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-   -   Why cant i just be happy about my body... (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1470686)

MyM&W 12-08-2012 12:21 PM

Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
Especially growing a baby! I'm almost13 weeks (Tuesday) and I've gained 8.5lbs so far. Seriously! I feel like a whale. All the weights gone yo my legs. I find myself obsessing over my weight. I know its not healthy....I hate it...but I can't stop. I pick at every flaw my body has...daily. its emotionally exhausting. I compare myself to everyone else, which isn't fair because everyone is different. I see all these posts about people who are 20+ weeks along and have only gained 3lbs...it makes me feel worse.
I need to get over this. I know I need to get over it. But how?

Sorry, its probably more of a venting/whining post. I'm good at making these types of posts. :p dh says I look hot, awesome, beautiful...but I just don't see it. I have girlfriends and random people say how great I look...but I don't believe them.
Do I have one weird disorder? I'm seriously thinking about seeking professional help...

cdeweese 12-08-2012 12:33 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
Do you workout? I find that even if I'm making the effort to walk 30 minutes a few times a week I feel loads better about myself :) I don't think it's so much about how I look, but how I feel I'm taking care of myself.

evasimone 12-08-2012 12:43 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
:hugs: I gained almost ten pounds in just the first trimester. Then the weight gain really slowed down and I haven't gained a lot in the second and third. I think every pregnancy and every weight gain was different. The first trimester I was so hungry and I wanted/needed to eat frequently because I felt queasy if I didn't.

I think just try to remember that "this too shall pass" that's what I tell myself. I have stretchmarks all over and I feel huge. But I know that after the baby comes I'll be able to reclaim my body. Right now its important that I eat decent meals for the baby and allow weight gain within moderation.

and honestly if everyone is telling you that you look radiant and gorgeous you probably do. Trust your friends and hubby!

EmilytheStrange 12-08-2012 12:44 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cdeweese (Post 16019977)
Do you workout? I find that even if I'm making the effort to walk 30 minutes a few times a week I feel loads better about myself :) I don't think it's so much about how I look, but how I feel I'm taking care of myself.

I agree with this.

I obsess. I weigh every morning. This is pregnant and not pregnant. I compare myself to ladies at the hospital tours, etc.

but.. I walk 2miles a day, I try to eat well and I drink the proper amount of water every day for my weight. And those things work for me in more than one way. Firstly, they make me feel like I'm making good decisions. And then, exercise increases happy endorphins, so I do feel better about myself and what I've accomplished. and of course, the water reduces most swelling and bloating issues, etc.

It's normal to obsess about weight gain. It's not normal if you start not eating or over-exercising - especially while pregnant.

so, if you haven't already, I'd just work on establishing good habits.

delicatefade 12-08-2012 01:10 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
Let me make you feel better... I am 22 weeks and have gained 15 pounds so far. My legs are horribly ugly with varicose veins, and my skin is so dry, I can't stop scratching. My legs will never look nice again.... You can't lose varicose veins like you can extra weight. I try not to let it bother me, but then I see other women my age (29) and how gorgeous their legs are and know that I will never look good in a short skirt or shorts again. Not to mention how painful they are.

MyM&W 12-08-2012 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdeweese (Post 16019977)
Do you workout? I find that even if I'm making the effort to walk 30 minutes a few times a week I feel loads better about myself :) I don't think it's so much about how I look, but how I feel I'm taking care of myself.

I work out daily..my friends think I work out "to much"..I run, walk, kick boxing, various workouts ..

Quote:

Originally Posted by evasimone (Post 16019997)
:hugs: I gained almost ten pounds in just the first trimester. Then the weight gain really slowed down and I haven't gained a lot in the second and third. I think every pregnancy and every weight gain was different. The first trimester I was so hungry and I wanted/needed to eat frequently because I felt queasy if I didn't.

I think just try to remember that "this too shall pass" that's what I tell myself. I have stretchmarks all over and I feel huge. But I know that after the baby comes I'll be able to reclaim my body. Right now its important that I eat decent meals for the baby and allow weight gain within moderation.

and honestly if everyone is telling you that you look radiant and gorgeous you probably do. Trust your friends and hubby!

well I'm glad I'm not the only one that's gained weight in the 1st tri.
I have an appt coming up next week and I feast the doctors are going to say I've gained to much...that will really upset me..
Quote:

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange (Post 16019999)

I agree with this.

I obsess. I weigh every morning. This is pregnant and not pregnant. I compare myself to ladies at the hospital tours, etc.

but.. I walk 2miles a day, I try to eat well and I drink the proper amount of water every day for my weight. And those things work for me in more than one way. Firstly, they make me feel like I'm making good decisions. And then, exercise increases happy endorphins, so I do feel better about myself and what I've accomplished. and of course, the water reduces most swelling and bloating issues, etc.

It's normal to obsess about weight gain. It's not normal if you start not eating or over-exercising - especially while pregnant.

so, if you haven't already, I'd just work on establishing good habits.

Haha I can't not eat. I get low blood sugar real fast..and that coupled with my low blood pressure (98/52 ish) I start getting dizzy and feel awful..so I eat every 3-4hrs
Quote:

Originally Posted by delicatefade (Post 16020070)
Let me make you feel better... I am 22 weeks and have gained 15 pounds so far. My legs are horribly ugly with varicose veins, and my skin is so dry, I can't stop scratching. My legs will never look nice again.... You can't lose varicose veins like you can extra weight. I try not to let it bother me, but then I see other women my age (29) and how gorgeous their legs are and know that I will never look good in a short skirt or shorts again. Not to mention how painful they are.

:hugs: sorry mama! My thighs have always been "thick" so shorts never look good on me, so I feel ya!

cowangel 12-09-2012 02:32 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
So sorry mama - I struggle with this too. This will be my 5th pregnancy...so my body has seem better days. I lost the weight really easy with #1 & #2, but with #3 & #4 it hasn't fallen off the same way. I have had C/S so I have this roll above my scar I fear I may never get rid of. I tend to be sick in the 1st and 2nd trimester and loose weight vs. gain it but I make up for it in the end. I've been working on eating better, I work out more this pregnancy and before than I have in the last year or so. I just feel like I always look slightly pregnant now and it bugs me. I too find myself comparing myself to others all the time (and falling short in my judgements of myself). I think I have struggled with depression or some sort of anorexia at different points in my life that way un-diagnosised, but never while pregnant. So, just letting you know you are not alone...

EmilytheStrange 12-09-2012 04:01 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
I was thinking about this last night (yeah.. no explaination on 'why' there.. )

and I was thinking that it's really easy to get down on your pregnancy body before you start feeling baby moving around and before you get a proper bump. I think you will find you'll feel better about everything and relax a bit once you're feeling the kicks and such. Then it's a constant reminder of the awesome thing your body is doing.

Now that I've got a proper bump, I think I look awesome. I love seeing my belly sticking out all over the place. And then, every little kick seems to bring me happy endorphins.

I think it's just hard before that because you're just...................... feeling chunky.

happymama1 12-09-2012 08:40 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
:hugs: mama

I've been there too. I've always been tall, and I have a sturdy build. It's genetics. I've never been "fat", but I've always been at the top of the weight range for my height...even since I was a baby. Not much you can do about it.

However, I know that there is a serious trend these days where women are starving themselves and over-exercising in pregnancy, just to keep the "hollywood inspired" adorable petite pregnant body...like the pregnant fashion models. It's not healthy for them or for their baby. It's one thing if you are born with the genes that make you petite, with a petite baby and you naturally don't gain much in pregnancy...it's another to force it to happen.

For me, I've always gained 40lbs with each baby. It doesn't seem to matter what I do. With this pregnancy I've been walking a lot more, and trying hard to eat nutritious food and smaller portion sizes to avoid over-eating. Normally I gain a pound for every week pregnant I am :giggle:

This time is going better, but not by much. I gained 10lbs the first 20 weeks, but once I hit 20 weeks, I started gaining 1lb a week. In the end, I guess I will hopefully be around 30lbs with this baby...but the pregnant body was made to gain weight. I always have an awesome milk supply with lots of fat to share with my nursling....

Hang in there! You are taking care of your body and your baby...and giving him/her the best chance for a healthy start in life.

cdeweese 12-09-2012 08:50 PM

Re: Why cant i just be happy about my body...
 
Tell your Dr at your appt how worried you are and how much you're exercising. They'll be able to help you know what's excessive and maybe calm your weight-gain fears. I agree with the above poster about feeling "chunky" before you really start to show. Trust what your DH is saying. He's right!


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