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EmilytheStrange 10-01-2012 03:11 PM

Double Birthday Parties
I keep getting invited to birthday parties for multiple kids.
I see the draw - you share the expense and people who know you both don't have to spend time at 2 parties.

but the people who only know you........... I keep buying a gift for the other kid too and I'm sorta tired of it. I don't know this kid, but it seems rude to bring a gift for 1 and not the other kid. So, I do, but it's getting expensive for random strangers that I don't know and don't usually have time to bond with during a birthday party.

the alternative is just don't go.. but parties are fun (debateable)!

what do you do? Do you always take gifts for both kids? Do you just take a gift for the kid you know? Do you do what I think I'm gonna do and just get the kid I know a gift and skip the party and have a playdate? lol

threelittlehoneys 10-01-2012 03:13 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
I'd just buy a gift for the child I knew, and give a card to the other. They are getting a ton of gifts, they aren't even going to realize who most of them are from, especially if it's a big party. Which it sounds like they are.

stevensmom 10-01-2012 03:16 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
wow...never heard of such a thing. But I would only give a gift to the kid I knew. Or do a small small $5 gift for the other kid.

:hugs: I could see how that could get tiresome.

luvsviola 10-01-2012 03:19 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
If I've never met the other kid, I would probably not bring a gift for that child.

EmilytheStrange 10-01-2012 03:30 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
thanks, that makes me feel better :)

the last party, you have a parent helping a 1yo open the gifts and she has no clue who I am - 'Emily?' and I have to wave.. and really?

but I hate to just not go for the mom and kid that I DO know.

I think I'll just get a gift for the 1 kid this time then.

Mom2Connor 10-01-2012 04:07 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
Bring a gift for the kid you know.

If you are bored, look up my thread from here back in July about my family members deciding (without discussing it with me first) that when they came down to celebrate my DS's birthday, they were going to celebrate their DD's birthday at the same time. At my house. At my DS's birthday. To be fair, it was my mother and her sister who is GM to the other child who planned this. Not the childs parents. It was a MESS and I was very upset because I don't care for joint birthday parties and no one even asked about it. The party went off ok, but I had already invited other people (outside the family) and I know it was a little awkward for them. One backed out at the last minute, I don't know if her reason was valid or if she felt obligated to buy a second gift and couldn't afford it, etc.

As the PARENT though, I would not have expected people to buy for both kids since they didn't know the other child. And I felt really bad because I felt like I had to let my friends know that another kid was going to be there, so I made sure to mention that a gift for the other child was unnecessary and she would have plently of gifts from "her" side of the family.

Both kids were opening presents at the same time basically, (which was fine) so honestly no one would have even noticed that person A and B only bought for kid #2, YKWIM?

FlyingMama 10-01-2012 04:51 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
We had a double birthday party for my DD2 in May with her best friend. They were turning 2, their birthdays are 1 week apart, and they have all the same friends and are in the same classes. So it worked well for us.

So anyway, there is no need to buy a gift or a card for the child that you don't know.

kaimon 10-01-2012 06:24 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
We do double birthday parties. DD and her best friend have the same brithday and up until recently went to the same daycare. We didn't want them competing for guests or missing each others party so we do the birthdays together. We've done three that way now.

We never expect gifts from the guests who only know the friend. Well we never expect gifts period, but it's never been an issue. The ones who know both generally bring something for both but otherwise they only bring for the child they know.

megkmc 10-01-2012 06:36 PM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
We do a double birthday party for my 5 yo dd and her BFF. If someone is a friend or family member of just one kid, then they just get a present for the one kid.

Personally, since her BFF has lots of family in the area and we have only one or two "family friends" that we invite, the other girl always gets more presents, but my daughter doesn't even know. We put all the presents in one big pile and open split them up to open after the party at home. It is never awkward for us and I wouldnt want all the extra presents either!

Bear Family 10-02-2012 08:32 AM

Re: Double Birthday Parties
As the pp have said just bring one gift for the kid you know.

I have my kids bdays together (g/b who just turned 3 and 9) on the invites, for the people that know both the kids like family and close friends I put both names on the invite. For my daughter's friends who she wanted to invite I only put her name on the invite since they don't know my son.

When I was 11 or 12, my friend and I had a party together, our bdays are 2 days apart. The party was at her house, it was our friends, and mostly her family, my family didnt live near so only my mom and sister were there for me. We both got gifts, but none of her family brought gifts for me and I didn't think it was wrong, or rude and it didn't bother me at all.

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