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-   -   Very new to this-more harm than good? (

kimmyj 11-27-2012 12:40 PM

Very new to this-more harm than good?
Sometimes it's hard not to listen to all of the "advice" that seasoned mom's give. My first baby, a little boy, is now 8 months old. I definitely am not trying to potty train him now.

We cloth diaper full time (gDiapers for days and pockets at night) and love it. We recently were given a potty seat that makes the regular toilet littler for small butts.

Before getting the toilet seat, I tried a few times holding our boy over the toilet after nursing because I had read that he will usually pee shortly after nursing. I have always done this at night before I put him in his night time diaper - mostly just hoping to keep him dry longer. However, he never peed in the toilet, and I always gave up.

Now that we have the toilet seat, HE LOVES TO SIT ON IT!! So I want to start trying to do potty time before I put him in his night diaper. Last night he did a poopy in the big potty! I am starting to think that after each time I nurse him, we will sit on the potty and start using cues.

I'm being told that "potty training" too early can be detrimental, but this doesn't seem like it can hurt. We are not committed to EC yet, but we were thrilled when it worked last night. Would it hurt to do it a few times a day but not full time?

mamaspice 11-27-2012 12:53 PM

I think what is harmful about some kinds of early potty training is being forceful about it, having developmentally inappropriate expectations, or labeling a baby's potty behavior as good or bad when they are very young. In fact I think those practices are harmful at any age.

EC isn't about those things- it is just offering baby an opportunity to go in a potty instead of a diaper. It is gentle, patient, and about two-way communication with the parent in the lead on helping baby get to the potty when they need to go.

So I say go for it! Other common times to offer the potty is upon waking or at diaper changes.

I'd recommend The Diaper Free Baby or the EC Simplified e-book (very compehensive!) for more tips. Both have sections on ecing part time and ecing with older babies. Good luck!

shen7 11-27-2012 08:35 PM

Yes, please read a book on EC... it is SO different from the harsh early potty training methods of 100 years ago!!! It is all about just giving your baby the opportunity to use something other than a diaper to eliminate, and communicating with him about his needs. There is no coercion, no praise, no punishment, no "training" in the way most people think of it. If he doesn't want to use the potty, that is absolutely fine. If he does, no big deal, he went.

I find EC a great way to bond with my baby, we are very relaxed and part time with it. But at 18 months she does at least half her poops in the potty and tells me when she wants to use it and I feel is very naturally working towards being diaper free. I am into non coercive parenting in general so I find this a much preferable alternative to mainstream potty training with stickers and M&Ms and all that nonsense.

strongwoman 11-27-2012 10:29 PM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?
Welcome to the EC Forum! I would try it part time- no pressure, just fun! I think it's great that your LO likes to sit on the seat and that you made a "catch"- woohoo! I read through EC Simplified and it was very helpful. Lots of info, lots of examples and very easy to understand. And she fully encourages both full-time and part-time EC. It's really up to you. Hope to see more of your successes here on DS!

waterisntsomething 11-27-2012 10:49 PM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?
PP's have got it! It's not any sort of training. DS is 10 months now and hasn't pooped in his diaper for a long time. I don't catch pees but I can always tell when he's about to poop and it's just more comfortable for him to do it on the potty (or side of the road :giggle: ) than in his diaper. It's not even like an expectation that I have of him..more like he would be like "ew, gross mom" if I made him poop in his diaper.

oldmomma 11-28-2012 08:38 AM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?
We do part time ec and I like to do pants free with DD2. I do find it hard sometimes to be relaxed about "misses" especially when I am stressed out or short on time or it is the third time I am cleaning up a miss on the floor. So when that happens, I just put on a diaper and move one. Or I put on a homemade trainer.

happyhungryhippo 11-29-2012 08:40 AM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?
I was told that early potty training can be detrimental when I first started EC as well. I just simply replied that I'm not potty training my LO -- she's potty training me!

We EC part-time and it has worked out very well. LO sits on the potty between most transitions during the day (ie. after nursing, eating, before we go outside and after we return indoors). Sometimes we catch every pee, sometimes she has some in between sitting on the potty.

I think the idea that starting potty training too early is bad comes from thinking that potty training is something forced upon the child. If you're relaxed about EC, keep the whole idea of sitting on a potty fun, and remind yourself that sitting on the potty is just an invitation to pee rather than a demand (and you are going to have to remind yourself during a day full of misses -- it's easy to get flustered on those days!!) then there's nothing for the child to rebel against or get frustrated with.

sucrets4 11-29-2012 11:47 PM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?
Ditto everyone else. There is nothing harmful about paying attention to your DSs cues and letting him go outside of a diaper! I always try to think back to how people did things before washing machines and disposable diapers...I'm sure those women wearing their kids in the field all day took breaks when they noticed their kids had to go!

DD was a predictable pooper when we started at 6m and since then she rarely went in her diaper. I absolutely loved ECing and look forward to start from the beginning with DD2, due in March.

abunchoflemons 11-30-2012 01:30 AM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?
I think & have talked to seasoned irl moms.....if ready do don't push unless closer to school esp 4 boys as sometimes take longer..... somestes if u push too hard b4 ready u have resistence. Go for it. We do potty naked time & my 19 month tells after she needs changed so start here on communication but oldest was 3 to 4 to potty train. My book I got says gradual when they can take off clothes.... sounds like he's raring to go. My cousin boy was fast learner with older sis since close in age.

oldmomma 11-30-2012 02:12 PM

Re: Very new to this-more harm than good?

Originally Posted by happyhungryhippo (Post 15984288)
I was told that early potty training can be detrimental when I first started EC as well. I just simply replied that I'm not potty training my LO -- she's potty training me!

I say the same thing!!

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