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threelittlehoneys 12-04-2012 10:49 AM

Raising confident children
Dh and I both lack confidence.

What can we do to help our kids grow up confident in themselves? Book suggestions, or anything?

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joyous 12-04-2012 11:16 AM

So I haven't actually read this book, but it comes highly recommended from a therapist friend and is on my list. It's called The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel.

I also think it's important to work on our own level of confidence, because no matter what we say to our kids, they pick up so much from our own views of ourselves. It is definitely something I am working on. So much of parenting is modeling. They pick up on subtleties. I am realizing it more and more as I watch my DD grow, and as I examine my own perceptions based on my parents. Not that if we're not confident our kids are doomed to have low self-esteem. Not at all. But working on ourselves is a good place to start. Not just for our kids, but because we deserve to think well of ourselves.

threelittlehoneys 12-04-2012 11:57 AM

You are so right! My self image is awful. Dh's is not as bad most of the time. Thanks for the book recommend I will check it out! Reviews look pretty good

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mibarra 12-04-2012 01:43 PM

Re: Raising confident children
I think the best thing to do is work on your own confidence. When you are comfortable and confident in yourselves, I think that rubs off some. I also praise my kids efforts (not their results), and try to make sure my compliments don't depend on perfect products or appearances. So instead of saying 'What a pretty house you drew', I say "I can see you worked hard on your picture, can you tell me about it?" :)

bluedaisyma 12-04-2012 02:03 PM

Re: Raising confident children
I don't think I have a lot of self-confidence. My kids, however, exude it. I think it's the way I raise them. I encourage them to do their best and applaud their efforts. I accept who they are, without judgement. I always felt like I was never "good enough" in my mom's eyes. I know she loves me, but it's always little digs ("oh you aren't going to put on lipstick before we go out" "you're so pretty, why don't you lose weight"). So, I have high expectations for my kids of behavior and so forth, but I model it and help them with ways to achieve their goals and importantly, to embrace WHO they are, not what they do or don't do.

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