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-   -   I have a question about loss (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1474905)

Mac & Cheeses mom 12-25-2012 09:25 AM

My step cousin and his girl lost their baby girl 2 days before Christmas. Right now they are surrounded by family.

What places can they find help online once the holidays are over? Are there places thy should seek help from?

Their little one was not even a year old yet. It was their first child. I want to help where I can and that is by info. They meet with the funeral home today.

TIA for any and all help on this hard subject.

greencrunchymama 12-25-2012 09:42 AM

Re: I have a question about loss
 
Oh gosh. I am so sorry :( I don't have any advice, but I just feel so bad for your family.

Mac & Cheeses mom 12-25-2012 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greencrunchymama
Oh gosh. I am so sorry :( I don't have any advice, but I just feel so bad for your family.

Thank you

3 ladybugs 12-26-2012 09:48 AM

Re: I have a question about loss
 
There are bereavement groups out there. With a loss that old though she may feel out of place. I lost my DD at 5 months 5 days and there are times that I feel out of place with them. Honestly this is a taboo subject in general out there. No one wants to think of lost parents to "older" children. I think people think that this doesn't happen in this day and age.

I have 2 suggestions. 1) Encourage them to take a trip ASAP. I left town the day after DD died with my mother, step father and DH. We had nothing in mind and ended up in Lake Placid, NY on January 6th and there was no snow. Very odd! Ended up spending a couple of days going through Vermont, Massachusetts and then back here to Jersey. It gave me time to clear my head and thankfully by time I got back I wasn't pumping and dumping anymore. A BIG plus in my book.

2) She really should talk about her loss. Not on an on type talking about it. But mention it around. She probably knows people that actually have been in her shoes. DH has to former co-workers who both lost children later in life (the children were 8 and 10 I think). Sadly this is out there and it does make you feel not so alone during this process.

I am sorry to see anyone have to go through this but I hope that they are able to get back to "normal" in a reasonable amount of time. :bighug:

Mac & Cheeses mom 12-26-2012 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs
There are bereavement groups out there. With a loss that old though she may feel out of place. I lost my DD at 5 months 5 days and there are times that I feel out of place with them. Honestly this is a taboo subject in general out there. No one wants to think of lost parents to "older" children. I think people think that this doesn't happen in this day and age.

I have 2 suggestions. 1) Encourage them to take a trip ASAP. I left town the day after DD died with my mother, step father and DH. We had nothing in mind and ended up in Lake Placid, NY on January 6th and there was no snow. Very odd! Ended up spending a couple of days going through Vermont, Massachusetts and then back here to Jersey. It gave me time to clear my head and thankfully by time I got back I wasn't pumping and dumping anymore. A BIG plus in my book.

2) She really should talk about her loss. Not on an on type talking about it. But mention it around. She probably knows people that actually have been in her shoes. DH has to former co-workers who both lost children later in life (the children were 8 and 10 I think). Sadly this is out there and it does make you feel not so alone during this process.

I am sorry to see anyone have to go through this but I hope that they are able to get back to "normal" in a reasonable amount of time. :bighug:

Thank you so much for the information. I will let my family know ASAP. I know that right now the parents are locking themselves in the room and only coming out for certain people. I do know the fathers twin should be there now so that should help.

Thank you for your kind words. I have been a wreck too because I have a 2yr old (well she turns two next Monday). I have been going through my emotions too.

3 ladybugs 12-27-2012 05:56 AM

Re: I have a question about loss
 
I hope I helped! Another thing the family around them should be doing is preparing meals for them. I couldn't eat a lot of days and having pre-prepared food did help for those times I could get up and off the couch.

:bighug:

Mac & Cheeses mom 12-27-2012 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3 ladybugs
I hope I helped! Another thing the family around them should be doing is preparing meals for them. I couldn't eat a lot of days and having pre-prepared food did help for those times I could get up and off the couch.

:bighug:

That's a great idea. I guess she has lots if family in the area.

IsabelsMama 12-28-2012 10:47 PM

Re: I have a question about loss
 
Yes we lost our baby girl a little over a month ago. I am on my new iPad right now and can't type very fast but please message me and I will send some recommendations from all the ones I have received and come across in the past month. Two off the top of my head are www.faithslodge.org and www.griefshare.org. I am attending my first Griefshare meeting next week and my husband and I are going to Faith's Lodge in late January. I am lifting prayers for this family. If they are interested in reading it, our loss is blogged about on www.abigailegrace.blogspot.com

Hugs to you and them!

s2grace 01-02-2013 11:59 AM

Re: I have a question about loss
 
So sorry mama. Baby Center has a few great online forums for them to go to. There is one called perinatal stillbirth and infant loss. There are mamas who lost their babies at birth (our daughter was born and lived for two hours) and then others who lost babies at later times. It's a great place to be with others who understand.


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