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-   -   So tired of the screaming/crying! (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1479356)

leyash 01-08-2013 02:10 PM

So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
From my FIVE year old!!! It's ridiculous.

He cries every time he gets told no. He cries/screams EVERY time someone says something he doesn't like.

Since he's been home from school (about 15 minutes), he's been sent to his room TWICE because he's being hateful/crying/rude.

OHMYGODDDD!! I want to scream, myself!

The first time he was sent in there because he asked me what he could have for snack. I said, "There are Danimals drinks, peaches, a banana, or string cheese. That's all I can think of right now." He said, "I'm not getting anything. You won't tell me what all there is!" I told him, "I just told you what there was. I can't think of anything else. If you would like, you can go look and see if you can find anything else you might want." All of this stemming because in the car on the way home, he asked if he could have a package of cookies. No, you can't... those are for SCHOOL snacks, not home snacks. Then he wanted a poptart. No... those are for breakfasts, not snacks. After him yelling at me in frustration, I sent him to his room.

He was in there about 4-6 minutes. He asked if he could come out. I said, "Do you think you can talk to me respectfully?" He said yes. So I let him come out.

NOT EVEN 5 minutes later, he YELLS at his brother to get him some peaches. Uhhh, excuse me?! When you feel like asking people for things NICELY, then you can come out of his room. This time, I told him he can come out when I say he's ready. He's been in there for about 5 minutes. I think I'll leave him for 2-3 more and see how it goes.

I am not against spanking, but since he's being fairly aggressive (vocally, not physically), I don't think it fits in this scenario. I think the next step might be to make him write sentences. I am SO frustrated! He just started school again yesterday after Christmas break, and already?! Geez. It was like this ALL over break, too. I just don't know what to do, but his crying/screaming, etc. is driving me CRAZY!! AHHH!!!

/badmomoftheyearaward

cdeweese 01-08-2013 02:17 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
:hugs: Both of mine do this occasionally (especially DD) and it drives me crazy.

MeCo7707 01-08-2013 02:20 PM

My daughter is similar, she will ask for a snack and I will offer xyz but she won't that, so I ask her what she does want and she sayd lmn and I say no you can't have that. I probably shouldn't have asked what she wanted I should have said I have xyz and you can pick whatever you want out of that, when I open the question to what do you want it is frustrating for her to be able to communicate what she wants but not get it. If I do ask her what she wants I try and phrase it: Alright well those are your options, I may have missed something, can you think of anything I missed? She says A or B and I say nope, I know those are in the cupboard so I didn't forget them, a or b would be great during this time. It allows her to give me some suggestions because I honestly forget we have apples or grapefruit or whatever, but gives me more control of the situation kwim?

abunchoflemons 01-08-2013 02:29 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
Mine does on dinner... I dont want that. And I don't give another option & tell her to9 eat. My patience is low as I'm due soon. Mine is almost 8 though. I just don't take it. I tell her what's expected & that's that. When older then I will tell her to make her own thing but not great at making food for dinner. Tries to burn house down just toasting toast. I would put in corner til he can say sorry.

amb2j 01-08-2013 02:29 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
My DS is going through a similar phase. He's home from daycare no more than 5 minutes before he's on his naughty mat for whining :-(. Im hoping it, too, shall pass :-)

leyash 01-08-2013 02:40 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MeCo7707 (Post 16131715)
My daughter is similar, she will ask for a snack and I will offer xyz but she won't that, so I ask her what she does want and she sayd lmn and I say no you can't have that. I probably shouldn't have asked what she wanted I should have said I have xyz and you can pick whatever you want out of that, when I open the question to what do you want it is frustrating for her to be able to communicate what she wants but not get it. If I do ask her what she wants I try and phrase it: Alright well those are your options, I may have missed something, can you think of anything I missed? She says A or B and I say nope, I know those are in the cupboard so I didn't forget them, a or b would be great during this time. It allows her to give me some suggestions because I honestly forget we have apples or grapefruit or whatever, but gives me more control of the situation kwim?

Yeah. I get what you mean.

Normally, I will let them have anything in there, really. Poptarts would normally be okay for a snack, etc. However... we went to the grocery store yesterday, and I am not going back again for ATLEAST a week, and if they eat all of the breakfast food for snacks, then they don't have anything for breakfast this weekend, and so on. So I am having to be a little more strict about it now... which he isn't used to. But this is just today. This behavior has been for the last month or so, really. I'm THINKING that it's because I am pregnant, but good LORD it's frustrating!

leyash 01-08-2013 02:45 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by abunchoflemons (Post 16131761)
Mine does on dinner... I dont want that. And I don't give another option & tell her to9 eat. My patience is low as I'm due soon. Mine is almost 8 though. I just don't take it. I tell her what's expected & that's that. When older then I will tell her to make her own thing but not great at making food for dinner. Tries to burn house down just toasting toast. I would put in corner til he can say sorry.

Well that backfired. I sent him to his room and he fell asleep. Now I am trying to get him up and he's yelling again!

Ah... Someone pray for me. I do not have the patience for this today, lol.

leyash 01-08-2013 02:47 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by amb2j (Post 16131763)
My DS is going through a similar phase. He's home from daycare no more than 5 minutes before he's on his naughty mat for whining :-(. Im hoping it, too, shall pass :-)

Yeah. My five year old whines. A lot. Now my four year old is picking up on it and doing it more often as well.

I just had to send him to the corner because he is crying/yelling that "I woke him up and he was tired!" Not an excuse to talk to me that way... sorry buddy. I am NOT doing it today. Normally I just have to ignore it and let it go because I notice myself getting too angry/frustrated. Today, there is no ignoring. We are GOING to get this problem under control, or one of us is going to have some serious issues, and it's not gonna be me! :)

elioraimmanuel 01-08-2013 03:58 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
I feel your pain, Mama. Our 7 y/o screams when he doesn't like something. I hear the "You hate me," or disrespect or whatever.

So, I don't offer a choice....You can have a banana. period. You can go to your room for being disrespectful. period. You can go to bed.

Of course, he would love to have his privileges, but with repeated offense they are taken away...no video games, no video, no dessert AND a chores are added for each offense. Some days he is a VERY busy boy! I went through this w/C1, too.

Someone, once told me that when I am argued with, disrespected etc. To throw the back of my hand against my head and feign a fake southern belle accent and say, "Oh, you're drainin' my energy." and then add a task so that she could restore that energy. It REALLY worked. I think I'll start that with my son! (When I get my voice back.)

leyash 01-08-2013 04:01 PM

Re: So tired of the screaming/crying!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by elioraimmanuel (Post 16132168)
I feel your pain, Mama. Our 7 y/o screams when he doesn't like something. I hear the "You hate me," or disrespect or whatever.

So, I don't offer a choice....You can have a banana. period. You can go to your room for being disrespectful. period. You can go to bed.

Of course, he would love to have his privileges, but with repeated offense they are taken away...no video games, no video, no dessert AND a chores are added for each offense. Some days he is a VERY busy boy! I went through this w/C1, too.

Someone, once told me that when I am argued with, disrespected etc. To throw the back of my hand against my head and feign a fake southern belle accent and say, "Oh, you're drainin' my energy." and then add a task so that she could restore that energy. It REALLY worked. I think I'll start that with my son! (When I get my voice back.)

Haha! That actually isn't a bad idea.

We've done much better the last hour or so. :) He ate some dinner, then had some ice cream for finishing his dinner. He's walking around the house singing now, lol. I think he's tired, honestly... and I think he's stressed about a new baby... and I think that he has some serious "middle child" issues. I just hope this isn't a permanent thing. I am NOT very patient now that I am pregnant, and sometimes I can be pretty mean when they start acting like this. :( There are three of them, and one of me, and I have to explain that. I can't yell at kids for being disrespectful all day, but I also can't continue to ignore it because it's now become a constant behavior. Ugh. Parenting.


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