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crunchymamaNY 10-08-2012 06:28 AM

WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
I'm currently an LPN. I'm actually a nurse simply because my husband pushed me into going to school to be one. He told me I'm really good at caring for people, and that nurses make good money, and we'd be set for life if I chose a career like this. I actually like being a nurse though. I worked in obstetrics in an office with midwives and OBGYN's. I liked it a lot there and was treated very nice. Then, I got pregnant (as well as many other details I won't get into), and our practice was bought out by the local hospital. All of a sudden, my hours got really bad, my new boss was horrible, and kept transferring me to other dr offices where I didn't want to work, then she just stopped scheduling me! On top of that, because I was an LPN and not an RN, I only received a portion of pay compared to teh RN's who were getting a lot more pay for doing teh same thing I was.

So my husband said I should go to school to finish my RN. Sadly, there are a ton of prereq's to do before I'm actually "accepted" into the nursing program there! I have 4 kids, and I've now been in college for 1.5 years trying to finish the stupid prereqs, and still have another 1.5 year to go, and this was supposed to be a 2 year program!!! I hate going back to school. I miss my kids, and I'm frustrated all the time. I'm getting all A's in my classes except for the science classes, and those are the ones that really count. If I don't get at least a B average, I won't be accepted into the program. I tried to explain this to my husband but he won't listen. He thinks I just don't want it enough.

I'm super frustrated, because he's the one that really wants me to go to school, and I don't want to let him down. But, I'm so frustrated and because of this, I'm suffering at school.

What I really really really want to do with my life is own a store that sells baby and mothering products. I want to sell cloth diapers, organic/go green items, unique baby clothing, nursing items, and more. I don't want to end there. I want to have a store that also has extra rooms that offer birthing classes, yoga for mommies, nursing classes, LLL, and a room to have baby showers in. I know I'd be successful, and really love this idea because there is no other store like it, especially around here! I won't tell you what I want to name it because I don't want it to be taken LOL! But, it's hip, and it's catchy, and you'd love it!

My husband won't let me venture this idea because of cost. We could never afford this, but I told him we could start out small, and I could just sell cloth diapers, custom clothing, unique items that other stores don't offer. He won't let me.

I'm sad, and not doing that well in my science class. It's Anatomy and Physiology, and I need to get 2 A's to bring my average up again, or else it's not high enough to get into the program. I'm trying so hard, but I'm struggling. My husband thinks I'm blowing this on purpose so I don't have to work, but that's not it at all. He makes me feel like I'm letting him down, and that's not what I'm trying to do at all.

I'm sorry, this was longer than I expected. Thanks for reading my rant. I just don't know what to do. I'm disappointing my kids by not being there because I have to study. It takes me several hours to study each day, and I have a toddler, as well, so I am always surrounded by kids, and I don't wish to leave them more than I have to. I told my husband that perhaps I should wait to go back to school til they are older and he said no.

madebymommy 10-08-2012 06:38 AM

Okay, first of all, its not up to your husband what you do with your schooling. He isn't the one doing the work, he's sitting back nitpicking you and that's not right. He's not your father, he's your partner. If your heart isn't in school, then you are wasting money and time better sepnt with your young children. Ultimately the cd business is a decision you have to make together, but I think its downright disrespectful that he is to do something that you are clearly not all into. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him how you really feel about pursuing the RN. Hugs!

crunchymamaNY 10-08-2012 06:44 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
Thanks mama. I totally agree that the business is something we'd have to agree on especially since it would be a huge financial chance. Something that would make or brake us financially you know? Even still, I'd love to be home til all my kids are in school, and just continue my home business making cloth diapers, diaper cakes, and other homemade items. I was actually making good money doing this a few years back, and loved being home with my babies!! My business worked around their schedule. I can't do that with school/work. My school is an all or nothing sort of thing. I can't just study around them because I need it super quiet for around 3-4 hours, and that doesn't happen with 4 kids and a needy husband.

pumkinsmommy 10-08-2012 06:49 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
This is a tough spot for you.:hugs: I would suggest taking a 'break' from school to re-evaluate what you really want to do. Go back to work as an LPN, which is never going to pay as well as an RN. However, in a nursing home I think you could earn a lot more than in a Dr's office. Then you could start planning your next phase. Maybe you could rent a little space in a local shop to sell some things. Once you are working again, you can pay off any debt from school and save for your store. You can do it, but it will have to be step by step.

evasimone 10-08-2012 06:53 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
What does your husband do for his work? Is want to kill my DH if he was dictating that I go back to school so we "can be set for life" unless he was holding himself to the same standards and working his butt off to get into a career that paid well.

That being said I agree that you should do the LPN to RN transition. It makes sense and it will be something you can always fall back on. I am a little confused about why its taking you so long? Their are a ton of LPN to RN programs that are much shorter, even some online ones.

As for the diaper store it sounds great but I'd be wary. The truth is the successful small businesses are the exception rather than the rule. But that doesn't mean I don't think you should follow your dreams. If I was you I'd sit down with your husband and explain how important the small business dream is to you and that if you do the RN thing to make him happy he needs to let you follow your small business dream.

holly6737 10-08-2012 06:58 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
Do you like nursing, as a career? Aside from the schooling part, I mean. Do you see yourself being a nurse for the next 20-30 years of your life?

crunchymamaNY 10-08-2012 08:12 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
Yes, I do like nursing. I'm just having a lot of troubles passing my science portion that comes with it. I have a C-D in my A&P course, and I need an A-B to get into the program. As for why it's taking so long....I tried asking the same question, and they said sometimes with all the prereqs needed it just takes all that time to get there. I can't do RN fully online as I also will have to do clinicals. Otherwise, I prob would have done a fully online school....but I will look into that more.

As for my husband, he does factory work. Right now, he makes decent money, but not enough to get us past the paycheck to paycheck phase of our lives. We def need 2 incomes. I would consider myself somewhat successful when I made and sold cloth diapers, and diaper cakes. I know that if I worked hard, I could potentially do well with a store.

I don't know what I want to do "when I grow up" LOL! I'm just super frustrated right now. I am at my last pre-req before getting into the school. My husband thinks I should go to school part time, but we live in a small apartment, and I want to hurry and finish so we can move out and into a house again.

I'm rambling. And now my kids are fighting, so I'll visit here later.

ohgirlohboyohno 10-08-2012 08:34 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
Sounds like you have a lot of "want" and desire to do this...but throw in your struggles with finding the time to study (with little kids - totally understandable) and add in DH nagging on you all the all gets frustrating and the "desire" disappears :(

I would tell DH - a real heart to heart - that you DO want to provide for the family and that you ARE trying to work hard....but that when makes comments about how long it is taking, or how your grades are it brings your "Desire" down because if he thinks those things what are you expected to think?....if he took the time to praise your accomplishments and support you in your struggles you could do SOOO much more. Also...let him know that while doing the RN is a GREAT choice for career you do still have the desire to start a business....which may not happen today or even in the next 5 years....but youstill want to have that dream and want him to consider it as well.

Rockinmama24 10-08-2012 08:52 AM

It looks like you're in NY. Did you look in to Excelsiors online LPN to RN ADN program?

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boysniris 10-08-2012 09:01 AM

Re: WWYD? Stuck thinking I'm going to school for nothing
I'm not all that familiar with nursing programs, but is there any way that you could see a tutor to help bring up your A+P grade?

Otherwise I think you have A LOT on your plate right now. My advice is to really try and think about what you can do right now, what you want to do, what you want for the future, and what you can do to help you get to where you want to be. I think it's great your DH is being supportive, but it also sounds like he's being kind of pushy. What can he do to help out at home and with the kids so that you can bring up your grades?

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