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-   -   Quitting a great job to stay home (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1471763)

Greenwife 12-11-2012 11:45 PM

Quitting a great job to stay home
 
I could use input and advice from anyone who has done this. I've been with my company for 12 years, have a great work environment, fairly flexible schedule, good pay/benefits/401k, etc. I have worked my way up from receptionist to manager. But I'm on call all the time and even on a reduced schedule of 30 hours/week, I spend my day off dealing with work, it never goes away.

Financially we can do it, but it will require a huge lifestyle change and means giving up my current 401k contribution/match. DH is a teacher, but in the highest-paying district in our area, we have no debt and our expenses are few.

Besides finances, what other things should I consider in quitting? I realize I will need to get on DH's insurance. We're planning a trial phase of living off just DH's income starting Jan 1st, only daycare expense will come out of my paycheck.

redsonja 12-11-2012 11:58 PM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
I left a wonderful job making very good money to be home with my girls. It was an adjustment, both financially and emotionally. My identity was very much tied up in my profession, I absolutely LOVED what I did, but like you it was too much. I was always home late, working crazy hours, always devoted to the job. I miss it almost every single day, but now I can devote myself completely to the girls and their goings ons, it's better. I look forward to the day I can get back to it, but I'm happy now. My suggestion after looking at the finance aspect of it, is to look at the emotional aspect of it.

threekstrio 12-12-2012 12:17 AM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
I left a wonderful job that I loved to be home with my children.

I have heard many women say that they regret that they didn't stay home with their children. I've never once heard a mother say she regretted that she was home.

You only get one chance at this. It is totally worth the sacrifices.

schmerna 12-12-2012 07:28 AM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
You should also consider what you will do when the children are in school or grown.

How will you remain competitive in the job market? Will you need to go back for a degree?

How will it impact your retirement? Obviously your employer match will disappear as will your contribution. Will you be able to contribute to a Roth? Your SS retirement calculation is determined, in part, by your top earning 35 of years in the workforce. A few years of $0 earnings will negatively impact it.

What kinds of adult interaction will you plan for yourself to stay sane? Can you afford those costs?

Does your employer offer other benefits (health ins, life ins, tuition remission) that you will be giving up? Does DH have an equivalent?

Do you have savings in case DH is laid off? How likely is that? Teaching is not a secure profession in my area.

Is there a way to adjust your current work schedule to be more enjoyable? Example, only check voicemail and e-mail at 8am, 12pm, and 5pm on your days off. Use the out-of-office feature on your work e-mail. Block your calendar on your days off so you cannot be scheduled for a meeting. Teach someone else how to handle particularly recurrent, emergent or annoying situations. Leave typed instructions on how to handle problems. Negotiate for more vacation time or less weekly hours. A lot of this depends on your company and type of work.

I am in a similar position but cannot come to terms with giving up the security of a second job, benefits, and professional fulfillment that it brings. Obviously, this is a very personal decision.

mgmsrk 12-12-2012 09:21 AM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by schmerna (Post 16033826)
You should also consider what you will do when the children are in school or grown.

How will you remain competitive in the job market? Will you need to go back for a degree?

How will it impact your retirement? Obviously your employer match will disappear as will your contribution. Will you be able to contribute to a Roth? Your SS retirement calculation is determined, in part, by your top earning 35 of years in the workforce. A few years of $0 earnings will negatively impact it.

What kinds of adult interaction will you plan for yourself to stay sane? Can you afford those costs?

Does your employer offer other benefits (health ins, life ins, tuition remission) that you will be giving up? Does DH have an equivalent?

Do you have savings in case DH is laid off? How likely is that? Teaching is not a secure profession in my area.

Is there a way to adjust your current work schedule to be more enjoyable? Example, only check voicemail and e-mail at 8am, 12pm, and 5pm on your days off. Use the out-of-office feature on your work e-mail. Block your calendar on your days off so you cannot be scheduled for a meeting. Teach someone else how to handle particularly recurrent, emergent or annoying situations. Leave typed instructions on how to handle problems. Negotiate for more vacation time or less weekly hours. A lot of this depends on your company and type of work.

I am in a similar position but cannot come to terms with giving up the security of a second job, benefits, and professional fulfillment that it brings. Obviously, this is a very personal decision.

:goodpost:

There is also the what if the marriage dissolves? Will you be able to enter the work force with a decent job quickly?

If you are smart you not only have to live on DH's salary but his salary also has to cover your ability to contribute the amount you did to a IRA and make up for the SS you are loosing out on along with additional health care costs if there are any.

Even if you choose to leave I would still do as schmerna suggested and try to 'fix' the current work problems. You just don't need to be available 24-7 unless you own the business or are being paid for the work

LRL 12-12-2012 10:05 AM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
I am a WOHM currently on Maternity leave, and have pondered this same thing (although I am the main income earner, and it's mainly daydreaming for me!).

I would consider the following:
- While I would love to be at home with my kids, a huge portion of my identity is my career, and I would miss the adult interaction. I find that SAHMs around here are very different from me, and I would feel a little uncomfortable in playdates or preschool circles.
- It would be nice to spend time home with small children, and I am sure I wouldn't regret it, BUT if I work now I can earn the position and ability to have a lot more flexibility later when the kids are teenagers and more apt to get themselves into trouble without parents around.
- Making a retirement contribution early in your life is way more advantageous that trying to make-up for time lost later. Income contributed now makes more money!
- How hard is your industry to keep up with. For me, there are advances in technology and new regulations which require that I keep up to date. If I were to leave and try to get re-hired later, I would have to compete against people who know more than me about the current methods and regs, and that would work against me. If your industry is hard to get into, you definitely want to think about this one!
- I am LUCKY to have a good, decent paying job in this economy which enables me to support my family. I would only quit if we were doing REALLY WELL income-wise with only DH.

NorwexMa 12-12-2012 11:38 AM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
Thanks for all this ladies! It's always in the back of my mind too, especially because I'm surounded by SAHMs and sometimes feel guilty for working/sending kids to daycare. I feel crazy busy sometimes, but also need to remind myself that I need to get out and interact with adults and stay busy, otherwise I will quite likely deal with depression. Somedays it's a circle arguement in my head :-S

schmerna 12-12-2012 11:55 AM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NorwexMa (Post 16034828)
Thanks for all this ladies! It's always in the back of my mind too, especially because I'm surounded by SAHMs and sometimes feel guilty for working/sending kids to daycare. I feel crazy busy sometimes, but also need to remind myself that I need to get out and interact with adults and stay busy, otherwise I will quite likely deal with depression. Somedays it's a circle arguement in my head :-S

Good luck with your decision. It sounds like you have time to plan, think and then decide.

ctj101502 12-12-2012 04:01 PM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
Wow, very tough decision for some. I agree with a previous comment, you neer hear people say I wish I never stayed home and took care of my children. Also you never hear people say I wish I never had my children, they always wish they had more later.. So when you are older and look back on your life, where do you see yourself regretting the most things. Will you regret the time you could have had with your children, or the time you could have had improving your career and life as a whole.....Again hard decision, jus ask your older wiser self in the future what she would have done... (not joking though sounds goofy!!)

Greenwife 12-12-2012 10:36 PM

Re: Quitting a great job to stay home
 
Thanks for the input, definitely gives me things to think about. I don't love my job, I'm not doing something I dreamed I'd be doing...especially for so long. It's a career I happened into out of college and was able to work my way up and was given growth opportunities along the way. And the reality along the way was that starting in something new would reduce my salary by about 50%.

A few months ago I told them I needed to reduce my hours or would need to find something else. At that time I was working 50 hours, would get home pretty much at my DD's bedtime. It was lame and took a toll on all of us. My employer moved things around so I was working only 30 hours, taking one day a week off and leaving early the other days. I am still on call on my off-time. Unfortunately, in my industry the entire team is on call if something comes up. Monday was my off day and I had received a dozen calls on my cell phone by noon.

I know the right thing for us is for me to quit and am looking about 6 months out, once DH finishes his master's. He'll receive a decent raise for next year and has great job security and decent benefits (low out of pocket for me to be added to his insurance).


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