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-   -   Doula help- what would you do?! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1473952)

kushie tushie 12-20-2012 08:16 AM

Ok so my friend that was going to be our doula backed out at the last minute... Leaving us searching for a doula more than half way through this pregnancy.

We narrowed down to two women.

#1- a retired teacher. She's been a doula for 6 years and charges $450 (half the growing rate for our area). She give a military discount of 1/2, so $225! She lives in the next town over. So 10 minutes from my house, tops.

#2- a woman in her 30s high energy and fun. Her fee is $800. She lives half way between me and the birth center (35 minutes).

We decided to go with #1. Since the first time I talked to her we found out DH may not be here for the birth. I called her the other day and asked if she'd be our doula. She said "yes but don't forget I have another mama due Feb 23."

Um ok, this kind of puts a wrench in the situation. Both my babies were born 2 weeks early. DS at 37w5d and DD at 38w. If I follow that trend then I'll due around then..... So I now have a dilemma.

If DH is gone I want my doula there. I know the chances are small that we'll both be in labor at the same time but I'm totally stressing about this!

What would you do?

kushie tushie 12-20-2012 08:16 AM

My ipad sent before I was done. I'm going back to finish OP right now!

twinpossible 12-20-2012 09:00 AM

Re: Doula help- what would you do?!
 
I would hire #2 as long as she is open when you think you will give birth. Babies in my family come early too and there is no way I could handle that stress!

Hungry Caterpillar 12-20-2012 10:41 AM

Re: Doula help- what would you do?!
 
"high energy and fun" would probably freak me out during a birth process, lol. I had a C/S but I was with my sister for both of her births and was her lamaze partner for her first bc there was no dad in the picture at the time.

I would go with number 1 and just ask her to inform you when the other mother does go into labor so you can then breathe easy that when it's your time, she is available.

amb2j 12-20-2012 10:50 AM

Re: Doula help- what would you do?!
 
Id go with number 1, but would probably be a little stressed too.

kushie tushie 12-20-2012 11:04 AM

You guys would really go with #1 if that meant possibly being alone during your birth?

If DH is not here I will be alone. We are military and have no family around to be there.

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!

Christylkeller 12-20-2012 11:19 AM

Re: Doula help- what would you do?!
 
I would go with #1 too. Does she have a back up person in case there is an overlap? I know this must be a huge stress to you. I can't imagine not having DH here for the birth of one of our children. Hugs momma!

Palooka 12-20-2012 11:23 AM

I'm surprised #1 doesn't have a back up. Have you asked her about this? Like a doula in training who can help with prep or cleanup while she handles a birth? It's pretty unlikely you and the other mom will be in heavy labor at the exact same time. I've heard lots of stories of doulas who attend one birth and then rush to a second right after delivery, leaving a trainee or assistant to handle clean up. every due date is just a guess, so if a doula has more than one client it's sort of always a possibility, kwim?

You might contact the local doula certification program and ask if there is a volunteer doula program that could provide this sort of helper too.

kushie tushie 12-20-2012 11:28 AM

Doula #1 has no back up.

I don't know if it's pregnant hormones but that thought of her not being there with me is making me really sick and stressed.

If my DH isn't there then I want to make sure my Doula is....and I don't feel like she is a guarantee because of the dates.

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!

Hungry Caterpillar 12-20-2012 11:42 AM

Re: Doula help- what would you do?!
 
Would number two promise no other clients? It seems that is the only way to guarantee?

Quote:

Originally Posted by kushie tushie (Post 16064546)
Doula #1 has no back up.

I don't know if it's pregnant hormones but that thought of her not being there with me is making me really sick and stressed.

If my DH isn't there then I want to make sure my Doula is....and I don't feel like she is a guarantee because of the dates.

I'm mobile.... sorry for the typos!



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