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-   -   When did older children visit after c-section? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1461151)

Van1300 11-06-2012 10:57 AM

When did older children visit after c-section?
 
I'm scheduled for my repeat c-section at 6:45am this Friday and I have an almost 3 year old daughter. I have to be at the hospital at 4:45am and have asked my mother to take my daughter to school and then come straight to the hospital. Her school starts at 7am and is 10 minutes from the hospital. My mom would likely be back at the hospital before I even make it into recovery.

My mom is throwing a fit because she won't actually get to be there during the surgery (she's not even going to be in the room, hubby will). She wants to bring my DD to the hospital and then take her to school afterwards so that everyone can meet the baby right away.

I feel like I do not want my daughter to see me in recovery, I will be groggy and out of it. The baby may have some complications as I am delivering at 37 weeks due to being on bed rest the last 2 months and I'm not sure yet what might happen. It may be a hectic morning. I would much rather my daughter come to the hospital later that afternoon when we are all settled in to post-partum and can spend some quality time. I also want my daughter to have a normal routine and a good day as it will be the start of a lot of big changes for our family.

When did your older children come see you in the hospital? Did they spend a 'normal' day as to not disrupt their schedule?

kissum 11-06-2012 11:00 AM

Re: When did older children visit after c-section?
 
I've only had one c-section, but I honestly wasn't really comfortable with my then 5 yo seeing me 12 hours post c because I was still so rough and I think it scared her. I would for sure not be ready in recovery. I've also had 2 NICU babies and I can tell you it can be really scary those first few hours so I'd wait until after school when you have a better idea what's going on.

happymama1 11-06-2012 11:23 AM

Re: When did older children visit after c-section?
 
I am sorry about your mom--it seems like she's being pushy. she should do whatever you need her to do and not push her ideas on you. :hugs: My mom was awesome when I had my first c-section. I had a complicaed pregnancy and we weren't 100% sure how the baby would be, and when went into labor on my own at 37 weeks and they were rushing me off for a c-section, I specifically asked my mom to take my daugher home and get her dinner and follow her normal bedtime routine. It gave me great comfort in the midst of the stressful circumstances to know that my little girl was going to have as normal of a night as possible. I felt like it was one thing I ha control over in a frightening situation for me. My mom was awesome! She did exactly what I asked and was so wonderful about it. I know she was dying to be able to be there to support me at the hospital...especially because we didn't know what my son's outcome would be...she was dying to meet the baby too...but she knew that doing what I needed was the MOST helpful thing she could possibly do to support me in that moment. Plus, I had my husband with me for the birth....so it's not like she was leaving me alone ;)

Anyway....I'm sure that as a mother....you probably need to know that your daughter is going to be in a predictable routine. It is SO understandable that you do not want her around what may be a scary time for you (and for her!!).

I would not let your mother push her ideas on you if I were you!

happymama1 11-06-2012 11:26 AM

Re: When did older children visit after c-section?
 
oh, and to answer the original questions :blush:

with my first c-section...my daughter came to see us the next day. Baby was in the NICU for 1 week so I was dying to see her :)

With my second c-section, the kids didn't come until the day before I came home (day 2)...I didn't think my 2 year old would do well with saying goodbye to me at the hospital...so I decided to wait until I could tell him that I'd be coming home the next day. It worked well.

Ainmemphis 11-06-2012 11:41 AM

I don't know what to suggest as far as when she should see you but even though your c/s is scheduled for 6:45 it may be delayed if your Dr is doing another delivery or if there are emergencies. I would just bring that up to your mom saying that you dont want her missing too much school if the baby doesn't get delivered as early as expected. Just a suggestion.

dncegrl 11-06-2012 11:49 AM

I didn't want my son to see me in recovery either. As soon as I was in the hospital room (like as I was being wheeled in the room) I called my mil to bring my son. It was way less hectic, and we were all able to enjoy our time together then.

qsefthuko 11-06-2012 12:06 PM

Re: When did older children visit after c-section?
 
With my last section my kids saw me right away but our circumstances were different. I went from the Dr.s office to the women's ER to emergency surgery because baby was nonreactive on the non stress test plus his heart rate kept dropping. The kids were actually supposed to go to my sister's during the scheduled section the following week. Since no one was prepared and our doctor was an hour and a half away froheaters we lived the kids spent the entire surgery waiting in the waiting room with my husband. I wound up in surgery alone. My husband and the kids spent the night with me in my post partum room. The next day my sister came for the kids.

In your situation I would be very blunt. My birth, my wishes. I would plainly state I don't want the added stress of arguing do as I wish. If you don't like it keep it to yourself. Now my mother might get mad at me if I said that but she would get over it. With my second child I had a family member who wanted to come wait on the waiting room while I delivered. I flat out said no way you cause me more stress than I need while delivering. If you show up I will have the hospital staff personally escort you off property. This person did not show up for my delivery. They were able to see my son when he was about 3 weeks old when I was ready to see them.

PerfectFifth 11-06-2012 12:44 PM

Re: When did older children visit after c-section?
 
DS1 came to visit the day after my c-section. If I were your shoes, I probably wouldn't see my mom until the next day, either. I think it's important to let mom-dad-baby have some space to get acquainted-- and recover from major surgery, for goodness' sakes!!! Your family has many happy years ahead of them with your new baby, so waiting a day before they meet him won't hurt anybody. :)

Van1300 11-06-2012 12:50 PM

Re: When did older children visit after c-section?
 
Thanks all!

My first pregnancy was an all day thing, I went into labor on my own and I was an employee at the hospital at the time so lots of people were in and out of my room, coming to visit, cheer me on etc. I ended up with a c-section at 12:30 am after stalling out and my immediate family (mom, dad, sister) were there to greet my husband/baby while I was in recovery. I was fine with it then because of the circumstances, and then they left us alone until lunch time the next day.

This time with it being scheduled, I want to keep things as simple as possible. Mom, Dad, and sister are all welcome to come to the hospital and see me after I get out of recovery.We're all really close, so I don't want to banish anyone. I don't want my daughter there until later in the afternoon, when I am alert and with it enough to interact with her!

Ashsmama 11-06-2012 01:43 PM

My 1 and a half yo dd, and inlaws, came to see me and baby once I was awake and in my room.
I had two csections and I felt like the second one went better than the first.
I wasn't as groggy and just handled it much better.
I was more than ready to see my daughter and for her to meet her brother. I went to the hospital at around 7am then I had emergency surgery and had him at 1:15pm.


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