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Love4leon 11-19-2012 08:02 AM

Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
This thread is for women that have children who are trying to have more and struggling with infertility (IF). You fall into the IF category if you have been trying for more than a year or if you have known fertility issues. Some have secondary IF and some have primary IF. Some of us are TTC naturally and some need treatments of some type. All are welcome!

We also have women who are praying to make it. Due to prior losses or IF they don't feel like they should join a due date board till after the first 12 weeks. We are truly happy to support you as you transition. Please just keep in mind that we are a group of woman struggling with IF and be sensitive to that as you post. If you put a pregnancy ticker or smiley in your signature, please turn off your signature when you post in this thread. Thank you!

Please note: When your information needs to be updated, please highlight the area that needs to be updated. This will make it easier for me to update you. :goodvibes:

If you'd like to be added please post your info using the format below. Please note: I remove names if you are inactive for one month. This really helps keep the list more manageable, if you would like to be added back, just repost your info. :D

Women TTC: :ttc: :noaf:

Screen name: twinmomstl (Real Name): Ashley
Age: 28, DH 31
Children and ages: Identical twins Gavin and Dominick (Aug. 2008)
Losses:
Diagnosis: anovulation (I'm thinking PCOS but I don't have enough cysts for them to call it that)
Treatment: Starting Clomid next cycle
Next Appt: January
Cycles TTC another: Since Dec. 2010

Screen name: MyGlorylife (Real Name): Minda
Age: 33, dh is 36
Children and ages: 10 kids, 7 natural born, 3 step: dd13, dd11 1/2, ds10 1/2, dd 10, ds 9, dd8, ds7, ds5 1/2, ds almost 4, ds 2
Losses: 9/98 5 wks, 10/98 7 weeks, 05/2000 twins 1 at 10 weeks and one at 12, 04/04 twins 1 at 9 weeks, 1 at 11 weeks, 8/2008 DS's twin at 4 months (but scan showed twin had dies around 10 weeks), 7/2012 4weeks
Diagnosis: Currently TTC post V-Reversal that was done in 6/2012, 7 yrs after V was originally done.
Cycles TTC another: 5 months this including the mc in july

Screen name: KotzurK (Real Name): Kelsie
Age: 29, DH 28
Children and ages: Noah (Dec 2007)
Losses: Sept 06 twins 8 weeks, Feb 11 molar twins 8 weeks, Aug 12 triplets 10 weeks (Also lost DS's twin at 16 weeks)
Diagnosis: PCOS, cervical cancer (in remission) and male factor
Treatment: Injections (Bravelle and Menopur) Ovidrel and IUI
Next Appt: Tomorrow. Another baseline ultrasound and labs
Cycles TTC another: Since Sept 2010, including losses

Screen name: ChihuahuaMama13 (Real Name): Samantha
Age: 26, DF 28
Children and ages: Gabe (Jan 2011)
Losses: none
Diagnosis: Possible PCOS, otherwise unexplained
Treatment: On 1000mg/day Metformin, and trying Bona Dea; tried Soy Iso (made cycles about 2 weeks longer) and B6 with no results
Next Appt: First fertility specialist appt is November 12th at 3pm
Cycles TTC another: Since April 2011

Screen Name (Real Name): Carriek38 (Carrie)
Age: 33, soon to be 34
Current Children and age: Elliott, 2.5yrs
Losses: 02/12 CP, 05/12 6wks, 10/12 CP
Diagnosis: no known fertility issues, same-sex couple
Treatment and meds: Gonal F, Lupron, trigger shots, IUIx5
Next Appointment: Unknown...moving on to IVF

Screen Name (Real Name): Hope4More (Mel)
Age: 32
Current Children and age: Jake, 2 years old
Losses: 10/19/12 8w0d
Diagnosis: PCOS, was told at 14 years old I would never have children, I do not ovualte EVER without intervention
Treatment and meds: DCI, Vitex, inositol, progesterone
Next Appointment: November 5 or 6, follow up for D&C.

Screen name (Real Name): SlyFoxy (Robin)
Age: me- 40 soon be 41 ,hubby-47 Happily married 20 years
Children and ages: 2 girls 14 years old & other 20 months took 12 years to get our 2nd
Losses: None
Diagnosis: DH did have LSC but after 25mg Clomid they are prefect now. Me- Endometriosis, surgery remove mild endometriosis in 6/2010. Got pregnant after had endometriosis removed in 2010
Treatment 3 cycles of 2.5mg 3-7 Femara,opk testing, BD'ng with IUI, Endometriosis, surgery to remove mild endometriosis again 10/2012. Starting 2.5mg Femara 4-8 opk testing day, BD'ng then IUI when get peak on CBFM. Plus RE started me on a new prenatal vitamin with xtra iron
Cycles TTC another: 1 1/2 yr TTC#3

Screen name (Real Name): Itsajoi (Jena)
Age: me - 25, hubby - 25
Children and ages: boy, 27 months
Losses: may 2012
Diagnosis: none yet...
Treatment: nada
Next Appt: the 24th of this month
Cycles TTC another: since summer 2011...about 14 or 15 cycles

Screen name (Real Name): Melmonkey (Mel)
Age: me - 34, hubby - 35
Children and ages: girl almost 18 months
Losses: Sept 5 2012
Diagnosis: unexplained
Treatment: Clomid 50mg cd 3-7
Next Appt: don't have one, hopefully in the next few months we'll be doing OB/Gyn appts again!
Cycles TTC another: AF showed Dec 2010....we have not prevented since then....

Screen Name (Real Name):lalakiwi7 (Liesl - pronounced leesal)
Age (SO): 27 and hubby is 27, Happily married for 7 yrs. Together for 12.
Current Children and age: Noah is our oldest miracle man, adopted- 6yrs old. Frances is our first born who is 3.
Lost child: early losses 7/2011 & 11/2007 and DS-Haven (12 weeks) 7/2012
Diagnosis: Stage four endometriosis. Re-occuring losses. 2ndary infertility
Treatment and meds: ASA, MV, Decadron, Femera, HCG trigger, Progesterone post O and Lovenox with BFP
Next Appointment: Will be a follie scan CD 12 once I start AF again.
TTC: Since Francy was a baby... almost three years.

Screen name: kricket24 (Real Name): Kristen
Age: 30
Children and ages: (DS#1) Dakota 04/04/2003 and (DS#2) Colton 06/04/2009
Losses: Identical Twins, May 1, 2008. I was 9 weeks along, DH and I believe they would have been baby girls.
Diagnosis: Unexplained Secondary Infertility (I believe it's a progesterone/ovulation issue)
Treatment: Hoping to do IVF in Oct/Nov! For now I'm taking prenatals, B-Complex & Omega 3's.
Next Appt: Seeing an RE for our first IVF appt tomorrow night! 9/27 @ 6pm
Cycles TTC another: No birth control since DS #2 was born, started TTC a little over a year ago.

Screen name (Real Name): QuicksilverNHS (Marie)
Age: me - 28, DH - 29
Children and ages: 1DS-3y
Losses: Chemical in 2007. 12 week loss in 2008. Chemical in 2010. 15w loss in 2011. 23 week micropreemie live-birth/loss in Oct 2011. 9 week loss in 2012.
Diagnosis: unexplained---tests all "normal"
Treatment: 200mg Endometrin suppository (100mg 2x/day), baby aspirin, extra folic acid and B6.
Next Appt: Pending approval with MFM. Hopefully by Oct 1.
Cycles TTC another: 1. DH came home from deployment and 3.5 weeks later, I got my BFP. We have ZERO problems getting pregnant...its staying that way that doesn't work well at all.

Screen Name (Real Name): 3 Ladybugs (Jennifer)
Age: 35
Current Children and age: 3 lost children (July, August 2006, January 2007),M/C 9/2007, 1 living son 9/2008, M/C and lost frostie 7/2012
Diagnosis: Unexplained infertility to start with, now in menopause due to chemo, also had pelvic radiation that complicates things a bit.
Treatment and meds: Have 3 frozen embryos (my last 5 bits of hope), low dose aspirin, prenatal vitamin with low Vit. E, Estrace (orally and vaginally), progesterone in oil, and Prometrium. Have port cath flushes every 6-8 weeks.
Next Appointment: 9/5 Ultrasound and bloodwork, 9/10 FET, Beta 9/15, Oncologist on 10/17
Cycles TTC another: Got cleared to do my FET back in 11/10 pending oncologist telling my RE I didn't have cancer... turns out I did. So have been waiting since then to get to this point. It took 2 years 7 months for first cycle after cancer, now working on second cycle.

Name: flynnsmom/ Lilo (real name)
Age:30
Current children: 3 year old DS
Losses: I think several very early MCs
Diagnosis: none yet
Next apt: none yet
Cycles TTC: on and off for 3 years as frustration permits. During an 8 yr. marriage have only prevented 6 months

Screen Name (Real Name): School123 (Lizzie)
Age: 35 my Dh is 36
Current Children and age: DD1 11, DS1 age 8, DS2 age 2.5
Lost Children and dates: 9 mc
Diagnosis: secondary infertility, unexplained
Next appointment: None
Cycles TTC another: too long, then decided we were done, then surprise +HPT, then another mc

Screen Name (Real Name): meeshkasheeba (Tina)
Age: 28 (DH 28)
Current Children and age: DS1 6 DS2 3
Lost Children and Dates: 8 Wk Miscarriage Jan, '07
Diagnosis: stage IV endometriosis, adenomyosis, and PCOS
Treatment and meds: multiple surgeries, Lupron x 6mo started 5/3, metformin, gluten free diet, and a slew of vitamins
Next Apt: Monday 10/15 ultrasound to see progress for the adenomyosis
Cycles Trying: 26 (counting my 6mo of Lupron TX)

Screen Name (Real Name): jacquelinemarie82 (Jacqueline)
Age: 30
Current Children and age: Jasmine, 2 years old (2/10/2010)
Lost Children and Dates: N/A
Diagnosis: male infertility
Treatment and meds: Clomid / IUI cycle #3
Next Appointment: Currently in 2ww
Cycles TTC another:

Screen Name (Real Name): carlaross (Carla)
Age: 36, DH 39
Current children and ages: Zach 17, Jarrod 16, Griffin 2 (12-28-09)
Diagnosis: DH had vasectomy '99 (previous marriage), reversal 3/09. Immediately (9 days after surgery) and had my LO 12-28-09. Never used birth control, began TTC another immediately after 1st PPAF, 8/10. After 15 cycles, we began a fertility workup and were devastated to find out he has complete scarring of the reversal site and a zero sperm count. :(
Cycles TTC another: since Aug 2010
Next appointment: January 9 (with my ob/gyn to begin my fertility workup and discuss options)


Screen Name (Real Name): slimy72 (Laurel)
Age: 30 Dh 32
Current Children and age: DS 4 1/2yo
Lost Children and Dates: 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, Sept. 2011, Sept. 2012
Diagnosis: Endometriosis, do not ovulate regularly. Dh- MS, Celiacs, Ulcerative colitis.
Treatment and meds: Clomid, provera, prometrium, baby aspirin and a host of supplements and vitamins. Laprascope '09, lupron shots '09, trying out acupuncture and chiropractic right now too.
Next Appointment: Consult in late November with RE, waiting for him to hear back from another specialist on some odd test results.
Cycles TTC another: 4 1/2 yrs for DS, 3 1/2 yrs so far for #2.

Screen Name (Real Name): sdavis514 (Sarah)
Age: 32 (DH 33)
Current Children and age: one DS age 5
Lost Children and Dates: none
Diagnosis: We were NTNP for 4 years, diagnosed with PCOS in 2003 and put on clomid from 9/04-1/05, no results, took break and became pregnant with DS with no intervention in Aug 2006. Recent blood work suggested no insulin resistance.
Treatment and meds: BCP, starting meds soon for IVF
Next Appointment: 10/25 for endo biopsy and mock transfer
Cycles TTC another: NTNP for 4 years, Actively TTC since Jan 11

Screen Name (Real Name): JCPACandMommy (Carissa)
Age: 31 (DH 35)
Current Children and age: one DS age 4.5Lost Children and Dates: Oct 25, 2012 Blighted Ovum and Ectopic on Right Ovary at 6w3d
Diagnosis: PCOS as of Jan '12 but I am ovulating RE said I have Old Ovaries and No PCOS?
Treatment and meds: Past: Femara 5mg once daily CD4-8,Metfomin 500mg 3x dialy, Prenatal Daily, HCG trigger ~CD12
New Treatment: Follistim CD 3-8, Estrace CD8-11, Ovadril Trigger CD9, IUI CD11, Endometrin CD 15 on
Next Appointment: Nov 21 F/U from MC and D&C with Methotrexate x2
Cycles TTC another: Mirena Out April 5, 2011 was NTNP till Aug, then active TTC since then with No luck we are on Cycle #18

Women Pregnant and praying to make it. :crossfingers: :preggo: :pray: If you need to be added to this list please give your EDD and the date you will be 12 weeks. Thank you! To find out how many weeks you are use this link.

Screen Name (Real Name): love4leon (Rebecca)
Age: 38 (DH 38)
Current Children and age: Winnie 5 years
Diagnosis: Endometriosis (Me) DH diagnosed with Low sperm count, low motility, and liquidation. 5/11 diagnosed with testicular cancer. Finished chemo August 2011
Treatment and meds: IUI done 1/2/2011, 2/5/2011, 3/2011, 4/2011 Clomid days 5-9, trigger shot and IUI on 2/14/2012,IVF starts June- Egg retrieval June 20th. Have 8 Day 5 embryos waiting for us.
Next Appointment: November 26th for u/s
Cycles TTC another: 3 years
12 weeks: January 11, 2013

Screen Name (Real Name): amyltc (Amy)
Age: 29 my Dh is 33
Current Children and age: DD1 Allie, age 6, DD2 Hannah age 4
Lost Children and dates: none
Diagnosis: Endometriosis, surgery to remove 9/14/10, mostly unexplained infertility
Next appointment: December 12th, 8 week u/s
Due Date: July 25th
12 weeks on: January 10th
Cycles TTC another: about 3.5 years

Screen Name (Real Name): finleyjudemommy (Susan)
Age (DH): 47 (ME) 36
Current Children and age: B/G twins 6 and YDD 4
Lost Children and dates: M/C March 04, M/C June 09, Chemical Feb 10 and stillborn October 10
Next appointment:
Will be 23 weeks on Friday. Due date is Feb 8 although will be induced before that. We have opted not to find out the gender.

Screen Name (Real Name): ingrid5699 (Ingrid)
Age (DH): 41 (ME) 37
Current Children and age: Patrick, 5 years, Aurelia 3 years
Lost Children and dates: triplets Nov. 2004, baby B May 2006, latest little angel 2'12, chemical pregnancy 6'12
Diagnosis: Me: endometriosis and immunological issues, DH: male factor
Treatment and Meds: fresh IVF #10 done, too many meds to list
Cycles TTC another: never prevented after DD was born 12'08, 4 fresh IVFs, 1 FET this time around (and 2 FETs with nothing to transfer)
Due date: May 30th
Will be 12w Nov 15th

Screen Name (Real Name): yellowitchgrl (Sarah)
Age: 30 (husband 34)
Current Children and age: Andrew-7, Luke-4
Lost Children and Dates: Zach (15w, 7/09), Toby (12w, 12/09), Simon (14w, 6/11)
Diagnosis: I'm perfectly healthy, so are the babies (except they're dead)
Treatment and meds: Praying and some extra folic acid (my idea, not docs)
Next Appointment: Not bothering.
Cycles TTC another: Not trying, but not preventing either

Screen Name (Real Name): Psylion (Alanna)
Age (DH): 37 (ME) 38
Diagnosis:high FSH and DOR
Treatment and meds: this will be our third injectables cycle with iui, the first two were with letrozole and menopur and this one is just menopur and metformin
Current Children and age: Sequoia is 4 1/2
Lost Children and dates: early MC 2/12
Next appointment: ?
Cycles TTC another: we only prevented a few months since DD was born
EDD: 12/12/12
12 weeks: May 30, 2012[/COLOR]


Screen Name (Real Name): GracieMak'sMama (Sara)
Age: 22 (DH 23)
Current Children and age: one DD age 2(almost)
Diagnosis: Unexplained Infertility
Treatment and meds: Natural diet
Cycles TTC another: Almost a full year.
EDD: Oct 9th
12 weeks: 3/26



:hide: :cheerleader2: Lurkers/Waiting to TTC/Graduates/Cheerleaders :hide: :cheerleader2:

Screen name (Real Name): Fleece Be With You (Jessica)
Age: 24
Children and ages: Hunter, born 9-18-09
Losses: none
Diagnosis: Celiac disease (unconfirmed, but a safe assumption at this point)
Treatment: Very limited version of GAPS diet, digestive enzymes, vitamin supplements
Next Appt: Seeing my chiropractor next week to look into my cortisol/adrenal issues.
Cycles TTC another: We haven't been preventing since Hunter was born.

Screen Name (Real Name): Harmony96 (Andrea)
Age: 33 (DH 31)
Current Children and age: DD (5), DS (29m)
Lost Children and Dates: ^i^ DS 11/27/11-12/24/11
Diagnosis: No official diagnosis, but currently having short luteal phases (6-7 days). Probably is just what my body "does" for its first few postpartum cycles.
Treatment and meds: Prenatal, folic acid, iron, several other supplements. Also trying to eat right and exercise (and hopefully lose about 15 pounds, but none of that has happened yet).
Next Appointment: N/A
Cycles TTC another: Lost baby was a c-section, had VBAC consult in March '12 and was told we could go ahead and try again if we felt ready.

Screen Name (Real Name): Hannah Elise (errr.. Hannah... hehe)
Age: 23, and dh is 22
Diagnosis: non-celiac gluten intolerant, malabsorption of nutrients
Treatment and meds: Gluten-free diet. Supplementing with Metagest (stomach acids and enzymes to improve proper digestion), aloe vera gel, and probiotics. Current Children and age: Asher (aka "Wee Goon"), 12.5 months
Cycles: 12/4/11, 1/12/12, 2/11/12, 3/20/12

Screen Name (Real Name): Vegan Princess (Cindy)
Age (SO):32
Current Children and age: Child 1: 2.5 yrs
Lost Children and dates: Chemical pregnancy (11/10), miscarriage at 9.5 weeks (5/11), possible chemical pregnancy (9/11)
Diagnosis: Diminished ovarian reserve for me. Moderate or severe male factor (depending on who you ask) for DH
Treatment and Meds:Beginning 2nd IUI cycle w/5mg femara, ovidrel trigger and prometrium. Will do this cycle and one more IUI and then meet with doctor to discuss IVF or using donor egg. - Moved to IVF
Next appointment: Follicle scan on 9/ 29. IUI on 10/1 or thereabouts. Will meet with RE to discuss game plan again in November.
Cycles TTC another: Had IUD removed 4/10 but really have been trying since 6/10.


Screen name (Real Name): heatherlovesCD's (Heather)
Age: me - 33, hubby - 38
Children and ages: boy 6, Twins girl/boy 4, Twins boy/boy 22 months.
Losses: March '07
Diagnosis: severe male factor infertility
Treatment: IVF/FET, 1 fresh IVF cycle = 1 boy. FET's = 1 early m/c, 2 sets of twins, 1 BFN
Cycles TTC another: I don't keep track. We have been TTC since 11/10.
Due date: Oct 15th
Date I'll be 12wks: 4/2/12


Screen Name (Real Name): Sillyutalktome (Jeanette)
Age: 30 (DH 29)
Current Children and age: Dd - M - 6/08
Lost Children and Dates: Etopic 7/09 (8 weeks) Possible chemical 6/10
Diagnosis: tubal infertility & male factor
Treatment and meds:1st IVF 10/18/11 BFN, FET planned for January
BFP: 2/7/12
EDD: 10/12/12[/QUOTE]


Screen Name (Real Name): Wordmama (Lucy)
Lost children: 8 early miscarriages, Libi (8 week ectopic, March 2011)
Diagnosis: Damaged right tube for me, poor morphology for DH
Treatment and meds:Prayer, maca, zinc
Cycles TTC another: Over a year
EDD: June 18, 2012


Screen Name (Real Name): Dewberri (joy)
Lost Children and dates: Dec. 2010 (6 wks); June 2011 (Kayle(e), 11wks)
Diagnosis: ANA, nonspecific
Treatment: Aspirin daily, Progesterone till 10 weeks
EDD: June 14, 2012


Screen Name (Real Name):
Liz*RN*BSN (Elizabeth)
Lost Children: 5 early m/c
Diagnosis: PCOS, Recurrent Miscarriage, Factor 5 Leiden Clotting Disorder
Treatment and meds: Lovenox, Baby Aspirin, Metformin, PNV, Endometrin
TTC: Over 1 year

Screen Name (Real Name): Meldo (Melissa)
Losses: 1
Diagnosis: DH has low sperm count/motility. Both of our kids were IVF/ICSI babies.
Cycles TTC another: It's our 8th (and last) IVF cycle.
EDD: May 1, 2012

Hope4More 11-19-2012 08:21 AM

Woke up slightly neasous today and cried to silent night on the radio. That's GOTTA be a sign, right??? Lol.

Love4leon 11-19-2012 09:16 AM

Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hope4More (Post 15948959)
Woke up slightly neasous today and cried to silent night on the radio. That's GOTTA be a sign, right??? Lol.

I think so :) :thumbsup:Fingers are crossed!!!!

MyGlorylife 11-19-2012 10:41 AM

Joining this group. :). I'll put all my info in this afternoon when I get home <3

ChihuahuaMama13 11-19-2012 12:24 PM

Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
Have my progesterone draw set up for December 10th! Hopefully mid-December I'll be starting our first round of Clomid!

slyfoxy 11-19-2012 12:46 PM

Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
Hope everyone is doing good today.

AFM: Started having some mild cramping today but trying to think anything much about it. Called the doctors office earlier today an wanted to double check about starting my Prometrium tomorrow night an make sure I heard my doctor right of using it down low. :giggle: The nurse said that was correct an I go for my progesterone check Friday an tomorrow is my birthday then turkey day be here. Me an DH been doing what doctor said for us to do over the weekend on Bd'ng an DH has loved it.

Ladies I'll be thinking of all of you an praying we see lots of BFP very soon. To the ones still waiting to try I'll also be praying for you too.

amyltc 11-19-2012 03:48 PM

Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
Hey everyone, reading along, but I haven't replied much, I know I am in no position to complain, but I'm kinda shocked at how hard this has been so far, I just keep worrying so much about losing this baby. I have no signs that anything is wrong at all, I just think its because of how long it took us to get here. Anyway my first appointment is on the 12th of December, and I'm hoping we can see a little bean and a nice strong heartbeat, then I think I'll relax.

I'm praying for all of you to get a nice BFP here soon!

amyltc 11-19-2012 03:49 PM

Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
Oh and you can move me to pg and praying to make it

Screen Name (Real Name): amyltc (Amy)
Age: 29 my Dh is 33
Current Children and age: DD1 Allie, age 6, DD2 Hannah age 4
Lost Children and dates: none
Diagnosis: Endometriosis, surgery to remove 9/14/10, mostly unexplained infertility
Next appointment: December 12th, 8 week u/s
Due Date: July 25th
12 weeks on: January 10th
Cycles TTC another: about 3.5 years

MyGlorylife 11-19-2012 04:08 PM

Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th
 
Screen name:MyGlorylife (Real Name): Minda
Age: 33, dh is 36
Children and ages:10 kids, 7 natural born, 3 step: dd13, dd11 1/2, ds10 1/2, dd 10, ds 9, dd8, ds7, ds5 1/2, ds almost 4, ds 2
Losses: 9/98 5 wks, 10/98 7 weeks, 05/2000 twins 1 at 10 weeks and one at 12, 04/04 twins 1 at 9 weeks, 1 at 11 weeks, 8/2008 DS's twin at 4 months (but scan showed twin had dies around 10 weeks), 7/2012 4weeks
Diagnosis:Currently TTC post V-Reversal that was done in 6/2012, 7 yrs after V was originally done.
Cycles TTC another:5 months this including the mc in july

Hope4More 11-19-2012 07:31 PM

Conferences were today. Everyone loves my new science program, so that bodes VERY well for my job (we are not tenured, but have to be rehired every fall). Sucky part: my last conference laughed at my story about DS, and said 2 1/2 is a great distance between 2 kids, when are we having another. Today is one month since June was born at 8 weeks. Talk about a punch in the gut. I stayed ok there, but cried for the 20 minute ride home. What a kick in the teeth. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her- I KNOW she'd feel awful, and there's no sense in two people feeling that way, KWIM? It's not like she meant to hurt me.

Ugh. I need hugs and liquor tonight. Alas, I won't HAVE liquor, just drink hot cocoa and pretend...


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