 2 days and the NST test came back great, the u/s showed plenty of fluid in there, I was dilated to a 3, 80% effaced, station -2. Everything pointed to a quick labor that would hopefully happen soon. We live an hour and a half away from the hospital I was to deliver at since I wanted to have a VBAC (this would be my 4th VBAC), so the doctor said once I have about 3 contractions 10 minutes apart to head to the hospital.

41 weeks came and dh and I dtd that morning. He got up with the kids and I laid in bed to rest. Well, a contraction came. Another one came 8 minutes apart, another one came 6 minutes apart, then 5.....my eyes bugged out when I saw the pattern so I decided to take a shower and see if they would slow down. Nope....infact they started come 3 and 4 minutes apart. I hopped out of the shower and calmly told dh to call my inlaws to come over and watch the kids. I said calmly b/c I know my dh would freak out if I seemed rushed. He asked how far apart the contractions were and I said "I don't want to tell you", and that's when he freaked out lol My inlaws were on their way out of town (SAY WHAT?! They knew they were "on call" this weekend!) so they were 20 minutes away. We called our neighbor across the street to come watch the kids until my inlaws got there.

We drove 80 all the way to the hospital lol again, it was an hour and a half away! The contractions were leveling out at every 6 minutes apart at this point.

We got to the hospital, they checked my cervix and said I was 7 cm. WOW! 7 cm! That's crazy! I wasn't even in *that* much pain. They checked me in and the contractions pretty much just stopped. The doctor came in and said I was only about 5 cm's (I'm thinking it's the difference in finger sizes). After a few hours nothing was happening. The nurse came in and started talking induction. I didn't want to be induced. I wanted to walk around and try other things, but since I was a VBAC they wanted me on the monitors constantly. I asked if I could check myself out then and go to the mall and walk around, get lunch, etc. and her blunt response was "No! That wouldn't be safe".

I didn't want to argue with her and cause a bad "relationship" with my nurses just in case I did go into labor, but I knew she was wrong. My waters were not broken, I wasn't in labor, I wasn't even contracting. There was NOTHING dangerous about me walking around the mall and getting lunch. Well a few minutes later the doctor came in with the same nurse and said that I basically wasn't in labor. He said they could start the induction if I wanted or we could just wait and see what happens. So I asked him if I could go walk around the mall, and he gave me a resounding "SURE!". I asked him if I could go get lunch and he gave me another resounding "SURE!". He left and the nurse said she would get my papers ready. He just wanted me to stay in town and near the hospital b/c he was certain the baby would come fast. In my head I was happy that was all done infront of the nurse lol

So dh and I got lunch and a hotel room. We wanted to nap first, and then we would walk around the mall later and try to get things started when we were better rested. I napped for maybe 20 minutes. There was just so much going on in my mind about that morning, possibly meeting Esther, etc.

Once dh woke up from his nap, we went and walked around the mall. No contractions, just uncomfortable from walking. We went to walmart to pick up a few things and ran into some family so we went and spent some time with them. Afterwards we got some dinner from Chilli's and brought it back to our hotel room. That will be the last time I eat at chilli's for a lonnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg time, more on that later though. DH and I decided to dtd. That's what started the contractions last time! Nothing happened for a while except horrible indigestion from Chilli's. DH fell asleep around 11pm and that's when things started picking up. The contractions were about 15 minutes apart but they were KILLERS! I had to get on all fours and breath through them and try to relax my body. They hurt so bad my body would shake. I didn't have much relaxing time in between them though b/c her head was causing so much pressure. I was also having lots of bowel movements and bloody shows so around midnight I woke up dh and decided to go to the hospital. We got there and I was only 6cm :cry: I thought for sure I was more.

I wanted a natural birth so bad, but I was so worn out from laboring that morning, not sleeping at all (besides the 20 minutes), walking the mall, and then again laboring that night that I asked the nurse to order me an epidural. I was at peace with that decision and still am. I'm glad I ordered it when I did because it took over THREE HOURS for him to get to my room!! Once he put the epidural in I immediately felt relief, my body just relaxed for the first time all day! It was amazingly great! Even after waiting 3 hours for the epidural I was only still 6 cm. I asked them why I wasn't dilating anymore, I've never had that problem, and they said that sometimes after you have a lot of children your uterine muscles won't be as effective to dilate...makes sense...this is my 5th baby. We waited another hour and a half, still no change, so I agreed to the lowest dose of pitocin and for them to break my water. I greatly regret them breaking my water now. Apparently there was no water to break and when they cut my bag, they also cut Esthers head 3 or 4 times :cry: I feel so stinkin awful about it....that's the ONLY safe spot for her and she's already getting cut on her HEAD! They said it's very common...but I want to sue their butts!

Anyways, back to labor, about an hour after getting the pitocin I was ready to push. I was able to feel the contractions, and feel when I wanted to push. In my birth plans I asked them not to tell me when to push, not to count, just be there, and that's what they did. It was GREAT! I pushed when I needed to and as long as I needed to. I gave 2 big pushes and she was out!

The birth didn't go as I planned (natural, no medications, etc), but it still went very well (besides her head :cry:). Her head is healing up well and we were able to go home after 24 hours. She's an excellent nurser, infact that's the first thing she did after she came out was to start rooting around to eat. She's so perfect and so wonderful! It never ceases to amazes me how much our hearts can fill with so much love for each and every child :wub:

So the stats, arrived at the hospital a little after midnight at 41 weeks 1 days pregnant, had Esther at 7:39am weighing 9lbs even 20 1/2 inches long.

Sorry there's no picture, I don't feel comfortable sharing pictures of my children online, but thank you so much for reading my long novel :giggle2:

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox 09-05-2012 10:23 AM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
:celebrate: so glad she's here! I'm sorry about the dr cutting her little head, that is heartbreaking:(

rumblepurr 09-05-2012 10:33 AM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Congratulations! Good for you, standing up for your self and getting out of the hosp. for a moment to try other methods to start labor! Sorry, Esther's head got cut, poor baby :(!

Xythnia 09-05-2012 11:21 AM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Congratulations and Great Name (though I am a LITTLE biased...) ^_^

lissa~K 09-05-2012 12:05 PM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
That was a beautiful story, congratulations!

Mags462 09-05-2012 08:15 PM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Congrats Heather!

I :wub: the name Esther - its on my short list if 1. DH ever consents to another and 2. We manage to create a female child :giggle2:

delicatefade 09-05-2012 08:35 PM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Congrats! You have a beautiful story of God's faithfulness :)

momof3boys1girl 09-05-2012 08:48 PM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
congrats!

whitneywalters 09-05-2012 08:51 PM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Congrats!

smilewithme 09-05-2012 08:56 PM

Re: Esther's arrival- the Lord heard the cry of my heart
 
Congratulations!! What a test of patience!


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