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-   -   Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1454210)

ArmyWifeBethany 10-15-2012 07:14 PM

Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
Ok, a little background:

I had a great pregnancy. No morning sickness, no problems, it was perfect...until it wasn't. I had my DD at 38 weeks (on Thanksgiving Day). It all started the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, when I blacked out while grocery shopping. I knew something was horribly wrong, so I checked into the hospital, where they discovered I had late-onset, severe preeclampsia. I was cath'ed, put on magnesium, and given Pitocin to try to have a natural birth. I was unable to have an epidural due to a previous back surgery, so I felt everything. I labored for 2 days straight with no pain medication, while also being on 26 drops of Pitocin an hour (the highest dose they're legally allowed to give). It was horrific, and I stalled at 6cm for the last 12 hours of labor. I wasn't allowed to walk or move around due to being on magnesium. However, I was determined to keep trying, until my midwife (who I love dearly) had a heart-to-heart with me and told me my BP was out of control (220/110), and I was putting myself in extreme danger by continuing to labor. The magnesium was becoming ineffective, and I started having some crazy hallucinations. On top of that, my daughter's stats were declining, and I was exhausted. I finally gave in to a semi-emergency c-section, was able to have a spinal, and I was conscious during the operation. It was wonderful, and as soon as she was born, my BP regulated, and all was right in the world....or so I thought.

Fast forward 6 hours later, and I had a massive hemorrhage (lost 40% of my blood). The on-call OB had to manually go in and remove all the clots, all while pushing down on my new incision. All I remember was bloody murder screaming, and I blacked out again...this time from the pain. I was white as a ghost, and I slept for almost 12 hours straight afterwards. Since I delivered at a baby-friendly hospital, the nurses did everything they could to help me with breastfeeding, but it was to no avail. Due to all the interventions (mag, Pitocin, c-section, plus the hemorrhage), my milk never came in. Overall, it was an awful experience. The only positive things were that I recovered very quickly, and I was able to save my placenta to have it encapsulated.

Fast forward to today -- DH and I are beginning the process of TTC our next child. I plan to have my IUD removed in the next month or so. I know a lot of mamas are pro-VBAC, but I really think I want a scheduled, repeat c-section. Due to all the complications from my last delivery, I don't want to go through a similar experience (induction, no pain meds, etc) only to have to have another emergency c-section. I'd rather schedule the surgery and have a shot at breastfeeding. Being unable to breastfeed the first time was very hard for me. Am I horrible for wanting this? Looking back on my first birth, I almost wish I'd elected to have a c-section as soon as I got to the hospital and avoided all of the trauma I went through. I just feel like I deserve an easier experience after last time. Thoughts?

Thanks for reading :thumbsup:

canadianbakers 10-15-2012 07:49 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
In a nutshell, no, you're not.
If you are making an informed choice, if you know both the potential risks and benefits of what you are choosing, and if you are making the decision that is best for you, your baby, and your family - then that's the right choice for you. And that's what it's all about!

One thing I would say is that you can't really plan these things. You can schedule a c-sec, but things can still happen, kwim? And you don't know what a different labor attempt may be like or bring.
But I do understand where you're coming from here. You had a horrible experience, and I can totally understand not wanting to go through that again.

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox 10-15-2012 08:01 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
Not horrible at all:hugs: How a child comes into the word isn't important, a birth is a birth and the end is a healthy mama and baby is all that matters. It is a personal choice and nobody's business so don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I had one vag delivery and three c/s, my deliveries were mine alone and anyone not approving my family decisions really don't matter to me in the least.:hugs:

aries416 10-15-2012 08:29 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
Not at all. I essentially chose a scheduled repeat C for my 2nd baby and it went really well.

RachelFlores 10-16-2012 09:18 AM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
You are not horrible for wanting a better birth experience. Anyone in your shoes would want a better birth experience and no one should judge you for what type of birth you choose. IF you want to try for a vaginal birth (and no judgements here if you don't), you are VERY unlikely to have a similar experience. The combination of all the things that happened, made for a perfect storm and a very scary experience. You really don't have to decide one way or another right now. If you want to, you can go into it saying you will try for a VBAC unless XY or Z happens and then you would want a c-section. It doesn't have to be all or nothing unless you feel more comfortable that way.

Van1300 10-16-2012 04:09 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
I am having one in 3-4 weeks. (It was originally scheduled for after Thanksgiving, but I'm not gonna make it that long).

I didn't have nearly as many complications as you, but I did have issues with both my DD's pregnancy and now this one. For my first one, I got an inguinal hernia at week 12, I had GD and hypertension. I was induced 2 days early because baby was measuring 3 weeks ahead. I ended up getting stuck at 3 cm after 16 hours and agreed to a c-section at midnight.

Fast forward to this pregnancy and I still have the hernia (it is below my scar line, on the right side). I also have GD again and I've been on bed rest for the last month due to hypertension. I also have high amounts of amniotic fluid and was referred to the high risk OB. The baby (this one is a boy) is measuring 4 weeks ahead. I just don't feel right even attempting a VBAC.

Does it really matter in the end? No. Plus I have heard the time in the hospital and your milk coming in is a lot easier with a scheduled c-section. I was so tired after laboring 24 hours total and then having mine at midnight that my DH had to physically hold my daughter on me in order to nurse. This time we are going to have one at 8am and I plan to be alert and ready to nurse/care for my baby as soon as they let me.

Good luck on your journey TTC!!!

BeccaSueCongdon 10-16-2012 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet_Fantasy_Fox
Not horrible at all:hugs: How a child comes into the word isn't important, a birth is a birth and the end is a healthy mama and baby is all that matters. It is a personal choice and nobody's business so don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I had one vag delivery and three c/s, my deliveries were mine alone and anyone not approving my family decisions really don't matter to me in the least.:hugs:

Exactly this. I had one cs for a huge baby (10lbs, 12oz) and an hbac. And even I say - it's none of anyone's business! Both vbac and elective carry their own set of risks. An unplanned cesarean after a TOL is riskier than either a vbac or a planned cs. If you feel most comfortable planning a cesarean, your planned cs will likely be much different than your induction and unplanned cs. :-) you can even plan on having a doula or lactation consultant with you in hospital to help as you work to establish breastfeeding! :-)

qsefthuko 10-16-2012 04:59 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
I am all for vbacs. But when you are already scared, had a lot of problems with the first I can totally understand the desire for a repeat section.

I cried when I was told I couldn't have a vbac but also felt a bit of relief at the same time. I had troubles with our first and almost lost her. That is scary. In the a vbac wasn't even a possibility. My youngest came by emergency c-section. He was having heart decells at 37 weeks. I do not deliver early naturally so it is doubtful he would have made it long enough for me to go into labor. He wouldn't have tolerated labor either as he had 4 tight cord wraps that weren't letting him move let alone deliver vaginally.

Do what is best for both you and baby not what others may think is best for you.

becky1231 10-16-2012 05:41 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
there are pro's and con's to all both ways of giving birth. I had a vaginal birth with my oldest an emergency c section with my middle and I didn't even bat an eye when my OB asked me how I wanted to deliver my 3rd. I had a traumatic for me birth with my daughter ( middle) not nearly as horrific as yours OP but it was enough for me and I knew from the minute I got a positive pregnancy test that I would have a repeat c section. All we can do is make a decision that is best for us and not worry what other might think or say. It is more important to have a healthy Mom and a Healthy baby.

hopeangelmomof5 10-18-2012 12:09 PM

Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s?
 
First of all: Oh my goodness!! What a nightmare!!! Now that that's out of the way: No, you're not crazy for not wanting to go through that again. Find a doctor who will let you try for a vbac (in case you decide you want it) and is a surgeon (and can do a c-section.) Then see how it goes. But do NOT feel guilty about having another c-section-especially when you lost so much blood and had so much trauma during childbirth the first time. I would say you gave it 150% trying to birth your first child naturally and your body just wasn't having it. Cut yourself some slack. :)


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