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-   -   WWYD? DS hates preschool (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1487371)

MamaWillow 01-31-2013 02:37 PM

WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
About a year ago DS said he wanted to go to school so we put him a little program two days a week. He was excited about it for a month then never wanted to go, down to screaming and crying when I dropped him off. I'm a SAHM so there isn't a reason for me to force him to be there. We pulled him out.

In the fall, we figured it was time for him to go again, he was a couple months from turning 4. We did a different f
program, two days a week, but after a couple months moved to three days because he liked it so much.

Since Xmas, he has been saying he doesn't like school. Never ever wants to go, but almost always is happy once we get there. The past week or so it's been getting worse, and he really doesn't want to go. He asks every day if there is school and then says he doesn't like it. Yesterday it got even worse and he was super clingy, crying, freaking out. I stayed for a long time buy he never warmed up. I ended up taking him home with me. Today he didn't want to go so I didn't push it.

Would you pull him out completely? I don't have a need for childcare, I still have YDD when he's at school so it's not like I have kid free time. Because of where his birthday falls he won't start kindergarten until fall 2014 so he still has another year of preschool. DH has vivid and awful memories of being forced to go to preschool, and he's really sensitive about this. He remembers telling his mom he didn't want to go, crying and being forced, and wondering why no one was listening to him when he said he didn't want to be there. I want to respect DH's wishes but at the same time, I dunno if it's the best move. What do you think?

stevensmom 01-31-2013 02:40 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
I would talk with the teacher...maybe there is a kid there that is bugging him.

I wouldn't pull him out right away...need to get down to the root of "why" he doesn't like it. Is it because he can't do what he wants to do? Is a kid being mean to him? Is he not getting enough sleep and cranky when getting up for school?

I also wouldn't force him to go...but you need to know what is causing his concerns.

Because he may not "get over it" and act the same way when he hits kindergarten.

tallanvor 01-31-2013 03:20 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
I agree that you really should try and find out the problem first. I am not a big preschool person, and don't really see the need for it, but if he's already there, it seems to me to make more sense to find out the problem so that you aren't likely to encounter it again if you are going to put him in public school.

EmilytheStrange 01-31-2013 03:28 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
agree with the previous posts.

try to find the root of the problem so it doesn't start again in kindergarten, but ultimately, it's not worth making him go.

MamaWillow 01-31-2013 03:39 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
He has always said he doesn't like E, one of the boys. E joined a few weeks after school started. He's a younger 3 and as the teacher puts it, kind of a spazz. He isn't mean, in fact he pretty much keeps to himself but he doesn't listen well, doesn't eat at snack/lunch, and the teacher has told me that he is her current challenge. I don't know why DS is so bothered by him because he doesn't do anything to DS. But, from the beginning DS said he didn't like him. I have tried a lot of things but DS still says he doesn't like him. In the beginning I was like, "tough cookies" and didn't think much of it. But now he says that's why he doesn't like school. I sort of think that it has become just the thing he says when we ask, like it's not really a reason but he can see we react to that, or he doesn't have a real reason so he just says that. I dunno. I sort of think it's nuts to pull him out just because he doesn't like the other kid, but if he hates being there so much....

stevensmom 01-31-2013 03:43 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
okay...now think about this when he's older...if he doesn't like a fellow co-worker, is it going to be okay for him to quit work?

I'm thinking that as a family you need to do some sit down and getting to the root of it. E may be the fall back to (like you said).

having dh's experience of hating school and being forced into it is probably not helping either. DH may not come out flat and say it, but his body language and other actions are probably showing to ds.


:hugs:

sorry you are having to go through this :hugs:

stevensmom 01-31-2013 03:44 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
also how is he when he is in preschool, when you aren't there...ask his teacher how his behavior is.

sometimes kids tell mom and dad that they hate school, but are perfectly fine during school.

it's a "mommy being at home and having fun with out me" syndrom

MamaWillow 01-31-2013 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevensmom (Post 16230876)
okay...now think about this when he's older...if he doesn't like a fellow co-worker, is it going to be okay for him to quit work?

I'm thinking that as a family you need to do some sit down and getting to the root of it. E may be the fall back to (like you said).

having dh's experience of hating school and being forced into it is probably not helping either. DH may not come out flat and say it, but his body language and other actions are probably showing to ds.

:hugs:

sorry you are having to go through this :hugs:


Those were my thoughts exactly. At first I was telling him that we don't always like people in out class, or anywhere. I have tried telling him to ignore E, or tell E to leave him alone, etc.

But on the other hand, I don't see why he should be forced to go when he still had another year before "real" school. I really don't like the running-out-the-door-while-kid-is-screaming thing. I think it directly shows kids that we don't really care how they feel or what they think. I guess it would be different if it was mandatory though.

EmilytheStrange 01-31-2013 04:59 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaWillow (Post 16231266)
Those were my thoughts exactly. At first I was telling him that we don't always like people in out class, or anywhere. I have tried telling him to ignore E, or tell E to leave him alone, etc.

But on the other hand, I don't see why he should be forced to go when he still had another year before "real" school. I really don't like the running-out-the-door-while-kid-is-screaming thing. I think it directly shows kids that we don't really care how they feel or what they think. I guess it would be different if it was mandatory though.

this is the clincher. There are plenty of years to be accepting of other kids, learn to ignore people you don't like, learn to work with people you don't like, etc.

he's 4. Unless keeping him home is an actual problem, I don't see why to force it.

reneaumommy 01-31-2013 09:05 PM

Re: WWYD? DS hates preschool
 
I'm in a similar spot. DS told me he didn't want to go he wanted to be home with his family. So DS is doing just that and quite advanced for a 3.5 year old.


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