Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community -

Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - (
-   Labor, Delivery & Postpartum (
-   -   Looking for advice/similar stories (

Lostand 11-01-2012 10:11 PM

So, the jist of this story is that on sept 11 I had my baby boy. Because of complications my midwife now strongly suggests I have an elective csection with future children.
Now I will post the whole big story for anyone who wants to help me out with some advice!!

So at 340 am on sept 11 my water broke. It had TONS of meconium in it. Because of the meconium, we had to go to the hospital to check on the baby instead of laboring at home. It is also hospital policy that you cannot give birth in the birthing tubs if there was meconium which I was really upset about. Anyways we get to the hospital around 630 and check on baby and he is doing great. I am having some contractions but not regular or strong. Basically the same contractions I had been having for a week. I was dilated to a 1. I took a nap and then around 8 we started to try to get labor going naturally. I walked, bounced on the birthing ball, and used the breast pump. All of that would help, but as soon as I quit the contractions would slow back down again. They never would get stronger. At 230, so about 11 hrs after my water broke we decided to go ahead and start me on the lowest dose of pitocin. I was still at a 1 and contractions weren't going anywhere. That seemed to be all I needed, so after 4 hrs with the pitocin I went from a 1 to and 8. I was really excited things were progressing. At this point, they let me get into the birthing tub where I was allowed to stay until it was time to push. Well, after only 5 min in the tub I felt the urge to push. We hurried and got me out of the tub and sure enough I was 10cm and ready to go. It took about 2 min and about 10 pushes to get his head out. This is where it all goes down hill and I am extremely grateful I was not in the tub. With the next contraction I pushed fully expecting him to just slide out and for me to be holdin him. So I push and nothing happens. Push again and nothing. I started to freak out because I know he should have come out by now and well it really hurts to still have him in there. If you have had a natural birth I'm sure you know the one thing you don't need is to loose concentration and control but I just couldn't keep it together I was scared and in pain. Next thing I know the nicu team is rushing in and my midwife is telling them she need the OB now. The OB has me get on all fours to try to help him out and that doesn't work. The baby's heart beat had stopped and time was really running out. Finally at the 5 min mark with the OB and midwife both trying to get him out, the OB just reached in and pulled him out from under his arm pits. I cannot even begin to explain how bad that hurt and it caused massive tearing. It took the nicu team a little over a minute to get him breathing. Luckily there were no other complications with him.
However, once he came out, the umbilical cord detached from the placenta. Which meant I was just bleeding out inside my uterus. So, they started giving me shots of pitocin ( they took me off of it when I got in the water) to help hurry and get the placenta out. They could only get it to partially detach, so I was just continuing to loose a lot of blood. They decided to do an emergency d&c. I had to go under general anesthesia to have it done which was scary. Between the d&c and them having to stitch everything back up it was over 2 hrs before I was in the room with my baby. I had to receive two bags of blood and it was 24 hrs before I could even sit up without passing out. I could not even hold my son and feed him on my own. The awesome nurses put him to my breast and fed him for me. I ended up hemorrhaging twice in the next 24 hrs so I lost even more blood.
Baby was 9lb 5oz and 21 3/4 in
The whole birth was just so completely opposite from the peaceful natural child birth I wanted.
So my mw says that after such a severe shoulder dystocia with the first child they strongly recommend a section with subsequent children. She said the chances of it happening again are very high. I went home and did my own research and the stats are that .2% of ftm experience true dystocia. of the ftm Who experienced it, it increases to 12%. that's a huge increase.
So now my question is do I just give in and have a section? I really don't want that at all and I hate that I would never get to experience childbirth again. I deff would have to have an epidural next time incase it did happen again so that the situation could be handled faster. But I couldn't live with myself if it happened again and the next baby is not as lucky and actually gets hurt. If this baby would have been stuck much longer he would have ended up with brain damage from lack of oxygen. I just don't know what to choose. Is it worth the risk to avoid a section? I really want to do what is best for my child, I'm just not sure what that is. I feel like the birthing process is so important to the well being of mother and baby and the hormones released help with bonding and bfing and all. But I spent the first 24 hrs of my child's life doped up. I couldn't hold him. I could barely stay awake I was so weak. I missed his first bath and him being weighed. We have no pictures. It just sucked. I deff dont want that With my second child either. Part of me feels like a section would just be the easier more predictable choice. Emotionally i don't think I can go through a traumatic birth like that again. And my tearing was so bad I still have stitches and have trouble walking and sitting. The heal time is deff faster from a section than from what I am dealing with. Anyways I am going to stop ranting about it now. If you have advice please share!!

dolphingirl 11-02-2012 12:49 AM

Re: Looking for advice/similar stories
Yikes, I'm so sorry to hear that your birth did not go as planned! I can imagine how difficult it must still be both emotionally and physically.

I, too, experienced a severe shoulder dystocia with my 6th baby who was born just a few months ago. After my 5th baby was such an easy, peaceful birth (as were some of my other babies), I know the feeling of expecting the baby to slide out, but instead nothing happens! It was definitely the scariest experience of my life! I had a homebirth, and I am thankful that my midwife knew what to do as far as trying a variety of different positions and manuevers. His head was stuck for 7 minutes before she finally managed to reach one of his little hands, pull it up over his head, rotate him 180 degrees, and get him out. I had completely lost the urge to push and had to rely on her to get him out. I feel blessed that he was resuscitated quite quickly and had no ill effects, as you did with the excessive bleeding, d and c, etc. Oh my, my heart goes out to you, and with this being your first baby, I can understand that you would feel torn about what to do next. Of course, our number one priority is always having a healthy baby, but I can imagine that your heart must ache to experience childbirth, but without all the fear and complications.

We most likely are done having children, but in the rare event, I did have this conversation with my midwife and she assured me that I could have another vaginal delivery and a homebirth like I usually plan. However, we would carefully watch my diet to try to "grow" a smaller baby. My baby was 10 lbs. 2 ozs. with broad shoulders, and I know his size contributed to this somewhat. (However, shoulder dystocia can happen with small babies as well, though it is more common with bigger babies. I've had a 9 lb. 15 oz. baby before, though, and he was one of my easiest births!) I eat healthy, but she said that certain foods do pack the weight on babies more than others. So that's one thing we could try. I read many stories online of women having a shoulder dystocia baby and then having completely normal births afterwards. C-sections have plenty of risks involved as far as the health of baby and mother goes, so you would need to weigh the risks of each.

I think that avoiding a shoulder dystocia would actually be a reason to try NOT to have an epidural if you did choose another vaginal delivery. The most helpful thing to both avoid and to treat a shoulder dystocia based on what I've read and what my midwives told me is to change positions, which requires the mom to have complete mobility. I've talked to friends who work in labor and delivery, and they were amazed that my midwife managed to get him out without breaking his collarbone because that's what they see done by the OBs frequently to get shoulder dystocia babies out. My midwife explained that because many of the women in hospitals have epidurals, they can't be flipping to hands and knees positions, etc. which is a great way to dislodge baby, and so they have much fewer "tricks" they can use. (One of the positions she had me try was hands and knees and then put one put forward almost like in a runner's stance. Other positions as well before finally she had to do the trick with getting the arm out and rotation. We did call 911 because he was stuck so long, but thankfully by the time they came, baby was born and midwives had resuscitated him. I would be afraid that the epidural would reduce your mobility during labor thus increasing the risk that the baby would get stuck, and then if baby did get stuck, you'd be stuck on your back so that they couldn't use different positioning tricks that could help release the baby.

When the time comes, I would recommend getting opinions from several midwives. I agree that it would be a tough decision to make after such a traumatic birth. I pray that you heal completely from the birth and that any future births go much smoother!

AniMommy 11-02-2012 01:51 AM

Sorry you had such a hard time. I think it's too early for you to be trying to make any decisions. Let yourself heal emotionally from your birth. If you choose to have a planned c/s in the future so be it.

I hope you find healing and peace soon.

raisingcropsandbabies 11-02-2012 06:16 AM

Re: Looking for advice/similar stories
((big hugs)). There are a few of us, mamas, on here that have had a true shoulder dystocia. I am so, so, so sorry for what happened to you and your baby.

My son was permanently injured due to his severe shoulder dystocia. I had a midwife/homebirth/was fully mobile/changed positions quickly as possible/etc. Tore from end to end and broke my tailbone from how much the midwife had to pull to get him out; my son needed recusitated and then has a brachial plexus injury along with sensory issues from lack of oxygen. It was traumatic to say the least.

With the chances of it happening again being 7x more likely, the trend of subsequent babies being larger, and the nature of your tearing (you don't want that kind of tearing again as it can affect your bladder, nerves, etc): I suggest pondering a c-section.

I've had 3 c-sections since the birth of my s/d son (who is now 5 and still in therapies, etc). They have been more peaceful and resulted in healthy babies. It changes your perspective on them (trust me, I went from two extremes... homebirth to c-sections!). I am thankful for them because I would rather have surgery than anymore of my babies deal with surgeries,therapies, and a lifetime of a different world. My boys went from: 9.8, 10.3, to 12.2 (baby girl was smaller at 8.8) and I ate healthier, worked out, and gained less with the last 3! It made me even more thankful for choosing c-sections.

You are going through a grieving process right now. It's an emotional rollercoaster of being thankful you and your son are alive, sad about what happened, hurt that this happened to you,etc. Sometimes you might feel a little crazy, but know you are normal and that you should be letting yourself feel what you feel and talk about it. I buried it down after the birth of my first son (I received a lot of blame about my son's injury from some family members and never felt like I could talk about stuff to anyone)... it caused a lot of anxiety when I got surprise pregnant with #2. So don't push it down and go through this time.

To Dolphingirl: Shoulder dystocias can cause death... I can not believe your midwife would still consider you low risk enough to give birth at home again. My midwife and other midwife's I consulted afterward said anymore babies should be in a hospital and other's said with the severity, c-sections would be best. S/d's also increase your risk of uterine rupture and hemmorrhaging... something midwives are not as equipped to deal with (I did get a shot for bleeding too much, but nothing like the OP). I'm just in shock your midwife was okay with another homebirth. Okay, off to take #1 to his 3 hour therapy appt.

((big hugs)), Mama. Take it easy on yourself. The stitches will take time to heal, your heart will go in waves of healing... the sharpness of pain will start to fade with some time, but the sting might always be there. My heart is with you on this journey.

Lostand 11-02-2012 08:20 AM

Thank you for your responses!
@raisingcrops I'm glad to hear you have had good experiences after your birth. I am so sorry that happened to your son and that is exactly what I am afraid of happening with another.

Part of the lure of a section is that I know I will be scared the entire time I am giving birth with my second that it is going to happen again. But my husband and I want to have a lot of kids and your body can only handle so many sections. Idk I just keep making pro con lists in my head tryin to figure it all out and come to terms with what happened.

raisingcropsandbabies 11-02-2012 08:59 AM

Re: Looking for advice/similar stories

Originally Posted by Lostand (Post 15886751)
Thank you for your responses!
@raisingcrops I'm glad to hear you have had good experiences after your birth. I am so sorry that happened to your son and that is exactly what I am afraid of happening with another.

Part of the lure of a section is that I know I will be scared the entire time I am giving birth with my second that it is going to happen again. But my husband and I want to have a lot of kids and your body can only handle so many sections. Idk I just keep making pro con lists in my head tryin to figure it all out and come to terms with what happened.

Oh my goodness, are we the same person? :) I also wanted a large family (dh and I had settled on 7 kiddos before #1 was born). Honestly, c-sections have played a factor in our family size. The most I'll have is 5 kids because 4 c-sections is my limit tops (scar tissue has been an issue). I have 4 kids and am debating the 5th now because DH doesn't want to see me recover again and I'm just unsure, seeking God's will right now.

Anyway, I understand the anxiety. If you are a believer, seek God's peace. I remember when I got pregnant with #2, I asked that what I do be the healthiest for the next baby and that He shut doors and open windows according to His plan for a healthy baby. I sought His peace whole-heartedly. And you know, that pregnancy was very growing, spiritually and emotionally. Situations came up and I had to change providers a few times and ended up with the most amazing natural-minded doctor. When we realized a c-section was necessary (those other doors shut and the c-section became the open window), God gave me the most amazing peace even through my sadness and worry. It really did pass all understanding. I will remember that sense of peace during that c-section forever. I will pray God gives you the same during this time of grieving, processing, and the unknowns of what to do next time.

You are doing great by voicing what happened. It will help you process it all.

songbird516 11-04-2012 09:37 PM

Re: Looking for advice/similar stories
For some good comments and studies on shoulder dystocia, read midwife thinking's blog post about about them. Very evidence based and helps to explain why hemorrhage is associated with them and things you can do to reduce your risk.

lovebabies 11-11-2012 01:23 AM

Hugs, mama! I'm so glad you and your baby boy are ok! My second baby had severe shoulder dystocia. It happened just as you described; I pushed his head out, and then pushed and pushed with no change. I was in the tub on my hands and knees at the time, and my midwife started to get a little concerned and told me if he wasn't out in two more pushes I had to get out and onto the birth stool (I was determined to have a waterbirth!). I finally told her, "I can't do anything." She had me lay back on my husband who was behind me in the tub, and she stuck her hand up inside to try to dislodge his shoulder. It wasn't working right away, so her assistant put her fist against the outside and pushed hard on my pubic bone, and finally his shoulder popped free and he slid out! Thankfully, everything was normal from that point on, and he's almost 2 years old now, but that was really scary (although it scared me more after the fact because I didn't fully grasp what was going on at the time, and I was praying out loud for there to be no complications). I've had another home waterbirth since with no complications at all, and a lb smaller baby (I was more conscientious about doing my best to grow a smaller baby, as a pp mentioned). Personally, if I were you, and you want to have another natural birth, I would seek another opinion from other midwives until you are confident in making a decision. And honestly, I'd give it time before you decide. :) You don't have to make any decisions right now. Just gather information as you feel like it and love on your little sweetie. :hugs:

BeccaSueCongdon 11-11-2012 02:40 AM

Haven't read all the comments yet but wanted to respond to your concern about bonding after a CS. In a planned CS you would obviously have different anesthesia (local vs general) and you can talk to your provider about your desire to be as lucid and coherent as possible. They will then just do the local anesthesia and not dope you up on top of that with IV narcotics, which they sometimes do to get ahead of the after pains and to keep mom calm.
You can plan aspects into the CS to help encourage bonding, and getting baby skin to skin ASAP (sometimes even in the OR) and on the breast ASAP.

I can definitely understand your concerns both about the increased risk and about the fear of experiencing another traumatic birth. :-). There are many elective CS moms who have happy birth stories to report, and hopefully some of them will chime in as well. :-)

crunch!910 11-11-2012 06:18 PM

Re: Looking for advice/similar stories
Jsut wanted to say I tried twice to birth large babies. First was 9lb 13oz, second was 10lb 11oz. I never got to pushing stage with either. Although I have quite a bit of hatred toward my csections, I'm also very grateful that both my boys were born safe and healthy. There came a time in my second labor that after 3 days of laboring at home, antoher 12 hours in hospital, I could have chosen to continue laboring or csection. I already knew the baby was measuring big. I already knew I never made it past 7cm with my first. I gave it my all havin already labored for as long as I did, and I took it as a sign that my body just couldn't do it. I honestly feel that IF I could have, then the labor would have gone faster without stalling out so much. Although I did NOT at all want another csection, and I did have a good cry before I went in for surgery, I put on my strong face. I just wanted my baby. I was more coherent during my second csection than with my first. With my first I felt very loopy. I got wheeled back to my room and as soon as they washed the meconium off my baby, I was able to nurse him. With my first, I wasn't able to hold him for like 1-2 hours. It all depends on your care providers. I made sure that the second time around I had much better care providers that understood my wishes. I don't feel a csection impaired bonding.

I won't be having any more babies, because I don't want any more csections. DH is getting snipped. However, we've already decided if there is somehow a surprise baby before or even after that, that I'd ONLY attempt VBA2C IF baby was not measuring large, and if I went into labor before 40 weeks, and I likely wouldn't labor as long as I did with my second. If the labor didn't go quickly enough (say within 24-48 hours), then I'd opt for csection. Yes, csections suck. Yes, I mourn the fact that I will never, ever experience vaginal childbirth. But... my babies are healthy. It's okay for me to be sad, but I choose to not dwell on it when possible and focus on what I have to be grateful for.

I'm so sorry you had a traumatic experience. I hope yo ucan be at peace with whatever decision you make for future babies.

**wanted to add that just because I choose not to have any more biological children.. we still are not sure if we are done or not. If we feel we want another, I've always felt called to foster/adopt. :)

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:31 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.