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-   -   Lost toy at sitter's house, advice? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1449579)

hishouseholdsix 10-02-2012 07:08 AM

Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
Hey ladies! I'm new here but this has kind of been weighing on my mind, maybe y'all can tell me if I have any right to still be upset, lol.

This summer our regular sitter moved away with her family, and I haven't felt comfortable having someone new in our house yet, so when DH wanted to go to a concert last weekend I found someone who offers care from her home. My DS has not been away from me often and doesn't deal well with new places/new people so I let him bring two of his wooden Thomas trains to her house as a kind of comfort thing. The boy is REALLY into Thomas and carries engines around the house all the time, he almost always has one in his hand. Well, I'm sure as you can guess, one of the trains wound up missing. When I came to pick the kids up he had one in one hand and in his other hand he had a train he had found there. We searched for 20+ minutes for the train. Finally I just asked her to text me when she found it, because the missing train happened to be his favorite. Four days passed with no word at all from her, not even an update saying that she had looked and not found it. I texted her yesterday morning and didn't get a reply, so I sent her a Facebook message. This morning I get a text saying she has looked everywhere and that he must have hidden it really well.

Now I know that I took a risk by letting him take his trains there in the first place, but he is really good about keeping track of his toys. He never hides things or puts them in strange places, especially his trains. He has been walking around the house asking about his train since we got home, and I feel awful that his favorite train is missing. Should I just write it off as a loss? The lady seems to be uninterested in helping me find it, but I feel like if it was me in the situation I would feel awful about it and be doing everything I could to help. I keep thinking that maybe if we go back over there, he might remember what he did with it. I'm just looking for a little insight from other mamas, thanks for reading all my rumblings! :)

Mom2Connor 10-02-2012 07:11 AM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
We have some Thomas trains, I know they aren't cheap.

That said, there have been lots of discussions on this forum about these types of situations (usually with more expensive things, like a DS and whatnot) and it's always split two ways. The "what would I do" (look hard until it turns up) and the "shouldn't have let him take it over there" train of thought.

Honestly, I'd write it off as a lesson learned. Buy a new train, and I wouldn't use her as a sitter again. Not because she didn't find the lost toy, but because she doesn't seem to care to even look for it.

monkeymama07 10-02-2012 07:35 AM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
Id stock it as a loss as much as it sucks

My rule is - your kids bring toys at your own risk. But ALL my daycare kids are boys and I have a boy of my own and my roommate has two boys. So alot of the same toys and Im not going to keep track.

Would I look for a toy a kid lost sure... but Im not going to lose sleep over it. I dont know about her house but I have - a train table with 60 or 70 trains, along with a fully stocked playroom so it may not be that "easy" not to mention there are like 50 bins of toys on shelves it could be anywhere :/

In a way she did help you stayed 20 minutes looking for it. If her house isnt a disaster that means you looked all the obvious spots so it must be somewhere random and if she has little kids they may have done it even it happens.

Ive found toys in really weird spots.

abunchoflemons 10-02-2012 07:46 AM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
Can u request her to ask if it went home with someone else or 4 u to call them? We missed a bib & it just went home with another kid. It wasn't a toy but a grandma like friend made it so it was special like right b4 she died. I would do anything in my power for finding it.

Geckmumto3 10-02-2012 07:48 AM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeymama07 (Post 15758314)
Id stock it as a loss as much as it sucks

My rule is - your kids bring toys at your own risk. But ALL my daycare kids are boys and I have a boy of my own and my roommate has two boys. So alot of the same toys and Im not going to keep track.

Would I look for a toy a kid lost sure... but Im not going to lose sleep over it. I dont know about her house but I have - a train table with 60 or 70 trains, along with a fully stocked playroom so it may not be that "easy" not to mention there are like 50 bins of toys on shelves it could be anywhere :/

In a way she did help you stayed 20 minutes looking for it. If her house isnt a disaster that means you looked all the obvious spots so it must be somewhere random and if she has little kids they may have done it even it happens.

Ive found toys in really weird spots.

This. I am sorry your DS has lost his train. I always tell my kids not to bring anything anywhere if they aren't ok with losing it. It's hard, but things get lost.

keen1981 10-02-2012 08:17 AM

Yes, it's a loss. You just gotta move on.

As he gets older he's less likely to keep an iron grip on them and set them down to get a drink, use the potty, look at something else. They will get lost. Never ever ever leave the house with something that could get lost and counts as a lovey.lol.

My friends son brings something Everytime he comes here. He's 6. Annoys me like crazy. He will bring the finest trinkets from one of those $.50 machines, lose it and then ask me about it for months. I do look for it but beyond the initial look thru theres not much I am going to do.

I would return it when it turned up. That's likely weeks, not days.

Now if it was a blanket or larger you, maybe. But I have a tons of toys. I'm not dumping 20 bins to look for a tiny spider. Kwim?

So it's a lesson and loss. Sadly. But no ones fault. I would still use the sitter for sure.

canadianbakers 10-02-2012 09:01 AM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
Does she have kids of her own that were there, too? If so, I'd be assuming one of them decided they liked the train and hid it to keep for themselves.
Not much you can do about it either way, really. Just an unfortunate consequence of taking things around to others' houses.

rumblepurr 10-02-2012 09:31 AM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
We lost 4 Thomas trains at my MIL house. We looked for 3 days straight before we left to fly home, and could not find them. She doesn't have a crazy house or other toys, and no other kids were over during our stay. She found them a YEAR later when she was pulling out tablecloths to find the special Thanksgiving one. One of the boys had wrapped up his trains and put them to bed, in a drawer full of tablecloths! He had never done that before, so I didn't think it was a possibility.
Trains are especially easy to lose and hard to find. I deconstructed my mom's living room to locate a train that had rolled under a couch and then under a shelf. If I hadn't seen it go under I would never have found it!
:hugs: I know how expensive it is to lose Thomas trains, but it's not the providers fault and she could have been systematically looking for it without giving you updates. I wouldn't be giving daily "updates" about a lost toy until a least a week of looking for it went by, unless of course you stressed how much of a lovey it was to the child, and called looking for updates, begging to know if you needed to buy the toy so your kid could sleep at night.

tesslouise 10-02-2012 09:38 AM

My daughter can lose toys in our house in unbelievable ways...I found a missing puzzle piece in the frame of the couch after more than a year! It's frustrating, but it happens.

escapethevillage 10-02-2012 12:28 PM

Re: Lost toy at sitter's house, advice?
 
I'd also call it a loss, and look for a new used one on Ebay, then when it comes back, tell him you found it.

It's not going to be his first lost toy. Eventually, he will leave one at a restaurant or someplace on a vacation. Toys get lost.


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