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-   -   It would be interesting... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464789)

galesville1980 11-18-2012 04:02 PM

To know what percent of BM/BD are truly happy with choosing adoption. Our BM said she has no regrets what so ever and actually has a hard time relating to other BM's because of that.

What percent who have a closed adoption now wish they had a semi/very open adoption.

(This is my random thought of the day ;) )

newmommy13 11-18-2012 04:11 PM

Hm something tells me its not really that random.

If I had to guess I would assume that the majority of bp would have hoped the situation turned out differently, however what that might be is different for everyone I'm sure. Very few mothers willingly place their children happily but I hope that for most the relationship with aps and the child(ren) makes the best out of a difficult situation, kwim?

galesville1980 11-18-2012 04:36 PM

Yes im sure what has gone on on this board has prob got me thinking of this.

Thinking more

So ill go with another question..how many are happy with the family they picked..
And that question goes out to AP in open adoption do you feel like BP are a true part of your family.

For me i couldnt ask for better BP..we are also lucky to have a wonderful relationship with their family (mom/dad/siblings and grandparents). We have a lot in common and really enjoy their company.

newmommy13 11-18-2012 05:35 PM

I love hearing those stories! Thats the ideal I think, and it seems like such a blessing in that sense because your family has grown by, more then one. As someone who comes from a small family and would love a large family this is very attractive! I hope it is common but so many factors need to fall into place I'm sure its just not that common.

Theres an awesome mama here who also has a great relationship with her ds bio family but shes not posting anymore. :(

galesville1980 11-18-2012 06:14 PM

Re: It would be interesting...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by newmommy13 (Post 15947508)
I love hearing those stories! Thats the ideal I think, and it seems like such a blessing in that sense because your family has grown by, more then one. As someone who comes from a small family and would love a large family this is very attractive! I hope it is common but so many factors need to fall into place I'm sure its just not that common.

Theres an awesome mama here who also has a great relationship with her ds bio family but shes not posting anymore. :(

Im pretty sure I know who you mean and yes hers does sound a lot like ours...bummer she does not post anymore as she seem very knowledgeable when it came to adoption/foster care.

Fashionably Green Baby 11-18-2012 06:16 PM

Re: It would be interesting...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by galesville1980 (Post 15947626)
Im pretty sure I know who you mean and yes hers does sound a lot like ours...bummer she does not post anymore as she seem very knowledgeable when it came to adoption/foster care.

I was sad to see she hadn't posted in quite a while but I know that she had a pretty sad event take place and pretty soon after is when she last posted. :(

ETA: I am not not an adoption or foster mama but I just am really interested in adoption and foster care so I kinda read stuff in this area a lot.

momofdestructobaby 11-18-2012 06:22 PM

Re: It would be interesting...
 
FWIW, my mom gave up my sisters for adoption (twins). It was a closed adoption. We have talked about it and I know that she does not regret the decision at all. At the time, and given the circumstances it was the best choice for everyone. They were raised in a stable, loving, home and never wanted for anything. My mom was able to finish her education, get a good job (in a quite important position withing the community), enter a stable, loving relationship and have/raise my brother and I after giving up my sisters. With our situation, we were reunited with my sisters when they were in their late 20s. I do know that everyone involved wishes that the reunion could have come about 10 years earlier but that was a result of the way the system worked here at that time. At this point (15 years post reunion) I know that my mom would like to have a closer relationship with my sisters, but that her relationship with them is impacted by their adoptive parents wishes for them to have NO contact with my mom or any of her family. That aspect of it sucks, but I don't think that is part in parcel with a closed adoption for all people.

galesville1980 11-18-2012 06:27 PM

Re: It would be interesting...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fashionably Green Baby (Post 15947634)
I was sad to see she hadn't posted in quite a while but I know that she had a pretty sad event take place and pretty soon after is when she last posted. :(

ETA: I am not not an adoption or foster mama but I just am really interested in adoption and foster care so I kinda read stuff in this area a lot.


Oh no I didnt know something bad had happen :(..is it something you can share with me? I hope her sweet ds is ok..

galesville1980 11-18-2012 06:29 PM

Re: It would be interesting...
 
Momofdestrutobaby: thank u for sharing that story!! bet the reunion was amazing for you all!

luvsviola 11-18-2012 09:27 PM

Re: It would be interesting...
 
We have an open adoption agreement with DS's bio parents. Neither has contacted us since his adoption day. The funny part is that his bio mom was who pushed for the agreement instead of termination (We paid the legal fees for it though), and she hasn't contacted us at all. We would never have openly offered visitation, but wanted her to sign so the 3 year DCS case could be over, and we could all move on, and this was the only way she was willing to sign. Then she never followed through with HER end of the agreement.


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