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-   -   "I want what you want" (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440931)

TwinMommaplus2 09-07-2012 04:59 PM

"I want what you want"
 
This is my DH's response to more kids... anyone have a SO like this?

I feel like:yay: how much better could this be, right? He would have a baseball team, he LOVES our kids, he supports us and worships the belly! and on the other I kinda want him to REALLY want to pursue that conversation... his thing is I do the "work" here so the majority of responsibility lies with me... but his input is a MUST for me... I guess I just want to hear him say the it the way I need to hear it. Or is it just that easy for him?

Would this be a victory here and I should pat ourselves on the back and get to DTD or would you want the same on the communication end of things?

What do you need to get knocked up?:giggle2: no pun intended :giggle2:

KelseyH 09-07-2012 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwinMommaplus2
This is my DH's response to more kids... anyone have a SO like this?

I feel like:yay: how much better could this be, right? He would have a baseball team, he LOVES our kids, he supports us and worships the belly! and on the other I kinda want him to REALLY want to pursue that conversation... his thing is I do the "work" here so the majority of responsibility lies with me... but his input is a MUST for me... I guess I just want to hear him say the it the way I need to hear it. Or is it just that easy for him?

Would this be a victory here and I should pat ourselves on the back and get to DTD or would you want the same on the communication end of things?

What do you need to get knocked up?:giggle2: no pun intended :giggle2:

That was my DH's go to line until I said "six or more". Then he changed his tune pretty quickly to "uhhh NO". It's something I struggle with, so yes, I would like for him to kind of go back towards the more moderate "whatever you want".
However, I do understand where you're coming from and I think I would want the same thing from my DH if I were in your shoes. But (at least, this is the case with us) my DH is very laid back, very calm and moderate personality, doesn't get easily excited or upset, etc. whereas I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and can be bawling one second and laughing the next (not really, but you get my point). So it's hard for me to accept that it's just his God given personality that he doesn't get THAT excited or enthusiastic or fired up about things (even babies!) as I do.
Just tell him how you feel. :) but to answer your original question, if it was my DH I ultimately wouldn't question it and would have as many babies as possible before he changed his mind. Lol

Erinne 09-07-2012 09:39 PM

Re: "I want what you want"
 
We're in agreement as to how many, but I'm very conflicted as to when to have the next one and dh always just says "whenever you're ready." It is nice, but at the same time, I don't want it to be all my decision because then when it gets hard, it will be all on me 'cause I chose it. I think a lot of women just need to talk things out when we're making decisions, so even if your partners aren't going to make the choice, we want them involved.

waterisntsomething 09-07-2012 09:44 PM

Re: "I want what you want"
 
When SO and I met I only wanted two at most, he wanted way more. Now I want 5 or 6 and he's fine with that. I think He'd be ok with 9 or 10 even but I think after 6 I'll start adopting! :giggle2:

sasra_nu 09-08-2012 07:18 AM

Re: "I want what you want"
 
It took me a long time to get DH wanting #2. Even now, he would never actually say he wants another, but I know he does. I had a chemical in Feb but I still remember the way his face lit up when I told him I had gotten a BFP :cry: So, I definitely don't need him to say he wants it or get excited about it... he didn't really get excited about DD till she was born. I just need him to be willing to DTD. :blush:

I think "I want what you want" is an acceptable answer for a man. :giggle: I mean, you probably DO most of the work, he is probably thinking of you - if YOU think you can handle more, then he is supportive and would like more as long as you still do.

2boysmama 09-08-2012 03:19 PM

Re: "I want what you want"
 
Yep, my dh is the same. Actually, he finally confessed that he kind of would like to have a girl. He is happy with the 3 boys and we go back and forth about whether we want more but ultimately we both want a girl. We said 'up to 6' when we got married and I think we'll stick with that. Some days I think about how nice it would be to be done and just enjoy the 3 we have growing up but then I think about that bfp, telling the boys another baby is coming, nesting, newborns, first steps, first words,....and of course the chance for a girl, and well we aren't trying or preventing right now.

Fashionably Green Baby 09-08-2012 03:24 PM

I WISH my husband was like that. I desperately want more (like yesterday lol) but him not so much. It makes me really sad but it is what it is. I told him that I know I will probably ultimately lose this battle but I am not ready to give up he fight yet. Maybe one day he will come around....I just want all of he kids to be close

geetabean 09-24-2012 08:36 PM

Re: "I want what you want"
 
My husband is totally the same. He's ready to have another baby when I'm ready....if I'm done, then he's fine being done. He's the oldest of 5 siblings, and I am the youngest of 3, so he's very used to a larger sized family and would welcome more babies. But, he also realizes that I'm the primary care giver and that its a bigger commitment for me than for him. He's also not overly enthusiastic.....it takes a lot to get a big reaction from him, so the "I want what you want" response is fine with me! :) This summer I felt like I was totally done with having more kids, DH made an appt. to get a V and then I freaked out and decided that I wanted another one and he canceled the apt. and we're trying for #4! He's a good man!

Mom2Connor 09-25-2012 07:16 AM

Personally speaking, I need DH to want one as much as I do or I would have serious doubts about how much he really wanted another child.

pine_apple_goat 09-25-2012 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mom2Connor
Personally speaking, I need DH to want one as much as I do or I would have serious doubts about how much he really wanted another child.

I feel the same way and as of right now dh doesn't want more. He's happy with one. I'm not.


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