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amb2j 11-20-2012 12:48 PM

Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH
DH and I have a fairly good relationship, but recently, Ive accepted I had to do some house keeping and force some unhealthy people/habits out of our relationship for good (he has been back and forth about doing so for years but nothing consistent). Ive realized they are really causing me a lot of emotional issues, causing feelings of insecurity, pulling us farther apart, and just generally not good for our marriage. He agreed with me at one point (actually it was initially his idea to rid us of these issues), but had then gotten into the habit of overindulging in these bad habits/behaviors/people so he sees things differently now. Ive prayed about it for years and been speaking with some very trusted pastors (who he has actually know/trusted longer than I have) and realized that I had to be the one to step up and form those healthy boundaries for the betterment of our marriage (otherwise, those people/habits would erode the marriage anyway). All this to say, Ive had to essentially confront people against his will (because he was essentially just sinfully indulging. It felt good so he didnt want to stop).

I feel such a sense of relief that its DONE, and those people/habits are OVER for good, and he CLEARLY knows where I stand and what is expected from him, but I know DH will NOT be happy initially and Ill have to deal with that backlash. I know he will ultimately calm down and see the proper side of things, but right now, he is just angry and it stinks to deal with (especially right before Thanksgiving).

Just asking for prayers for his heart to soften, for him to see the other perspectives (one he once shared) and for his anger to dissipate.

Ive intentionally kept this vague. This is not about who is right/wrong. Just requesting prayers that he sees things more in line with the belief system he claims to share. Thanks for the thoughts/prayers mamas.

Bellaroo 11-20-2012 01:59 PM

Re: Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH

famaza 11-20-2012 02:52 PM

Re: Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH
Praying for you!:hugs:

amb2j 11-20-2012 06:43 PM

Thanks a bunch. I know what I did was the right thing. I just need to keep reminding myself about that while things are ironed out. Im sure we have all been in similar situations ( making the right decision can be hard- I think that's why it took us so long to make it. It was so much easier to ignore it) so I'm glad for the support.

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loving my family 11-20-2012 07:37 PM

Re: Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH
Praying things will all work out peacefully, also that no resentment will be in either one of your hearts when everything is done. :hugs:

amb2j 11-21-2012 05:58 AM

Thank u mama. That is definitely a concern- resentment.

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s@hmommy 11-21-2012 06:24 AM

Re: Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH
Prayers momma! DH and I are just now getting back to normal after 6+ months of issues, it is tough but completely worth it when things are the way that you can both be happy.

loving my family 11-21-2012 10:20 PM

Re: Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH
I could tell :hugs:

amb2j 11-26-2012 03:51 PM

Things are better. I think he has spoken to his mother (a pastor) who must have supported my position bc she randomly called me out of the blue yesterday "to see how the family is doing." He has really been making an effort to make amends with me for all this has caused and investing in our family. He says he sees my position and apologizes for his behavior (instead of justifying it like before). I think this has been a positive in disguise bc its forced us to look at some long standing issues and actually address them :) instead of just moving past it, we are moving thru it which is much preferred bc once it's really dealt with, it won't come up again.

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s@hmommy 11-26-2012 03:58 PM

Re: Prayers: going through a rough spell with DH
Awesome! I hope things continue to get better for your family.

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