Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com

Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community - DiaperSwappers.com (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/index.php)
-   Breastfeeding Support (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=14)
-   -   Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing. (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1474899)

chandni3 12-25-2012 06:37 AM

Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
 
My brother is getting married Aug 10. I'm due June 2 so I'll have a 2 month old. I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid and it's really stressing me out. The dresses she's pick are all strapless and as most bridesmaid dresses are, low. Not going to work with a nursing bra. She's saying (nicely) to just get a strapless bra and put breast pads in it and I'm trying to explain, it doesn't work that way. I feel mean putting demands on the dress I wear when she wants them all the same. I need the straps, I need the support and I need to feed the baby. Also, my daughter who will be 21 months is supposed to be the flower girl. I'm just picturing a meltdown 2 year old who only wants mommy and trying to breastfeed in a hot car, stripped to the waist with milk dripping onto my dress while everyone waits so we can finish taking pictures. Then I picture the rest of the evening alone in a room nursing because I have to be half naked.
Am I just being melodramatic? Am I being unreasonable? I tried to get out of it but my mom said I was only thinking of myself and being selfish and it's only one day. My mom is paying for the dresses because we have ziltch money. I'm not even sure how I'll get the dress altered between when the baby comes and the wedding. We haven't even been fitted yet. Maybe in Jan. I wish I could just not be a bridesmaid and just maybe do a reading or something and my daughter can be in it. Am I thinking it's going to be worse than it is?

Frizabeans 12-25-2012 07:37 AM

Yes your being a tad melodramatic. It'll be fine. A bit of a pain? Yes. But not the horror story you've created in your head. With a strapless dress you could just sort of pop you boob out the top. And you could probably change after the ceremony and pictures. Try to think of the event as a happy celebration and not a torture.

keen1981 12-25-2012 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frizabeans
Yes your being a tad melodramatic. It'll be fine. A bit of a pain? Yes. But not the horror story you've created in your head. With a strapless dress you could just sort of pop you boob out the top. And you could probably change after the ceremony and pictures. Try to think of the event as a happy celebration and not a torture.

Agree.


I was 5 weeks post pardum when I wore my sisters bridesmaid dress and breastfed. It can be done. Get a cover.

Yarnjess 12-25-2012 08:05 AM

Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
 
Or get a pretty ring sling made to go with your dress and practice nursing in the sling prior to the big day. That way you can nurse discreetly without having to wear a giant bib thing if you're not into that. Plus, you'll have a cute sling to carry the baby in at the event, which means you'll be able to eat more easily and baby has a place to snuggle with you and hide from the massive amount of input at a wedding. Slingrings.com has good rings for making ring slings. Good luck!

SaraElise 12-25-2012 08:10 AM

Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
 
I wasn't in a wedding, but went to a wedding with our 3rd when she was 7-8 weeks old. I wore a strapless dress and strapless bra with pads (I hate nursing bras anyway, so switch to regular bras with pads once I got back down to a somewhat reasonable size), threw a blanket over my shoulder and just pulled my dress down in the front. I would also stick a burp cloth over the top of your dress so you don't leak on it.

It will probably be a bit of a pain in the butt, but not the end of the world. She'll need to understand that you will need to excuse yourself (or just be unavailable) at certain times during the reception to feed the baby.

I would have someone specifically assigned to keep an eye on and help your daughter, and another person to be with the baby, and then you can jump in and help as needed, but not feel like you are being pulled in 3 directions at all times.

AnimalHouse 12-25-2012 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frizabeans (Post 16077303)
Yes your being a tad melodramatic. It'll be fine. A bit of a pain? Yes. But not the horror story you've created in your head. With a strapless dress you could just sort of pop you boob out the top. And you could probably change after the ceremony and pictures. Try to think of the event as a happy celebration and not a torture.

:yeahthat: I tend to expect the worst in situations like this, and it sounds like you've done the same. You'll be fine. I like a PP's suggestion of using a ring sling. Baby will be fine during the ceremony, and you can use the sling during the reception to nurse the baby.

mommy2abigail 12-25-2012 08:52 AM

Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
 
My dd2 was 11 days old at my sisters wedding. I was the maid of honor. I asked my sister if it would be ok for me to make a matching sling to hold dd, and of course she was fine with it. I nursed her right before the service, dh held her during, and I nursed her again after. I went into the dressing room to nurse, since the dress style had me half naked too. Lol. It wasn't a big deal at all. During the reception, everyone danced and held her and I got to sit and eat and relax. I only regret being so tired and sore (still bleeding at that point) that I left a bit early. Really though, relax, have fun, and don't stress! Everyone will understand if you need to go nurse her, and if they don't, well who cares? Lol

aries416 12-25-2012 08:55 AM

I was a bridesmaid in a strapless dress with my nursing 7 month old and almost 3 yr old flower girl. DH was also in the wedding. I pumped before I put on my dress and pumped between the ceremony and reception. No big deal. Yes, I had to take my dress down to pump, but I did it in the car. The strapless bra was fine. It was annoying, but very doable.

ashley84 12-25-2012 09:27 AM

Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
 
If you haven't already tried them, LilyPadz are amazing and would probably help you out immensely in this situation. They literally seal off your nipples so you don't leak even when you letdown. They do wear out over time and have to be replaced. If you get a pair don't overuse them before the big event.

I often pump and take bottles of breastmilk with me when I'm out and about. It's so much faster to bottle feed on the run than it is to sit down and nurse. You could go hide some place and pump quick and then come out and have someone else feed the baby too. There are lots of ways you could do this. You could pump enough in advance that you could get a sitter for the whole day and bring a cooler and pump when you feel full. You could bring someone along to nanny the baby there and pump so they can feed the baby bottles. You could even just take a break every 2 hours and hide somewhere with the baby real quick.

JennTheMomma 12-25-2012 10:29 AM

Re: Bridesmaid while breastfeeding - am I stressing for nothing.
 
I don't think you're being melodramatic. There are a lot of hormones going crazy still at 8 weeks postpartum, you may or may not be done with lochia yet, you may or may not be sore on your bottom, you may or may not be breastfeeding smoothly, etc. So many different possabilites. I would just tell her that you are so honored to be a bridesmaid, but you really need a dress with a strap. I assume she has no kids yet, so probably doesn't understand. I cannot nurse in a strapless bra, no way. My breasts are too heavy when not full of milk and if I wear a strapless bra I have to use that glu stuff to keep it up, and that's not very compatible with a nursing infant.

I think she can bend a little for you. Sure it's her "day", but you really don't need the stress which can escalate a lot of emotions so early on in your postpartum weeks. It's also not just for your comfort, but for your baby's. Sitting around in a car or bathroom just because she didn't want you to wear straps, is not worth the hassle in my book.

I truly hope you two can come to an agreement that works for you both. Maybe you can suggest clear straps on both your bra and dress.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:18 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vB.Sponsors