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TypeAMom 09-08-2012 07:45 PM

Other People's Clutter at Your House - UPDATED
Does anyone have this? I'm going through all of these Barbie hand-me-downs (7 totes full to be exact) and when I mentioned to my sister that I've already gone through most of it and want to schedule for her and my other 2 family members to look through it, she got angry w/ me. She said my niece was really upset about getting rid of stuff and "breaking up the collection." This "collection" is all used, about 30% is broken and a lot of the rest is either missing pieces or too dirty to clean. My daughter will use what I set aside for her (if she's even into Barbies), but why am I being guilted into keeping tons of stuff that I don't want? I know you're all on the path that I'm on, but has anyone faced this before? My sister even said that they don't have the space to store this stuff right now. BTW, MUCH of her space is cluttered w/ stuff they don't need and I don't comment on that, but if she feels like she should get real estate in my attic b/c she's gone past her capacity, that's crazy, right? They even have less family members than we do. Please lmk what you think I should say so that I don't piss off my sister and I don't have unwanted clutter in my attic? Thank you.

So my sister's family has had a lot going on recently which I didn't know about. It even makes sense that my sister didn't want to upset my niece about her getting rid of the Barbies that "are like her childhood." I feel bad that all this stuff has been going on and I want to be supportive, so it looks like I'm stuck w/ the Barbies and that really sucks. It even looks like they'll be moving soon so I don't know how to avoid keeping them. Any ideas?

Palooka 09-08-2012 07:56 PM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House
This is her problem, not yours, and you should tell her so (in your own, very nice way). It was kind of you to even offer the barbies to her. Next time do it when you're on your way to the dump. :neener:

kelpie169 09-08-2012 08:04 PM

We keep doing this. We basically tell whoever wants it that thy have x amount o time to figure out if they want it or where to put t. Otherwise it's getting donated/tossed/whatever. We simply say that we don't have the space to devote to things that OUR family doesn't need. if they take offense--oh well. We usually give a pretty reasonable amount of time-drives me insane cause it's usually about a month. But after that month it's gone and thy can't say we didn't give them time.

sydney 09-08-2012 08:29 PM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House
Does she live by you? If so I would just drop it all off at her house and tell her to do whatever she wants with it and that you do not want it back.

doulamomma 09-08-2012 09:12 PM

Give her until x date to come get it, then donate/throw away if she doesn't pick it up.

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joyful mother 09-08-2012 09:40 PM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House
I second dropping it off at her house for her to decide what to do with. Giving her a time limit still puts it on your plate, still makes you the enforcer. If she doesn't get by, or if she does and then you dump the rest, I can't see this ending anyway but with you as the bad guy. What she does with it really is her responsibility, let her be responable for keeping or dumping.

pgkcb13 09-08-2012 11:35 PM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House
Honestly, personally, with that reaction I wouldn't keep any, I'd drop it all off at her house and say do what you want with it... but that's me :)

meeshkasheeba 09-09-2012 07:46 AM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House

Originally Posted by pgkcb13 (Post 15657635)
Honestly, personally, with that reaction I wouldn't keep any, I'd drop it all off at her house and say do what you want with it... but that's me :)

This is me totally. I don't mind hand me downs, but I don't do guilt trips and I don't keep CRAP. If it is broken or filthy she can deal with that. If her daughter is so attached and it makes mom feel like she needs to be the enforcer then she probably shouldn't have taken away the barbies anyway yet.

I would dump the lot on her front porch stating that you just don't need that much and sense it is such a concern that it all stay together you feel it is best for her to deal with it.

I know she is your sister, but she needs to be respectful. My IL's entire family is like that and we have come to the decision that we just don't take hand me downs or "borrow" anything long term.

smores 09-09-2012 07:46 AM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House
I'm with the people saying don't keep any and just drop it back off at her house.

TypeAMom 09-10-2012 08:15 PM

Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House
Oh you guys, but they were my Barbies, too. Damn emotional attachment! It was my sisters toys, then I was really into them so the collection grew a lot, then my little sister, then my niece who made the collection explode with volume. My niece is a teenager, so she doesn't still use them or anything, but her and my sister take after my mom in the whole, getting way too attached to stuff thing. I feel like I'm trying to be a good sister by respecting what we keep, helping her go through the rest so her house isn't loaded w/ junk and walking on eggshells about the whole topic. I even wanted to go through this stuff a month or 2 before X-Mas so I could bring up the fact that the economy is still bad, so donating good condition toys may be the only way some kids get gifts this year. I just don't want to be disrespectful as they do a lot for me (and I love them) and I know how hard it can be when you have emotions clouding your thoughts. I really don't want to part with all of it just so it'll sit at their house, so do you think it's reasonable to tell her that I'll take what I want (give it back when DD is done with it) and she can have the remaining boxes now to do as she pleases?

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