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mrspopo 11-10-2012 06:13 PM

Do your pregnancy symptoms decide how many kids you have?
We've got baby #2 on the way and we're thrilled. I always knew in my heart we would have at least 2 kids. We go back and forth on whether or not to have more. And it's a little strange not knowing if we'll have more. Both pregnancies have been very planned, but after this one there is a real unknown of whether to keep baby stuff etc. I will be holding the little squishy and not knowing if there will be any more.

The open-endedness is kind of nice so we can go with how we feel I guess. But unfortunately both pregnancies have resulted in really icky symptoms. And it occurred to me that that might be the deciding factor. It doesn't seem like that should really determine how many kids we have, but man this pregnancy thing doesn't agree with my body!

Less than a week in I started having really bad nausea. By 2 weeks I was basically bedridden agonizing with all-day nausea (sometimes vomiting too). Even with medication and trying all the little "tricks" I was miserable. 8 weeks of being unable to sit upright, let alone stand, for more than 10 minutes. Too miserable to even watch TV. Lots of weight-loss and 2 trips to the ER for severe dehydration. It was in these throws of agony that DH had the nerve to ask "no more kids?" Parking it on the couch all day while the 1 year old runs around all day and cries is not fun, probably even not-funner with 2 running around.

The last few weeks haven't been nearly as bad and I've even been able to leave the house and cook a few meals. And I'm only throwing up 5 or 6 times a week - woo hoo! So much better! But now come all the other symptoms. I'm already getting up at least twice at night to pee. A couple of times I've had REALLY bad constipation. There's dozens of other annoying symptoms I'm sure you're all aware of. And now my dreaded pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome. My left wrist is really staring to hurt with very minimal movements. I'd forgotten how much it hurts, it's hard to do things when your hands hurt so bad. Last time it went away instantly after giving birth. If someone tries to tell me I'm glowing I might try to punch them in the nose.

I guess I'm just wondering if I should let these pregnancy symptoms be the deciding factor on whether to have more kids or not. I feel so blessed and fortunate to have my health and the opportunity to have healthy children. It feels unfair that I could let those symptoms get in the way when others would change places with me in a heartbeat to get to "choose" whether to conceive a baby or not. Ya know?

KaleidoscopeEyes 11-10-2012 06:35 PM

Re: Do your pregnancy symptoms decide how many kids you have?
maybe. the first 3 were a breeze, i never experienced a lot of the symptoms other women do (no morning sickness, braxton hicks, round ligament pain etc) but this last one was pretty awful. i was having excruciating RL pain toward the end and i got carpel tunnel and a fair amount of swelling. i def wouldnt want that to happen again. that being said every PG is different so just because this last pg was hard doesnt mean the next one would be.

momofdestructobaby 11-10-2012 06:43 PM

Re: Do your pregnancy symptoms decide how many kids you have?
Not for me....but I didn't have really bad pregnancy symptoms.

For me, the temperament of my 2nd child determined how many kids we'd have. I had planned on 3 (or 4). After number 2 we were done. There is no way our marriage (or sanity) could survive a 3rd. ;)

RunawayBunny 11-10-2012 06:56 PM

Not so much symptoms, but getting pregnant (and the first tri) was stressful so we wont be having any more biological children. We are considering adoption, though.

I agree with a pp, all pregnancies are different and I think your open-minded attitude is great!

BeccaSueCongdon 11-10-2012 06:56 PM

When I was pregnant with both kids I had horrible nausea AND vomiting several times a day for the first three months. With first pg things never really felt better, though the puking stopped, and with my last pg I felt ok after the first three months. I was in better shape for that pg (had been running and finished a half marathon, was training for a full when we conceived).

My husband reminds me monthly about the day I was wretching over the toilet, looked up and him with a grim face and said "no matter what I say from now on, NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN." I would start puking and not be able to stop for 5-10 minutes straight and really messed up my throat. :-p

But of course I have total amnesia and am dying for a third squish. :-)

He thinks I'm insane . Lol.

canadianbakers 11-10-2012 08:47 PM

Re: Do your pregnancy symptoms decide how many kids you have?
No, not the pregnancy symptoms. The stress and anxiety and fear that has come with being pregnant after our losses - that is what's deciding how many pregnancies we will have.

Arabesque 11-10-2012 09:06 PM

I had relatively easy pregnancies, but started having panic attacks a few months after DD was born. She's 13 months now, and I still have bad days. The fear of going through all that again is preventing me (and DH) from wanting another.

evasimone 11-10-2012 09:47 PM

Re: Do your pregnancy symptoms decide how many kids you have?
I think it might. I've had a really easy pregnancy so I don't think getting pregnant again would be an issue or something I'd worry about. But I know a good number of people that had a miserable 9 months and I think if I went through what they did getting pregnant would be something I'd think long and hard about.

EmilytheStrange 11-10-2012 10:47 PM

I say no.

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I told DH that we were done at 2. I was miserable with pregnancy symptoms - of course.

Now I am feeling fine and normal again and I'm feeling like I could go for 3.

So, I know I don't know yet. I can't make that decision in the midst of pregnancy woes.

weesej 11-11-2012 07:10 AM

Re: Do your pregnancy symptoms decide how many kids you have?
I had hyperemesis for my first 3 pregnancies and then it turned into normal morning sickness. Still not fun, but doable. The very 1 st pregnancy was a 13 week miscarriage...likely because of the weight loss. The next one I could camp in bed....but then I got pregnant with a mobile 5 month old. I penned him in the living room for a few months and tried to make it to the pot in time.

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