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EmilytheStrange 10-09-2012 01:10 PM

Lesson in futility or persistence?
okay, so at about 21 months, I tried to potty train. She pooped in the potty, but had a million pee accidents and I decided she wasn't really ready.

Now she's just turned 2 about 2 weeks ago. She's been very interested in the potty, asking to sit on it (although not doing anything in it), telling us before she poops sometimes, definitely telling us after she poops (most of the time) and is much more verbal than she was previously.

So, yesterday, I put her in panties. We had about 12 accidents throughout the day. All of which were somewhat expected, I guess, for the first day. We had an indident where she had poop hanging out of her butt twice and would not would not would not push it out. She was so upset saying 'all done, all done'. We did everything we could to keep her on the potty, reading, singing, playing 20questions, etc. But it did not work. The first event, she pooped her pants shortly thereafter. The second event was at night and she's really smart, so she figured out from naptime that she gets a diaper to sleep in, so she was just begging to go to bed. We got her ready and put her in a diaper, which she promptly filled with poop.

should note that she did pee in the potty after naptime yesterday and then a little bit once last night.

fast forward to today. We end up with just as many pee accidents all morning long. Then 1 pee in the potty before naptime (hey - that's quicker than yesterday!!) and then she runs upstairs, gets in DH's closet and poops. I change her, we put the poop in the potty, we put on new panties and go upstairs to brush our teeth for naptime. When I lay her down to put on her diaper, she has a little bit of pee in the new panties too.

Am I just pushing something that she's just not ready for? I mean, I can handle the accidents - they suck, but we have all hardwoods downstairs, so it's doable. But she's never ran and hid to poop before. It seems that potty training is backfiring.

I'm okay with continuing through the 3day process because I've seen enough reports of 'it just clicks on the 3rd day' to think that maybe something magical will happen tomorrow.

but I'm really disheartened right now :(

hpfgirl 10-09-2012 01:57 PM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
Oh, she's ready. I think you are probably dealing with typical poop issues.

You need to do a naked day where you watch her like a hawk and run her to the potty as she starts to go (pee and poo). Once you "catch" that first poo on the potty it gets easier.

If you know she's waiting for the nap diaper to poo, just don't give her one. Your best bet with this one is to get rid of all diapers all at once.

If she does the poop in the closet thing, tell her, "Poop in the closet is no good. You're a big girl and you can put your poop in the potty now."

After naked day, let her run around in pants or shorts without undies. They can feel too much like a diaper at first. After a month or so, you can try undies again.

EmilytheStrange 10-09-2012 02:13 PM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
thanks, it's nice to hear that it sounds like she's ready and I'm not jumping the gun.

When I tried at 21 months, we went for naked time and it didn't make a lick of difference to her. She peed all over the floor. Both my husband and I agree from staring at her and her crotch all day yesterday that she makes no signs before she starts pee or poop. Except now she's hiding for poop.

I've been watching her like crazy and I tell her to 'stop' and we run to the potty and put her on and she holds it. Then as soon as she's off the potty, she pees. We keep her on there for awhile too, we have several books in there.

Atleast it sounds like I'm not pushing too early :) thanks

hibiscus869 10-09-2012 05:13 PM

She is totally capable. She'll get it, don't worry :) Whenever we had sitting on the potty without producing we would say, "Oh well, that was good practice!" Or, "Just practice? Ok maybe next time." Sometimes we'd have a lot of 'practice' episodes within a few minutes and THEN we'd have a result. I think they're still learning their signals. I never felt like my kids gave ANY signs they were about to go that I noticed. That's why I took the potty with us EVERYWHERE and whisked it under them as soon as they started to go. I mean we took it to the mailbox for a while. My DH joked I needed to attach purse straps to it. But it works! Good luck, don't get discouraged. :)

EmilytheStrange 10-09-2012 05:39 PM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
thanks :) I need the encouragement

I was very very close to just putting her back in diapers by the end of today.

but then she's pee'd in the potty twice. She's also had a couple accidents, but atleast some pee is actually being deposited in the potty. When she actually pees, she wants to stay in there and read for like an hour. When she's refusing to pee, she's fighting and saying 'all done all done!'.

I think atleast one thing about parenting should be easy. And I'd take potty training :)

hpfgirl 10-09-2012 11:13 PM

I thought potty training was fun, but I had tons of help from hubby and the in-laws. I think it's standard for mom to be exhausted.

Bhavana 10-10-2012 05:27 AM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
Is there any spot for her to squat and pee? Because that position invariable produces urine if they havent gone for 30-45mins. And she might actually poop too that way. Sitting on the potty does not give as much of a squeeze as does a squat.

Maybe the tub drain?

Once she has the realisation that she can pee easily there, she might end up preferring that but you can get her back on the potty after she's pee trained.

EmilytheStrange 10-10-2012 10:24 AM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
she has a habit of putting her feet up on the toilet seat, so she has been putting herself in a squatting position. It's not a long term plan - I don't want her putting her feet on public toilets, but it theoretically helps now.

she's still only actually gone pee in the potty 3 times over 2 days though.

but we had 13 accidents the first day and 7 the second. I don't know if that just means I gave her less liquids or what.

Shimpie 10-10-2012 12:10 PM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
Sounds like you're doing great, Mama. Our DD's are the same age and it seems we're on a similar potty training schedule. We started about one month ago. The first week or so, DD had maybe one or two sucessful pees in the potty and just as many accidents as you've reported. I was doing laundry everyday for a couple weeks because all her shorts and pants got wet. Slowly, but surely, the number of accidents have decreased. It's been learning feat for both of us. DD is learning how to control her body functions and I'm learning how long she can last. It is not a three day process.

I've learned to suggest going potty every 45 minutes. Sometimes she resists, and I give her 5 more minutes to play. If it's longer than an hour, she'll have an accident. This past Thursday and Friday, DD only had one accident. We even did a 2.5 hour car ride to Mimi's house without an accident. I pulled over every 45 minutes and had her pee in the potty that I keep in the back of the station wagon. The weekend was another story. She was over stimulated while playing with her cousin and had several accidents.

My DD is tiny and fiercely independent. She pushes me away and screams when she wants to do things herself. I have to step back and let her do everything like taking off her pants and underwear, even if the struggle upsets her and results in an accident. A big breakthrough for us was once DD got proficient at taking her pants and underwear off, she wanted to be get on the potty herself. (She prefers the toilet with a reducer ring.) The stepstool to get up to toilet was just 2 inches too short. I put big books under the stool and that made all the difference. Her accidents reduced greatly after that.

In this whole month of potty training, only a few poops have made it in potty. We're getting there. DD doesn't hide, but she'll tell me she's already gone poop or she's in the process of pooping. We'll run to potty and not make it in time. I hear poop in the potty comes a little later for some kids.

Good luck and keep up the hard work. Make it fun for your DD. We do potty dances, potty songs, and even a rare piece of candy.

EmilytheStrange 10-10-2012 01:04 PM

Re: Lesson in futility or persistence?
that's encouraging.. I'm just flat out discouraged right now.

you talk about your DD actually peeing in the potty. She won't. If I take her 20x a day, she will maybe pee 1-2x.

we've reduced the number of accidents, but the last one was HUGE. Because she's learning to hold it.

I just can't get her to understand that it goes in the potty.

or something.

I must be a horrible teacher or she's not ready and I don't know what to do. this is not fun. We're stuck in the house and we both want to go ride her bike, go to the park, etc.

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