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mapleleaf88 10-10-2012 11:47 AM

midwife vs. OB WWYD?
I had my first midwife appointment today and I don't know how I feel about it. they both seemed very nervous and not confident at all. They mentioned that, since my last baby was 10 lbs, 12 oz at 41+3, they would not let me go passed 40 weeks since after that point "babies are just getting fat in there". She suggested that I join weight watchers and try to lose done weight because I'm slightly over their bmi limit. She told me that I'm more than likely going to get GD and have to be transferred to an OB, and if that doesn't happen then I'll have high blood pressure and have to be transferred for that reason. She didn't at all seem confident in her ability to provide me with care or birth my giant baby.
But I've very much wanted a midwife this go around and I love their model of care (although, to be honest, she doesn't seem to be following it... Inducing me because my baby might be too big?! And after I've dreadfully birthed an almost-11 Kb baby without even a tear? I know that my body can do this!)
My OB was awesome, and was willing to let me go as long as I wanted as long as I got regular NST's and ultrasound to make sure baby was okay. Her approach to my care was very open and honest and I felt very in control of everything. She was funny and kind and I didn't feel that I was ever rushed through an appointment. I love her. At the end if my pregnancy she injured her back and needed surgery, so I didn't see her then. Also, if she isn't on call when I go into labor then whoever is at the hospital delivers my baby. There is one doctor that both my husband (with my stepson), and my sister have had awful experiences with, and I would be devastated if he were on call when I went in.
So would you stick with the midwife and hopefully you can get over the negativity and build confidence in each other, or go back to your OB?

Junipervt 10-10-2012 12:09 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
can you look for a different MW? when I was preg w/ my DD I interviewed 3 different HBMWs & picked the one I liked best.

pingdeft 10-10-2012 12:40 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
DDC, I would look at another midwife. The one you interviewed sounded a little intervention crazy. WW while pregnant?! WW made me cancel my membership because I was pregnant and I am in the overweight BMI. If your gut is saying no to her (and I think it is), then I would look somewhere else.

delicatefade 10-10-2012 12:45 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
I would keep looking or go back to your OB.

evasimone 10-10-2012 12:50 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
I would keep looking. She doesn't sound like she'll be able to provide you with the care you need.

EmilytheStrange 10-10-2012 01:24 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
I would stay with your old OB.

They are just labels. Your OB made you comfortable and happy and went with your wishes instead of pushing things on you. That's the point. Perhaps she could be a midwife if she wanted a cut in pay, but it sounds like she's the ideal person to monitor a pregnancy - regardless of what it says after the comma after her name.

I had a midwife with DD because the OBs were not like this. and the midwife was like this. I personally don't care which one I see this time as long as I get the same level of care and respect for my birth plan (I cannot choose the same midwife as we're military and we've moved).

ETA: as for the on call thing, I guess I don't particularly worry about this since I am not guaranteed anyone no matter what. In fact, I don't even get transferred to the hospital where my VBAC will hopefully happen until 36 weeks, so there will be no relationship there. but if it bothers you, I'd talk to your OB about it. I know my midwife gave me her personal cell number so that I could call her if I went into labor and she wasn't there. She didn't have to do that, but she knew how concerned I was. Talk to your OB. Perhaps she will be willing to do the same. Maybe not. But you can ask.

canadianbakers 10-10-2012 02:57 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange (Post 15794360)
They are just labels. Your OB made you comfortable and happy and went with your wishes instead of pushing things on you. That's the point. Perhaps she could be a midwife if she wanted a cut in pay, but it sounds like she's the ideal person to monitor a pregnancy - regardless of what it says after the comma after her name.

Totally agree with that.

I would either go back to your OB, or I would search around for a different midwife. But either way, this MW does not sound like a good fit for you.
A care provider talking about induction, not going past 40 weeks, probable transfer of care, and telling a mama to lose weight while pregnant?!! That's just ridiculous. Not anything a good care provider would do, in any of those instances.
(FWIW, I have heard that if a woman is quite overweight, they are okay with seeing no weight gain during pregnancy, and even okay with some loss - but being okay with it and recommending it are 2 very different things, imo.)

I have had bad experiences with all 4 local MWs. They work in 2 teams of 2 MWs, I was with one team with DS1's pregnancy, and tried the other team with DS2's pregnancy. Both bad experiences.
They outright refused to do what I was asking or listen to my concerns, and they got very rude and beligerant with DH and I when we asked questions or didn't do everything they ordered.

My OB, otoh, has never done anything other than what I ask/request. He listens to me and lets me have control of my own care, making my decisions with his imput. That is a good provider.

mibarra 10-10-2012 03:07 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
I would look for a different midwife or go back to you OB. If you like the care your OB provided, does it matter about the title? :) And I think with midwifes the same thing is true about on call, so you could end up with one you hate for your delivery there too...

abunchoflemons 10-10-2012 03:14 PM

Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
I would go back to ob. I was matched with one with my first & I went back to for next 2 now.

4dramamama 10-10-2012 04:37 PM

I've experienced stupid Intervention-crazy OB, awesome OB, and awesome midwife. My concern is always delivery. I can find an OB that listens, cares and respects me but if everyone in the practice doesn't behave this way then what's the point. In a hospital even the attending nurses change moment to moment and they can affect my delivery for better or worse.

I would personally find a practice where everyone in the call schedule respects my desires and comforts my concerns. In my opinion, this is not possible with a hospital OB since the nurses are a huge factor, unless the hospital is extraordinarily small with little employee turnover. Since you are interested in midwifery care you could try to find a practice where you can meet all the people who share call. I'd choose the team of care providers who will be most likely to facilitate a peaceful, low-intervention birth.

Is there something in your medical records from your other pregnancy that would have made you high risk? Also, fwiw, congrats on birthing a jumbo baby! That's great! Something to consider, of course an OB will be more comfortable delivering a larger baby since the OB is a trained surgeon who has other means of delivering besides vaginally.

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