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Green Decals 09-28-2012 10:55 PM

Anyone NOT have a good relationship with their mother?
Long story short, we're "off again" in our "on again/off again" relationship. I am sick of her trying to control me, tell DH and I what to do, treating my kids like they are puppets, etc. She has zero respect for me, my life, my family's life, or our inability to literally drop what we are doing and come running at her beck and call.

BUT, I feel sucky because I don't want this negative energy while I am pregnant, and I feel like I am the one who always has to make it all better, because Lord knows, she won't. And I want to have a relationship with my dad, which she conveniently also controls. Ick. Am I the only one? I am at that "I don't ever want to speak to her again" point while my heart is breaking for my kids, because she continuously breaks their hearts and yet, I still feel like I have to do everything I can to force a grandparent/grandchild relationship.

corinne76 09-28-2012 11:19 PM

Omg i could have written this. (sorry ddc crashing-but i was due in feb-back in 2011)
My mom was mean. Very mean. Calling me stupid piece of ... Calling my dh a fat .... If she didnt agree with me on things related to dd, she raged at me. Like how i refused to let dd ride the school bus in preschool. She was still 2 yrs at the time. My mom called me every name in the book and said i was going to ruin dd. (by not letting her ride the bus? How?) That was our last big fight. She apologized shortly after saying she was trying to control me how my gma controlled her. She said she woukd change.
I never got the chance to know if she would. A couple weeks later she passed away from septic shock. She went to the er Saturday morning and died sunday morning. That was 2 yrs ago october.
I never cried. Not when she died, not at her funeral. I felt so much guilt for not really being sad. But the way she treated me, i was almost relieved to not have to deal with it anymore.
It took over a yr for me to miss her.
Point is, if you care, talk to her about how she makes yoi feel. It cant hurt to try. If she doesnt want to make an effort, well its up to you if you want to keep her in your life. Thats a lot of negative energy going towards your kids too.
Good luck. I know how hard it is when thw one making you feel like crap is the one who is supposed to be uplifting you

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