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Caz 09-07-2012 08:31 PM

I tend to over-think things sometimes, so I'm just looking for some opinions...

My younger sister had a little girl about 7 months after I had my DD, and I boxed up and mailed her all of DDs clothes as she outgrew them in her first year. Now, she is having her second girl in December, and I am having another girl also (obviously in Feb). I really want the clothes back. For both financial and sentimental reasons. BUT, we are not planning on telling anyone IRL that we know the gender, so she doesn't know that I'm having a girl.

DH thinks that I should just ask for the clothes back and not worry about it. But I feel like she gets irked easily and I could see her getting annoyed if I ask for the clothes back when I "don't know" that I'll need them.

Would you ask for them back? I also thought about waiting until closer to February and assume/hope that her DD will have outgrown all the newborn clothes by then and ask her to send them then... Thoughts?

Blueberry32 09-07-2012 09:07 PM

Well if it was me I would just ask for them back and not worry about offending her. I see your point though if your not telling anyone the gender. But you could say that you really just want to feel prepared for both a boy or girl and financially it would be a huge help to get those clothes back. I'm assuming though that no one knows you found out the gender? So it would make sense you wanting to prepare for both.

waterisntsomething 09-07-2012 09:29 PM

Re: opinions
I would tell he it's a girl and ask for them back...don't forget to make her swear not to tell anyone!

Ainmemphis 09-07-2012 09:50 PM

I know it may seem awkward but hopefully she will understand these were on loan and you invested in them it only makes sense you would get them back. I think the preparing for both genders is a good response. I think the due dates are so close she's probably not going to have the time/energy to mail all you need once her baby has worn it and may not outgrow the sizes fast enough. I hope she can sympathize as it would be unfair to assume you'd buy a new wardrobe the second time while she uses the borrowed set again. Good luck!

Ainmemphis 09-08-2012 07:12 AM

After thinking about it some I had another thought. You could ask for ask for any gender neutral items and some favorite girl items and explain that even though you aren't sure of the gender you are expecting the clothes back if its a girl. Ask if it would be easier to box them up send them all before she's busy with a newborn or if she wants to take the chance of waiting just be sure she understands you'll need them asap after birth but hopefully you'll have gotten those requested outfits to prepare for the meantime. If you are more worried about causing waves hopefully if would be a gentle enough approach without spilling the beans. I do often find myself in small predicaments when I loan stuff out but I try to remember how it makes me feel when I'm on the receiving end to battle out the frustration. Again good luck!

weesej 09-08-2012 07:16 AM

Re: opinions
Did you make it clear to her that you would want them back when you sent them? Personally I would just go thrift shopping and ask for a few of your favorites. Anything I want to keep for sentimental reasons I don't loan/ give out. However I am very generous with passing on clothes...there just isn't much that I feel are super-special.

brookglen 09-08-2012 08:43 AM

Yeah, I'd probably ask for the really sentimental items back. I can't imagine newborn baby clothing holding up well over the span of two kids.

That being said, you did put purchase the clothing and if it's really important to get it all back then I would be really clear about that. You are not under obligation to divulge any details to her.

abunchoflemons 09-08-2012 08:48 AM

Re: opinions
I lent out portable swing to gal & I just asked 4 it back. I felt bad but I want to have inventory for my feb( I will be with u in feb). We don't know gender so more I know I don't have to buy. I would just kindly ask for it back.

newtocloth2 09-08-2012 01:30 PM

Re: opinions
If you don't want her to know you're having a girl, I'd just say that if you have a girl, you'd like to have your stuff back.

Caz 09-08-2012 08:34 PM

Re: opinions
Thanks for the opinions, I appreciate it!

When I gave her all the clothes, we joked about that fact that if I "went crazy and decided to have another baby", I'd need it all back. I haven't decided what I'll do yet. I don't think it's fair to ask her to pack any of it up and mail it when she has a 4-5 week old baby, she'll have enough on her plate with her 2 girls. Maybe I'll just ask for a few of my favorite NB things back so I can "be prepared" and leave it at that. I'm not sure how much she used, since the seasons were slightly off and I'm positive that she got a ton of clothes as gifts. Eh, we'll see...

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