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-   -   minimalist family and out of control grandma buying? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1463853)

cassie.sattler 11-15-2012 08:55 AM

minimalist family and out of control grandma buying?
 
first off we live with my inlaws. second of all my mom has gone mad buying unwanted baby items off discount websites. at first it was something here and there and we could actually use which was nice. however now it has turned into a shopping addiction where she buys alot of cloths, toys, and weird baby gadgets that my family just doesnt need. my old room at her house has turned into a storage space for all the boxes of things she has bought for us.

i have told her to spend the money on things she wants. i have refused items all together. i even told her to put the money in a bank account for lo when he gets older so he can go to college. NOTHING IS WORKING.

i feel bad because if i dont take it the stuff just sits there and more comes. if i take it i dont use it and it clutters my house. this has caused quite alot of stress within the family because now she is in money troubles, my dad is barely staying afloat (shes a SAHM due to disability and uses the money from disability to buy the stuff).

i asked her why she kept buying stuff and she said because she wants to help support us. i told her that loving her grandson was the most i could ever want and need.

on top of the buying i dont like alot of crap in my house and i like to keep it simple. i also dont want lo to grow up so materialistic or demanding items that dh and i cant afford. what do i do?

tallanvor 11-15-2012 09:04 AM

Re: minimalist family and out of control grandma buying?
 
Sell it and give the money to your dad. You probably can't get her to stop. She's going to have to do that on her own, either completely on her own or with counseling.

RainandRedemption 11-15-2012 09:05 AM

Re: minimalist family and out of control grandma buying?
 
I can really relate, although our situation is a little different. Buying too much unwanted things can be frustrating enough but your moms sounds like she has a problem beyond that. If they really can't afford to be spending all that money I would probably talk to your dad about limiting her spending $$. He doesn't need to be struggling to make ends meet when she's filling up rooms with all this stuff.

If that didn't work I might try reselling the items and giving your dad the cash. But personally I really think he needs to cut off her access to their main bank account.

danielle 11-15-2012 01:01 PM

Re: minimalist family and out of control grandma buying?
 
When your mother gives you something, smile and say thank you. It's a gift and you will drive yourself crazy trying to find a way to make her stop. After you've said thank you, set it aside and take the bin to a consignment shop for them to sell for you.

You cannot change other people, and you shouldn't try. You've said your piece, and that's all you can do.

monkeymama07 11-15-2012 02:05 PM

We have the same mom in this way.

I Give her specific things we need without giving brand or Type and let her shop for them.

In September I told her liam needed a coat. We got coat, hat,snowpants. But atleast Shes happy and spending less and not buying crap we cant use usually......

I also do the awesome mok can you include the receipt incase its the wrong size,Type,whatever....

Dad and mom also have discussed how much free money eachbl has a month and I back dad on it.

If I know Shes done i promptly send whatever back.


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