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-   -   Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1448909)

Michelle_M 09-30-2012 01:11 PM

Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
I am really annoyed at a church member. I'm not sure how to handle it. Advice please...

So my little girl is just over 2 weeks old. I went to church today and kept her in the sanctuary with me. She wanted to nurse, so I nursed her. I was COMPLETELY covered THE WHOLE TIME with a blanket. Nothing showing.. EVER! After church, one of the ladies came up to me and asked if she could talk to me to "make a suggestion." I said "Ok, sure. What's up?" She said that she's all for BFing, and she's glad that I'm BFing my daughter, but for modesty's sake I should go nurse in the bathroom. I said "For modesty's sake, I was COMPLETELY covered up. I wasn't doing anything wrong." She said that therer is a "time and a place for it" and the church sanctuary "Is NOT that place." Again I repeated that I was completely covered, and not doing anything wrong or dirty. Her response to THAT was that "Some of the men have said that it makes them uncomfortable." Well... I don't know WHEN the men would have been able to say that to her, because I was nursing during service, and she approached me RIGHT AFTER the service, and this was the first time I had nursed in servce. When I had Bella at church last week I nursed in the nursery before the service.

Here is my stance... my breasts were put on my body BY GOD to nurse my baby. I understand that some people have issues with BFing due to the sexualization of breasts... so even though I don't think there is anything wrong with nursing without a cover, I use one when in certain company (like church members). Our nursery doesn't get a feed from the auditorium, so if I left to nurse, I'd miss the sermon. What is the point in me coming to church, if I can't listen to the sermon? So I feel that I did nothing wrong, and I shouldn't expect to have to leave the sermon to feed my child, if I am doing so in a respectful manner.

At the end of our conversation, this woman said "Ok, well, you do whatever you feel is right, I was just suggesting that for modesty's sake and for the comfort of others you should excuse yourself." And then she walked away.

I'm not gonna lie.. I am super ticked off. If I am expected to leave to nurse, then there is no point in me even going. I told my husband that I will look into getting an actual nursing cover, to make the nursing a little more discreet than messing with a blanket that I have to put my head under to get her latched. My husband says to just ignore her unless my pastor approaches me.

I know that, as Christians, we are supposed to be sensitive to the feelings of those around us and making them comfortable, but I also felt that she was out of line in suggesting that I was doing something wrong by nursing in church. I want to just let it go and ignore her.. but then what do I do if she brings it up again next week? Do I not wait at all and contact my pastor and tell him what happened and how I feel, and see what HIS take on it is? Do I just ignore her and go about my business unless she says something else again next week?

Sorry this is long... thanks if you made it this far!

God bless!

Fishie Kisses 09-30-2012 01:16 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
I have no advice, but have also nursed during church. Completely covered...they saw less skin while I was nursing than with the clothes I was wearing! I never had anyone say anything, but I don't think you did anything wrong.

snugglesnsunshine 09-30-2012 01:22 PM

I nurse in church all the time, covered of course. If she says something again, tell her if it bothers her so much, SHE can go sit in the bathroom while your baby nurses.
I wouldn't bring a pastor in it if it were me. Could become a big stink.
Keep doing what you're doing WITH confidence and she'll likely back off.

Puppydog 09-30-2012 01:24 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
By all means contact the pastor! She was way out of line! Who made her the boobie police? You did nothing wrong at all. She is being a busy body. Contact your pastor, ask his feelings so that if and when she starts with you again you can tell her you have the pastors support.

iwiamandaiwi 09-30-2012 01:28 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
i can't believe she would ask you to feed your child in the bathroom :yuck: I personally would ignore her and continue with what i was doing. if she had the nerve to say somthing to you again i would lose the cover. it is your right to bf in public and nourish your baby. There is no reason for anyone to be uncomforatable that is what GOD put breasts on your body for, not for sex!

KaleidoscopeEyes 09-30-2012 01:30 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
i would def discuss this with the pastor and if she ever brought it up again tell her to take it up with him.

qsefthuko 09-30-2012 01:45 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
You can tell her your pretty sure Abraham didn't send his wife away to hide out in the bush when she breastfed Isaac. Not only that but breastfeeding is mentioned several times in the bible. I am pretty sure God is quite comfortable with women breastfeeding their babies.

tibeca 09-30-2012 02:58 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
God gave you breasts to feed your baby. I'm pretty sure that God wouldn't mind, even if you nursed without a cover!

l_Kimmie_l 09-30-2012 03:18 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
Seriously, I would tell her to go sit in the bathroom. Why would any god who gave you a means to feed your child not allow you to do so during a service to celebrate it? Makes no sense. Some chic is insecure and does not want her DH to see a boob.

iwiamandaiwi 09-30-2012 03:20 PM

Re: Annoyed at church member regarding her statement to me on BFing....Advice?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by l_Kimmie_l (Post 15751408)
Seriously, I would tell her to go sit in the bathroom. Why would any god who gave you a means to feed your child not allow you to do so during a service to celebrate it? Makes no sense. Some chic is insecure and does not want her DH to see a boob.

:thumbsup:


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