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-   -   Can't Have the Birth I Want (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1482294)

cheezpoofs 01-16-2013 06:13 PM

Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
I am just so so sad. Though our new insurance told my husband before that they do cover home births, they now say that they don't. My midwife requires payment in full by thirty-six weeks and I just won't have the money, now or really in the future. Not that a hospital birth is more affordable, but they bill you after the services, can write off/ discount prices sharply, and can be paid in twenty dollar increments. I really don't want to have a hospital birth. None of my children were born in hospitals. I don't want a doctor or nurses trying to bully me into laboring in a bed, cutting an episiotomy, trying to bully me into any other unnecessary medical procedure for me or my baby, actually DOING unnecessary procedures on either of us, etc. I don't want a hospital to own my baby. I don't want to run the risk of getting illness from being in a germy hospital. I just don't want any part of a hospital birth. I haven't built a relationship with an OB, so I'm sure I'll have no advocate for my wants other than myself and maybe my hubby and doctors often disregard that anyway because they can. My husband is completely opposed to birthing unassisted. Other midwives are no more an option than the one I'm currently with, as again, not covered for home birth anyway. I don't really have a lot of options here.

:crying:

jackobeano 01-16-2013 06:45 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
I'm so sorry mama, I had a period of time with DD where it looked like we would be in the same position (hospital birth covered but midwife not). It was devastating to me thinking about having to be in the hospital to give birth. I made some calls and got to the right person in charge who said it was in fact covered. Have you talked to the people up the ladder to make sure you are getting the best and correct information? Also, I don't know if this is an option for you but there are credit cards you can get where interest is deferred for a certain amount of time which gives you time to pay it off on a monthly basis.

MDever 01-16-2013 06:53 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
I recently had to come to terms with a similar issue. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I have had our other 4 in hospital because there are no other options and really hoped for my dreamed of homebirth for our last baby(DH already got his V). I have had one letdown after another including my best friend who is an RN experienced in labor, delivery, and level 2 nursery care bailing after she offered to attend a homebirth. It really is heartbreaking. I hope so much that you can figure something out:hugs:

Caz 01-16-2013 07:26 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
:hugs: Not that it will make it all better - but could your current midwife recommend another midwife that does hospital deliveries in your area? I had a very relaxed and natural delivery with DD in a small community hospital with a fabulous midwife. I know it's not the same as a homebirth, but I definitely did not labor in a bed (I was in a tub), no meds (not even a hep-lock), no episiotomy, I never laid eyes on an OB, the nurses were very accustomed to natural childbirth from working with this particular group of midwives, and my baby never left my side.

Again, I know that it's not what you want, but I'm wondering if you might be able to find a provider that will support a natural delivery without all the crap that often comes with a hospital birth?

homebirthmom 01-16-2013 07:32 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
1. see if you can find a doula who will support you doing a unassisted birth. most are trained as labor assistants and can perform emergency help if need be.

2. ask the midwife to bill insurance after the birth and see if she will be ok with that. OR if she will take a chunk now and bill insurance. be honest with her, if she knows you really want a homebirth most midwives will make it happen at minimal cost. heck, many will do it for free if they know you are doing it for the right reasons. I have never turned away anyone because of money (but thats the way I did it)

3. look for another midwife that works on a sliding scale.

4. ask your family to help you pay for the birth.

5. take out a loan. I truly believe birth is not where you should skimp of decisions. if you feel you should be home, you should. I would not accept $100,000 to birth at a hospital but thats cause I feel safe at home.

6. DONT give up!!

message me if you need more info :)

jaelynsmommy61607 01-16-2013 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homebirthmom (Post 16167835)
1. see if you can find a doula who will support you doing a unassisted birth. most are trained as labor assistants and can perform emergency help if need be.

2. ask the midwife to bill insurance after the birth and see if she will be ok with that. OR if she will take a chunk now and bill insurance. be honest with her, if she knows you really want a homebirth most midwives will make it happen at minimal cost. heck, many will do it for free if they know you are doing it for the right reasons. I have never turned away anyone because of money (but thats the way I did it)

3. look for another midwife that works on a sliding scale.

4. ask your family to help you pay for the birth.

5. take out a loan. I truly believe birth is not where you should skimp of decisions. if you feel you should be home, you should. I would not accept $100,000 to birth at a hospital but thats cause I feel safe at home.

6. DONT give up!!

message me if you need more info :)

This. I'd seriously find a way to fund it. She nay have a cash price. Fins out if your state insurance covers home birth if you qualify.

Kiliki 01-16-2013 08:08 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
Ddc

My Medicaid covered homebirth with my son. With Medicaid, I did not have to pay anything up front.

Look into birth centers. Many have relationships with insurance companies that allow them to bill just like an OB office would, and some offer homebirth if they have no clients in labor at the moment.

I also agree with PP. I would take out a loan, put it on a credit card, ask family for help.... I feel strongly about not giving birth in a hospital, and I realize not everyone will agree, but I think if there's ever a good reason to take on debt, it is for major life changing things like this. Things you can never redo, never take back, things you will remember forever. It's not like going into debt to get a Ferrari, or to buy jewelry, or to have a shopping spree, or to buy a Dolce & Gabbana purse.... kwim?

gingersnappy 01-16-2013 08:14 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
I just wanted to chime in with what Caz said. I've only had one baby (12/31/12) and it was at a local hospital. It is a small place with 3 birthing suites. Try a small local hospital in network, so it is covered, and see what their philosophy is. Literally, through out all my appointments in 9 months I never even saw the OB and just dealt with midwives- only after birth did I see a MD & it was actually to do a physical on DD. I was in labor for 36 hours after my water broke, and there was no pressure to do any procedures I didn't want. Their was some fetal monitoring but I was cool with that b/c of the duration of labor. Eventually I asked for an epidural and oxytocin b/c I was in back labor, miserable, and I wasn't progressing enough in terms of dilation. I was in a nice private suite with a bath, shower, tV, fridge etc and my hubby stayed with me the whole time. It was a hospital- yes- but it was a positive experience with medical interventions that only I wanted. Baby stayed with me the whole time.

lisha622 01-16-2013 08:25 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
Aw, Mama, I'm sorry :( I know the feeling.. with DD (when we were both pregnant together with our march 11 babies), I really wanted a birth center birth, did lots of reading and research, and then found out that our insurance wouldn't cover it. I was devastated. I ended up having the best hospital experience I could possibly have had (got the natural delivery I wanted), so for that I'm thankful. I was still bummed I didn't get to use the birth center though, and I'm so glad I get to this time.

That all being said, I bet it's even harder for you since you've only done home births. At the same time, you know you can do it and you have done it (naturally, that is), so you have that in your favor. If you have to use a hospital, just wait and wait and wait as long as possible before going.

And other mamas gave great advice before me about looking into still trying to get the homebirth you want, so hopefully you won't even have to have a hospital birth.

Green Decals 01-16-2013 10:55 PM

Re: Can't Have the Birth I Want
 
I hear you, and understand your DH not wanting to go unassisted. If all of the previously mentioned options don't work, ask your midwife to come do a postpartum visit, and talk to your DH about what that would involve. You can birth at home, technically unassisted, and have midwife there immediately following. I am willing to bet she would just come for the birth, but only be "contracted" for the postpartum visit, KWIM? It all depends on how she is willing to handle it. My midwife only attends from 37-42 weeks but we were clear about the fact that we were not going to go into the hospital if I went into labor between 35-37 weeks, for the same reasons you mentioned. My midwife was completely understanding, and agreed to be our postpartum care person. Calling an EMS team to be on standby is always an option too. Childbirth is not a medical emergency, so they aren't going to rush you right off to the hospital, but they can if a complication arises, and they have all the necessary resuscitation equipment with them, plus IV fluids and meds to handle various situations.


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